The model
by Svaler
Summary: Bella was once a model for Playboy magazine. Now she's a member of the cleaning staff for the Cullen's Company. A team of criminals want to destroy the major company and the missing piece to their perfected plan is finally found, dressed as a janitor. All human. Rated M for dark themes.
1. Preface

**A/N:** This story contains angst and will dwell on dark themes. It's not suitable for younger readers. Please enter with caution and bear in mind that included in the upcoming chapters is: sex, abuse, crime, torture and other themes that may not be comfortable for all readers.

* * *

 _ **Full summary**_

Once a model for Playboy magazine, now a member of the cleaning staff of the Cullen's Company. Bella tries to live a normal life, until one late afternoon a corrupt team with a structured, organized plan wants to destroy the major company she works for. The missing piece to their perfected plan is finally found, dressed as a janitor, minding her own business.

* * *

 _ **Preface**_

"Was there anything you needed, Miss Swan?"

His tone suggested his boredom.

She stared at the heavy desk where they'd tied her, humiliated her and hurt her.

The words wouldn't leave her lips, so she gave him what was in her hand. It was a letter of her resignation - effective and _almost_ immediately. She would finish her shift of the day. She was aware of rules, but her mind wasn't in the right place to care.

He looked at it with raised eyebrows and before he could reply, she already turned to walk out of his office.

The gossip was out before the ten am coffee break...

 _"Did you hear? The model quit her job!"_

 _"Quit? No! The boss fired her."_

 _"No! He fired her?"_

 _"Of course! Makes much more sense."_

 _..._

 _"The model is fired?"_

 _"Why is she still roaming this floor?"_

 _..._

 _"Serves her right! Never did I dream a whore would be allowed to work in a prestigious company such as the CC."_

 _..._

 _"I'm telling you, he offered her money for sex and now he's through with her."_

 _"How much do you think he gave her?"_

 _"Not much."_

 _..._

 _"It's fantastic news. The model had sex with the boss, for free!"_

 _"The whore fucks for free."_

 _..._

 _"She isn't even pretty."_

 _"Obviously! The boss himself fired her."_

 _"He didn't even bother to slip her a fifty dollar bill."_

 _..._

 _"Should we tell the model to get off this property?"_

 _"She is trespassing. We could."_

 _"Somebody must tell her."_

 _..._

 _"Are you coming out tonight? We're going to celebrate the model's departure!"_

 _"Absolutely, let's hit the café."_

 _"Finally, good riddance."_

 _"The boss came to his senses."_

 _"I'm glad he did."_

 _"After today, the model is finally gone."_

 _"Good riddance."_

 _..._

She resented Mr Cullen.

He knew better.

Bella stomped to where he stood, next to the printing machine.

"What have you been saying about me?" she screamed at his back.

She had to make everybody think she'd gone mad.

It was part of the plan.

He froze and turned to face her.

"Excuse me?" he said with furrowed eyebrows.

"All the words leaving your mouth is _bullshit_ ," she continued. "I hope you find consolation in all that _bullshit_ your swimming in. And next I hope you drown in it."

Even though she put a great act into it, she found truth in her words.

It was all bullshit and that upset her.

The entire floor went silent as the boss and the janitor both looked at each other with fury.


	2. Chapter 1: The Interview

**A/N:** For the ones that are giving this story a shot, thank you. Just for clarification, but this is an ExB story, without the fluff.

* * *

 _Chapter 1 - The interview_

The dead, black hair was in a tight ponytail. It'd been bleached several times and dyed to get the right colour for a Playboy magazine model. Upon trying to make it brown again, the colour turned out all wrong.

Twenty-three interviews later she stood before the CC. It was the famous company that was quickly taking over smaller companies. Some would call the CC a leach that was feeding itself off the less wealthy. Others would call it brilliant. Bella leaned toward the latter one and call the CC brilliant. She respected anyone who had no fear of rising and showing how something could be done in better ways. Others would get angry or jealous about such people, but not Bella. When working with discreet, there was no harm done.

Today, she would have her twenty-forth interview for a position as creative writer. She pressed the elevator button to bring her to the twenty-fifth floor. It was the top floor of the CC building.

She heard a _ping!_ and the doors opened. The elevator cleared and she, along with two other ladies entered.

All she yearned for was a job, but everybody seemed to know about her past work and didn't want her in their company. Despite her undergraduate and great grades, her past was visible for everyone to see, making her degree nearly worthless.

The two ladies both glanced back and did a quick once over on Bella.

She froze.

 _They know already who she was._

It often happened fast, but not this fast. She held her face straight.

Each time the elevator stopped, several people would get in or step out. She was glanced at so many times, it was impossible to keep count. It only added to her embarrassment.

The whispers around her were very indiscreet. As she'd been thinking before, no harm was done when something was done with discreet.

This harmed her too much, mostly because they judged her while not knowing anything about her.

 _"It's that Playboy model?"_

 _"Yes, I believe so! What is she doing in the CC?"_

Ping!

 _"Isn't that Izzy Dwyer? That whore..."_

 _"It looks like her!"_

Ping!

 _"Wasn't Izzy a blonde whore?"_

 _"You fool, obviously it was dyed platinum blonde."_

Ping!

 _"Isn't that the whore from Playboy?"_

Ping!

 _"You won't believe who's behind us!"_

 _"Who?"_

 _"Look!"_

Ping!

 _"Is she trying to reach the pants of Cullen, you think?"_

 _"Certainly. Disgusting, the way she's been acting. Disgusting."_

 _"A disgrace to humanity."_

Ping!

The elevator was only on the twentieth floor, but finally the elevator cleared, and she was left alone.

At least they'd been whispering, but what she heard next was anything but a whisper.

"For sure she's going for Cullen! Why else would she go to the upper floors?"

At last, no longer being able to hold in her anger, she turned her angry eyes to the ones who said that. They shrunk back in fear and the elevator doors finally closed.

She leaned back and groaned out loud.

Ping!

 _Please God, have mercy._

The doors opened on the twenty-third floor and she held her eyes down.

As the elevator reached its destination in slow motion, she looked up to person in the elevator.

A man in a dark suit, at least in his thirties, stared at Bella.

"See something you like?" she shot.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her long enough for her to see his striking green eyes.

Realizing her foolish response, she shut her eyes hard and shook her head.

Ping!

"I'm very sorry, sir!" she said, but he was already leaving the elevator without glancing back.

She walked to the secretary in defeat.

"Good morning. I'm Isabella Swan, I have an interview at eleven."

"Take a seat, Mr Cullen will collect you at eleven."

She looked back and sat down, released her hair from the tight ponytail and allowed her dark, hay-ish hair to hide her from the world. It fell past her upper arms.

She thought of the odds of working as a creative writer for the CC. Her heart wanted it badly, but her mind told her to not jump to conclusions. The odds were slim that Mr Cullen would even want her. If all people that worked for him knew about her past, there was really no doubt left that he knew of her as well. The question now remained if he too would decline her.

"Miss Swan."

She looked up and got up hastily. The man with the dark suit and green eyes stood before her. He was the same man she'd so rudely spoken to in the elevator. He was Mr Cullen, co-founder of the CC. If only she'd known what he looked like, she would have never dared to speak to him that way.

As quick as she'd gotten up, she yearned to leave. The elevator doors were shut, but she thought of the stairs. She could dash for them, run, and never return.

He held out his hand and she took it weakly.

"Isabella Swan," she muttered.

He squeezed her hand briefly.

"Follow me," he said, not introducing himself and his eyes filled with mirth.

They both entered an office and she heard him shut the door. And lock it.

In alarm she turned around to see what he was up to. He walked around his desk and sat down. He pointed at the chair opposite.

She looked at the chair and him.

"I'm sorry about what I said in the elevator."

"I'm not. If only you could peek in my head. I have thoughts of your naked body on this desk and my wish to do with you whatever I desire."

Hence the lock on the door.

He leaned down in his chair and rubbed his fingers over his lips. He seemed to be doing it absentmindedly.

Suddenly, the gossips in the elevator didn't seem so horrid after all. If only they knew it wasn't the girl who was trying to get into the boss' pants, but the other way around. If only...

"What do you say, Izzy?"

She clenched her fist and held his eyes. She didn't come here to be harassed. She came over for a job interview.

"My name is Isabella Swan and you are?"

"Edward Cullen," he said lazily.

"You sure about that?"

She didn't dare to believe this...person could be one of the CEO's of the CC. Perhaps she was mistaken.

"In fact, yes," he said with ease.

He stepped forward, walked around his desk and gave her his ID card.

She saw his picture, a face without a smile.

 _Surname  
_ _Cullen_

 _Given Names  
Edward Anthony _

_Place of Birth  
Washington, U.S.A._

Obviously, since Washington was where the CC was situated.

 _Date of birth: 20 JUN 1988._

That made him twenty-nine.

 _Gender  
M_

 _Eye Colour  
Green  
_

 _Height  
6FT 2IN_

He reached into one of his drawers and showed her a Playboy Magazine. She was on the front cover. Her cheeks burned as she was no longer able to look at him.

"You sure about your name being Isabella Swan?" he shot back.

Tears pricked her eyes.

He stared at the pictures inside; the magazine was filled with ones of her in it.

She planned to take out her ID card and prove him wrong, but he already spoke.

"They surely edited you," he said. "They made you a D, 5'7, blonde, tanned. In real life you're barely a B. You're 5'2. You're brunette. Fair-skinned."

"5'3," she corrected.

She was furious her breast and other body parts had been examined by him.

"You want to be feisty over an inch?" he said.

"If I were to address a certain body part of yours as one inch shorter than reality, I'm certain you would be feisty too."

He stared at her, not allowing her witty remark to show on his face.

"I came here for an interview," she said in a way to remind them both that she didn't want to discuss her times when she worked for Playboy.

He took the magazine and showed her the photo she would be forever ashamed of.

She wasn't nude, but she might as well have been. Her legs were spread wide apart, her back leaning against a couch. Three men stood around her, their dicks hard, and only inches away from her face.

It was photoshop and nobody believed her. It was a way of revenge for what she'd done to the director of Playboy magazine.

"Tell me," he said, "What is a mouse such as yourself doing in Playboy magazine?"

She felt the need to correct him, because it's _was_ and not _is_.

"I came here for an interview," she said again, more slowly this time.

"Interview started one minute ago, Miss Swan."

For the first time he called her by her actual name, but she was still certain he mocked her.

"It started when you suggested you and I have sex?"

"Do you accept checks?"

She turned her back on him to leave.

"Ten grand?"

She turned back to him, her eyes furious. She was ready to scream at him.

He took a check book and wrote down something. He stood up and handed it to her. She now saw how tall he really was compared to her. A 6'2 stood before her 5'3.

She took the check angrily and read what it said.

$50.000, along with his signature.

"Fifty... _Fifty?_... Fifty grand?"

"It's valid."

"I know."

He took a step closer to her, their chests touching.

"Say the word, and that money is yours."

 _Tell him that she's whore, accept several grands and let him do with her body whatever he wants._

She sighed tiredly.

"You're very handsome," she said, looking up. "Attractive. A predator. You've probably been staring at Izzy Dwyer, the girl on the magazine, a few times too many."

The stare he had on her turned cocky.

"I'm a mouse. You're right about that. And the mouse, or the prey, or whatever you want to call me could let the predator catch it, tease it and play with it."

Indeed, she referred to herself as _it_.

That's what she felt like to him, a mere, plain it. Once he finished playing, she'd be discarded. If there's one thing she knew, it's that she could never be a promiscuous girl or a whore.

She took a step away.

"If I say the word, I will be admitting to something I'm not. Most of those pictures are photoshopped, as a way of revenge. I have never accepted money for sex, nor will I ever. I'm sorry to have wasted your time."

She went to stand by the locked door. The lock itself wasn't frightening. It wasn't a key lock, but merely a knob lock. She would've left, if it weren't for his next words.

"Do you want a job, or not?"

She brought her eyes to his and hoped he could see that she was serious when she said, "No, I _need_ a job. But not as your whore."

He smirked and stepped forward.

"The opening of creative writer has been taken by another employee."

"You could have told me that before."

He shrugged casually.

"I do need to expand the cleaning staff."

"Cleaning...staff...?"

"You heard me. And if you _need_ a job, you'd take it. This is your twenty-forth interview. Correct?"

He unlocked the door for her and smirked again.

 _How did he know this was her twenty-forth interview?_

"I'll grant you a minute to decide. I'll wait by my desk."

She shut her eyes tightly and allowed herself the full minute to calm the raging emotions.

He sat back in his chair, quietly watching her - she felt his stare. He was still the predator and she was still the prey. He was jesting her, playing with her.

She decided two can play the game.

"You're attracted to me?" she said with one raised eyebrow, the one she often used in that magazine.

The director - when they were still on friendly terms, told her it was a maddening look. She should use it when she was in dire need of something important and she needed to know for sure whether he was or wasn't attracted to her.

"What?" he muttered.

The director had proven himself right. Mr Cullen looked surprised.

"You're willing to hand over fifty grand for just a moment with this body?"

She pointed at her body and made a mental note that he was again checking her out.

"Upon my refusal, and clear willingness to get out of this place, you're willing to give me a job as a ... _janitor_ simply because you know I need a job and this way I'll remain close to you."

He hummed.

"It's true, isn't it? You desire me."

He steered his head, not denying it.

"Minute's up and you haven't told me to leave."

The discarded magazine on his desk was open, and he took a glance at it.

"I was attracted to the woman on those picture, and you're not the woman on those pictures," he said with malice. "You're a _girl_ , a mouse, for God's sake. A fake, nothing, compared to that woman."

It hurt much more than it should have, to hear him discard me as something trivial.

"I _am_ that woman."

"That woman would have accepted the fifty grand. The girl in front of me is pondering a job to clean bathrooms, scrub floors and empty trash bins."

She thought of a quote she once read and only now did she truly understand what it meant.

 _'I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.'_

"Is it only a test then, or is the opening in the cleaning staff available to me?"

"You want it?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

She nodded.

"Minimum wage?"

"Perfect."

"Six days a week."

"Of course."

"Ten hours a day."

"Yes."

"Damn," he said, straight faced. "You really do need a job."

She walked over to his desk and handed him the check, that is the fifty-grand-dollar check.

"Why don't you hold unto it?" he said with a sickly-sweet smile. "When you deposit the check, I'll come find you."

Her lips pressed on each other, as there were several things to that comment that were disgusting. It was the way he spoke to her and how he said _when_ and not _if_. He assumed she wanted him. He assumed she wanted sex with him.

She tore the check into pieces and threw it in a bin next to his desk.

"Besides," she said, to make a point. "I'm a mouse. A girl."

Her finger pointed at the magazine.

"A fake, compared to that women."

Those were his words which she now repeated.

"By the time I try to deposit the check, I'll see that it's already been cancelled because Mr Cullen obviously doesn't want to fuck a size B, 5'3, fair-skinned brunette."

By the way they looked at her she knew that this argument was won by her. He may have implied that he wasn't attracted to her, but she knew that wasn't true. It most certainly wasn't true.

"Well then," he said with an air of light-heartedness. "I have only a few more questions before I secure you a place in the CC. Sit down."

It was an order and though she didn't like it, she decided it was best to do as told.

He sat as well, and she turned the magazine on its back to no longer see her pictures staring at them both.

"What did you do with the money you earned from Playboy?"

She stared at him in shock. She was expecting normal questions, such as previous work experience.

"I paid a debt."

"Aha."

He stared at her and she looked away.

"I don't answer to your liking and I don't get the job?" she asked timidly.

His silence was his answer.

 _Of course._

The way he looked at her at least confirmed that he knew she wasn't stupid. But if she wasn't stupid, how on earth did she find herself in all the mess she was in right now, a mess that led her to accept a job as a janitor, six days a week, ten hours per day for merely minimum wage?

"My parents had a debt of three hundred grand. They died. The selling of the house reduced it to two hundred grand. The mouse paid the rest within a year."

He stared at her, his face not showing what he thought.

"Can I ask questions too or is this a one-way road?"

"Go ahead."

"Why are you helping me?"

There was the ghost of a smile on his face.

"Pass."

She had a thought that if she were to grab the magazine and smack him with it, that would be pure ecstasy.

"Is that all, Izzy?"

"My name is Isabella Swan."

"Where does Izzy Dwyer come from?"

How come the questionnaire turned back to her?

"Izzy is short for Isabella. Dwyer is my mother's last name."

"A way to hide."

She hummed in annoyance.

"Am I a mouse?"

"Yes."

"Am I different than that woman?" Again, she pointed at the upside-down magazine.

"Yes."

"Why were you willing to give a mouse fifty grand?"

She just very badly wanted to hear him say it, just to confirm her hypothesis.

"Pass."

She could also straight out ask him.

"Are you attracted to me?"

"No."

That was new. She replied with sarcasm.

"Hence the offer of fifty grand."

"Which you discarded in the bin."

"Because I'm not a whore."

"I believe you."

She pushed herself in the seat. Those were words nobody ever told her before.

"You must've pissed them off, though," he said with amused eyes. "What did you do?"

She looked away, not expecting _this_ turn of conversation.

"Nothing..."

"You did say the director of Playboy magazine photoshopped most of the pictures as a way of revenge. Correct?"

If only she'd minded her words a bit more, he would've never asked her the question.

"Correct?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"Pass."

"You cannot pass questions if you want the job."

"What is it to you what I did?"

"Do you want the job, Miss Swan?"

Damn him. She only needed to know why he was so meddling.

"I was offered money by the director."

"You don't say."

"In exchange for sex."

"Did he offer you fifty grand?"

"Five hundred."

He whistled. "A downgrade compared to my offer."

"It's not the offer that makes something a downgrade," she snapped. "It's the reason the offer was made in the first place!"

"I thought you said you needed money to pay off a debt."

"I thought you believed me when I said I'm not a whore, but that just proves how naive I am."

"No," he said, the corner of his lip going up. "You are not naive. I'm pushing your buttons and it's very easily done."

She breathed hard. He was right, about her buttons. She was irritated so fast, while especially now she needed to keep her cool.

"Entertaining too," he added.

The time he spoke was the time she used to compose herself.

"Did you pay off the debt?"

"Yes."

"Did you let him down easily?"

She grew nervous, but admitted that she told him: "I'd rather live on the streets and eat out of trashcans than have sex with you for 500 dollars."

"Then what happened?"

"He upgraded the deal. One grand, two grand..."

Mr Cullen nodded in approval.

"I told him he could fuck a whore or himself, but not me. He then slapped my face. I could see a bruise forming in the shape of four fingers. You know the rest."

He wasn't listening, it seemed, not anymore. He was staring at her with a scoff, and he wore a face of disgust. But when she _really_ looked, she noticed that his mind was someplace else.

"I do?" he said with a smirk, a second too late.

"I was on the news, wasn't I?"

"Ah, yes. I remember. 'Izzy Dwyer and director of Playboy magazine are into BDSM. Izzy Dwyer left Playboy magazine after not being tolerated for her potty mouth'."

My eyes were on the side, away from his.

"The truth is I was fired," I told him. "But the director didn't want people to know that. I tried to report him to the police for harassment and violence."

"Tried?"

"They told me to not speak lies. I could get arrested for that. I told them I wasn't lying and for that I spent one afternoon in jail."

"Corrupted police."

She nodded.

"Now you're here."

She nodded again.

"You do understand I cannot help you nor must you believe I'm helping you by offering you a job?"

"What?"

"The CC is a big company, bigger than Playboy and certainly bigger than you. I can't have a scandal in my company."

She got to her feet.

"I'm answering _all_ your questions truthfully and you're passing _all_ my questions with little regard and for what? You just wanted to find out about the scandal that is Izzy Dwyer? Fine, now you do. As I've said before, I shall say it again: I'd rather live on the streets and eat out of trashcans than have sex with you or work for you, for that matter."

"If you're waiting for the slap, you can wait an eternity. I am not violent."

"I beg to differ, Mr Cullen. You are more violent than the director of Playboy magazine."

"How so?"

"You offered me a fake job, right before you sexually harassed me."

"The job is there. The job is not fake. The job is yours. Starting tomorrow. I shall have the secretary e-mail you all the details."

She stared at him, waiting for the jump, the laugh, the words, _'just kidding! Now get off my property'._

It didn't come.

"I can't help with your problems, is what I'm saying. The world thinks you're a whore, a BDMS lover, a potty mouth, a scandal of the Playboy magazine."

Among other things.

"That is how it will remain for you," he said with a shrug.

She pressed her lips on each other and nodded.

"I'm not helping you. Do you see that now?"

"Yes."

He surely wasn't helping her. He was taunting her.

"I need your ID and bank account card to copy them."

She pulled out her wallet and gave him both requested items. Some part in her rejoiced for having found a job.

He left her in the office for several minutes and she eventually wandered to the window to stare outside.

Everything seemed so small from up here.

She felt very small being here.

The door opened and shut. She didn't miss the closing of the door...even though there couldn't possibly be anything else he had to say to her.

She turned hastily and saw his eyes on her as he reached toward her. He glanced out the window too.

"Twenty-one," he said.

"Yes."

 _Her age._

"And you're forty?" she stated.

It was a low blow - especially because she already knew that he was twenty-nine, but she had resorted to low ones.

"Fifty-six, actually. Thank you for flattering me."

"You're old."

"I remember you calling me handsome, attractive."

She did call him that.

She tried to save herself by saying, "In a predatory way."

At the exact same moment, he said, "You almost came when you called me handsome, attractive."

She gasped. The way he looked at her unnerved her. She planned to tell him to not sexually harass her. She wanted to... just grab his shoulders and shake him until he acted human.

Good thing her brain was faster than her mouth. She found a better way to respond.

First, she hummed and smiled at him. "Almost, indeed," she repeated deliberately slowly. "While for you it's been countless orgasms, easily induced, merely with a picture from a dirty magazine, screaming out the name Izzy and so desperately trying to convince the grey mouse with _fifty_ grand-"

He stepped closer to her and despite her want to continue, she abruptly stopped.

She knew that she pushed his buttons very hard, perhaps harder than he pushed hers.

"Have a good day, Mr Cullen."

"Don't forget to call me, Izzy."

"Why?"

"Whenever you're in need of a raise."

"Right," she said, nodding. "Right."

She rolled her eyes.

"Do you want my number?" he continued.

"Do you want my knee between your legs?"

"Will you be rubbing your knee between my legs sensually?"

She yanked her ID and bank account card from his hand and stumbled away from him. She grabbed her bag from the ground and went straight for the door.

"Pass," she snapped. "To _all_ your disgusting questions I say pass."

"Just because you have the job, doesn't mean I can't fire you without a moment hesitation. Answer the question."

She should've told him that nothing about her knee between his legs would be sensual. It would be nut-cracking, earning an ear-piercing scream from Mr Cullen.

"Fire me," she said instead. "I dare you."

To think that before she entered this building she thought of the CC as brilliant was ridiculous. Probably the founder, Carlisle Cullen, was just as bad as his son.

He was smirking at her from across the room.

"Go fuck yourself," she said, repeating the words she once told the director of Playboy magazine. "Or a whore. Not me."

She left the building, possibly still unemployed.


	3. Chapter 2: The janitor

**A/N:** The response to this story is amazing, thanks for that! I wish to you all an amazing New Year!

* * *

 _Chapter 2 - The janitor_

She walked the forty blocks distance that was between the CC and her apartment. It was at least a thirty-minute walk, but it was free, and that's all Bella could afford.

At home, she opened her laptop and impatiently waited for an e-mail.

Noon drove her to madness.

She took a book and started reading it.

After only two pages she found herself doing regrettable things. Her laptop was filled with photos of Edward Cullen. She went to a page that held information about his life.

 _Date of birth June 20, 1988._ _Born in Washington._ _Two brothers, Emmett and Jasper. Father, Carlisle. Mother, Esme. Harvard graduate from economy, business and public policy._

She roamed her eyes, not seeing much that was worth reading.

 _Single_.

That word was on several websites.

 _Edward Cullen is single._

Of course he was, with the way he treated women.

Of course he wasn't, with the way he had captured Bella Swan, body and mind.

 _Dammit_ _!_

She clicked the websites away and did something much more productive. She searched for a job.

The problem was that she'd been through all creative writing adds. She had her undergraduate, she wasn't uneducated, yet her stained name was plenty of reason for plenty of companies to decline her.

All companies except the CC. And what did he offer? A job as a janitor.

She downgraded herself to all cleaning ads and found thousands of options. She sent them e-mails with her resumé, one by one. E-mailing was free, as opposed to making a phone call. That's why she made it a habit to never turn her phone off. That way she'd never miss a phone call.

She ate a quick late lunch and sent out more e-mails.

She made dinner and continued until eight. She fell on the couch in exhaustion and turned on her television. Her mind wandered to the CC, the awkward conversation. It felt like it had happened a long time ago, while it had only been this morning.

As exhausted as she was, she needed to get some fresh air. She made a cup of tea and went to sit on the front steps of the main entrance. The stairs were a little damp, but the streets were quiet, which made it easier for her to evaluate her day.

It started quietly and cosy, with breakfast cereal and a book. Around nine she took a shower, dressed herself suitably for the CC interview, dried her hair and started her thirty-minute walk. During the walk she thought of all the things she would say.

 _"I'm a straight A undergraduate in creative writing."_

 _"My stories are in depth and are easily read by the public."_

 _"Among all essays from my class, mine were the best."_

 _"I can write most anything. Drama, theatre plays, and children's books are my favourites."_

 _"Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality, as Lewis Carroll taught us."_

In all those moments did she not once ponder that Mr Cullen was a smug, arrogant, loathsome prick and would say those horrible things to her!

Of course, she could have seen it coming. She certain didn't expect the grand CC to be like the other companies she went to for an interview. Some of them only invited her on an interview merely to catch a glimpse of the Playboy magazine ex-model. They never intended to give her the position. It was perhaps crueller than what Mr Cullen did.

Still, she'd been naive into believing the CC would be any different. She should have never gone on that interview. Most importantly, she should have left as soon as he made that comment about her body on his desk. She should have at least slapped him.

 _Without any warning, her head snapped to the right forcefully. Tears pricked her eyes from the stinging pain that was all over her left cheek. What she felt most in that moment was the intense shock of a man who just slapped her for her refusal to sleep with him._

 _Both her hands reached her left cheek tenderly._

 _The anger in his eyes was new, and frightened her._

 _"I'm leaving," she said in determination._

 _Ashamed she only wore a push-up bra and a thong, she grabbed a silky white robe and threw it over her body. She had tears in her eyes and hurried away from his office and violence._

 _She went for the bathroom and threw water on her face. It was the only way she could think of to make herself representative._

 _Unfortunately, the camera's caught her face and spread it over the internet, with the notion that Playboy model Izzy Dwyer had made a move on the director of Playboy magazine. That she'd begged him to tie her, to gag her, the hurt her, because pain was her pleasure. The headlines read 'Izzy Dwyer: the submissive model'. The bruise on her cheek was proof of her BDSM nature._

It'd been several months ago, that day her reputation was crashed on the foundation of lies. Thinking about it still hurt, but it reminded her of something. Despite her yearning to want to slap Mr Cullen, she would never do it. She wouldn't stoop that low, as the director of Playboy magazine had done. She would never use violence, because it wouldn't bring her any pleasure or satisfaction.

She finished her tea and stood on her feet.

It was very brief and from the corner of her eye, but she surely wasn't mistaken.

A flash, the same one when a digital camera took a picture, froze her in her spot.

She looked over the streets, her eyes narrow. As before, the streets were quiet. Her eyes roamed the cars. There was nobody there.

With the past fresh in her mind she concluded that it was nothing but inside her head or just the flickering of the street lights.

 _Besides_ , it was month since the last time people tried to catch a glimpse of her.

She stepped back inside and froze upon seeing her laptop. It indicated she had a new e-mail. She walked to it uncertainly, for it was odd if the CC decided to send her the e-mail at this time a day.

It was probably an ad, or one of the cleaning companies declining her before they even met her.

Better yet, it probably was the cleaning companies inviting her for an interview.

" _T_ _o stab me in my back with fake interviews_ ," she snapped.

She opened her e-mail and stared at it. Odd or not, it was from the CC.

 _Dear Miss Swan,_

 _As discussed in our interview, here is an overview of the main points._ _Your work day starts tomorrow at 7.30 am until 17.30 pm. You are excepted 15 minutes before your shift starts. Miss Lauren Mallory is the head of the staff. She will walk you through the day, hand you your clothes, key card and badge._

 _Your salary details and contract can be found in the appendix. It still needs signing; this can be done digitally by clicking on the following link. Make sure to do this before your workday starts._

 _Your salary can be discussed at any moment of the day, as you are aware of._

 _Welcome to the Cullen's Company. We hope your time will be pleasurable._

 _Yours respectfully,_

 _Edward Cullen  
_ _The Cullen's Company  
_ _Department of financial services_

 _Everything_ about this e-mail was _wrong, wrong, wrong..._ She saw sexual innuendo's, she noticed sexual harassment, she felt his mock.

She took hold of her laptop and stopped herself in time from shaking it uncontrollable.

"Your salary can be discussed at any moment of the day? Pleasurable time? Rude, arrogant, prick! Asshole!"

This was obviously a game. She could see it now. He'd been waiting to send her this e-mail on purpose. He'd waiting to see if she would cave in, waiting to see if she would call or e-mail first to see whether she still had the job or was fired before it had even begun.

He probably typed the e-mail this afternoon and only just now decided to send it to her because he heard nothing from her.

And by reminding her of the sexual harassment, he'd been able to arise another set of emotion from inside her.

She wanted to send an angry e-mail back, to quit and to report him.

But anger would fade away.

Her parent's loan was paid, but her student loan was choking her.

Quitting wouldn't lead to a salary.

And reporting him would probably backfire and cause another afternoon in jail.

She felt defeated for clicking the link open and signing it digitally, making her contract legally binding.

At least she had a job. That's what she kept reminding herself.

Despite her deep irritation for Mr Cullen for the way he treated her, she indeed noticed two slips.

Perhaps he knew this too and perhaps he didn't, but by sending her the e-mail, let it be at ten p.m., he showed her that he wanted her to work for him. If she were just a number, a person that was replaceable, he would have let her walk away after she dared him to fire her. She certainly made it clear what she thought of him, and yet he was not offended enough to retreat his offer.

"For whatever fucked up reason," she said out loud. "He's giving me a job."

That was the first slip...

As for the second slip, he told her during the interview that the secretary would e-mail her the details. Instead he'd taken the time to send her the e-mail himself.

"Now why would he spend his precious time doing secretary work?" she muttered.

It felt like she was trying to solve a complex puzzle, but the complexity of the puzzle was only an illumination.

In fact, it was a very easy puzzle to solve.

"The CEO makes it no secret he wants the janitor..."

The answer was wrong on many dimensions.

"I should quit," she muttered. "I should quit right now."

It could not end well.

Her eyes roamed Mr Cullen's email and she shook her head to herself.

One mustn't throw away old shoes before they have new ones.

She would accept the first next job she was handed, but until then she would work for the CC.

She found herself typing after hitting reply.

 _Dear Mr Cullen,_

 _I would like to express my greatest gratitude for this amazing opportunity to work for the CC._

 _As for discussing my salary, I see no point in doing that, as you are aware of. Your offer was not much to tempt me into accepting. Were you to raise your offer by even a sextuple it still wouldn't tempt me into accepting. I would appreciate it if we could leave the matter in the past._

 _Yours faithfully,_

 _Isabella Swan  
The janitor_

It wasn't a big blow. It was rather low, and not even that special. He was probably reading it right now, thinking the same.

She slept like a baby, because despite it all, she finally had a job.


	4. Chapter 3: First day

**A/N:** Thank you for reading and responding. I'm flattered. Best wishes for 2018.

* * *

 _Chapter_ _3 - First day_

It might be odd for some to hear that Bella didn't like to be the centre of attention. Isn't that what modelling is all about? Then again, not many people knew that back then she was in dire need of money and modelling was the quick and easy way to access money.

Upon arrival, she was led to the room where the cleaning staff could keep their personal items. She placed her hand bag on the table next to all the other ones. Lauren Mallory gave Bella a brief explanation; dusting, cleaning, scrubbing. Between 7.30 a.m. and 9.00 a.m. they would go through all the offices and clean the desks, empty the bins. She was shocked to see each office had a small bathroom, with a shower. _'Because they sometimes sleep here,'_ Lauren explained reluctantly upon Bella's inquiry.

It was not that hard to tell that the cleaning staff had taken in instant dislike against her.

They had to finish at 9.00 a.m. that was the moment the workday started, and the offices would be clean for the day. It took them an hour to take away the supplies and throw away the trash. By 10.00 they had an awkward coffee break.

Bella only drank tea and found herself being suffocated in the room. Especially when she noticed Mr Cullen heading to the automatic drinking machine, she dashed upstairs with her tea, and hoped the roof was accessible for all employees.

She tried her key card, but the lock didn't open. She tried it several times until a voice from behind had her gasping out loud.

"How's it going?"

She turned at the unfamiliar voice.

"Uhm..."

He was from security, in a black suit. He wore a smile. It was the first one she received since weeks.

"Yeah, this is my first day here," she said awkwardly. "I thought I might go get some fresh air."

"Coffee break?" he said with a nod to her cup.

"Tea," she said, her head nodding for no apparent reason.

"I'll have your card fixed before noon," he said. "The roof is accessible to all employees."

He leaned over and used his card to unlock the door.

"Thank you," she said sincerely.

He followed her up with his own cup in hand.

"I'm Emmett," he said as I took his massive hand in a handshake. "Emmett Cullen, from security."

She literally felt her face fall.

"Cullen?" she repeated.

He nodded and released her hand. He stared at her for a moment, then said, "And you are?"

Some wave of anger hit her, caused by Mr _Edward_ Cullen and she felt the need to respond in ways such as 'Don't pretend you don't know about my reputation'.

But his eyes were soft. As opposed to his brother, he hadn't done a thing to make her think bad of him.

"Isabella Swan," she said. "Look..."

She gathered some courage to look him straight in the eye.

"You needn't... I mean, come on. God, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. My apologies, Mr Cullen."

"First of all, Mr Cullen is my dad. Mr Cullen is my brother. Call me Emmett. Second... I've seen you on the news. But that doesn't mean I believe it."

"What?"

"I've seen the pictures. If they can edit you that _much_ how am I supposed to believe the headlines?"

"Thanks a lot," she muttered, glancing over the horizon. "Your brother already mentioned the editing and I really needn't hear it again. I just came here for work, okay?"

He looked shocked and protested instantly.

"I meant it in a good way; if they can change you, who's to say they can't change the reality? I certainly don't know how Edward meant it. Did he say something to you?"

"Uhm... Like what?"

"Anything," he said. "Anything unacceptable."

"What would you do about it? You're security, not my body guard."

"I'm security for _all_ employees, including you."

"Are you going to secure me from your brother?" she said teasingly.

"If necessary."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"You should know that I don't think badly of you, Miss Swan. Not badly at all."

He held out his hand again.

"Friends?"

She looked at his hand sceptically.

"Alright," she said.

It might be fun, having the brother as a friend.

She took his hand long enough to say, "My friends call me Bella."

"And keep in mind to call me Emmett," he said. "I shudder when people call me Mr Cullen."

They both took a sip from their drinks, but something was still nagging Bella.

"We can't be on first name bases on the floor."

"Sure we can."

"But... It isn't professional."

He's security and she's the janitor.

"Trust me, it's fine."

"I should head back. The staff doesn't like me and I'm not even sure this break is supposed to last."

"It been only ten minutes now. You're safe."

She sighed in relief and headed back.

"You'll fix my card?" she said to remind him.

"I have some spare time now."

He held out his hand and she gave it to him.

"Great," she said, smiling. "Thanks. See ya."

She headed back to the coffee room and noticed it was empty. She roamed the halls and searched for Lauren.

How was it she could lose the cleaning staff on her first work day?

She randomly started glancing inside rooms which had their doors open, hoping to find them in there.

This floor was immense. She hated to admit that she was lost on this twenty-fifth floor that should come with a map for all employees.

People around her walked about, laughed, made phone calls and worked so fast. For Bella, everything moved in slow motion.

Asking directions seemed silly. She would simply walk through the hallways until eventually she found the other girls.

"Bella!"

She jumped at the loud voice and many turned their head at the source.

She turned back to see Emmett walked to her with her card in his hand.

"Fixed it," he said. He leaned over and whispered, "They're on the east wing."

"I didn't know there's an east wing," she muttered back.

He pointed her all wings and even showed her small sign that could help her to remember.

"Thanks," she whispered back and turned to walk as fast as she could to the east wing.

Upon her hurry and slight panic, she noticed one thing from the corner of her eye.

It was Mr Cullen, staring at Bella and Emmett, with darkness in his eyes.

She should've kept walking, but she did the opposite. She halted abruptly and waited.

He looked at her for only a second and made his way toward her. She braced herself.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning."

"Everything good?"

His eyes went to Emmett and Bella cringed when Emmett winked at her.

"All is well," she replied. "You?"

"You've met Emmett."

"Briefly."

He watched her lazily.

"Is that okay?"

He scoffed first, but next she was surprised to see an amused smile on his face - it was the first smile he gave her.

"You're asking me if it's okay for you to hang out with Emmett?"

Realizing how stupid it sounded, she looked away.

"Is that a nickname or something?"

"What?"

"Bella."

She blinked several times and shook her head. "Sort of... It's what my friends call me."

"You and Emmett are friends?"

That stare hit her right in her core, each time he looked at her like that.

"Of the sort," she said awkwardly.

"And what are we?"

"You're the boss. I'm-"

He nodded and said, "The janitor, yes. I gathered that from your e-mail."

She remembered as well:

 _Bella Swan  
_ _The janitor_

"There's your answer then."

She hoped it sounded conclusive, but he remained rooted in his spot.

"You can be friends with Emmett. But not with me?"

"I don't recall you asking me anything of the sort. I remember other stuff. None that-"

"Would tempt you, yes," he finished again. "I remember the contents of your e-mail, _Bella_."

She couldn't help a smile, because he called her Bella.

"Is that your way of asking me if we can be friends? If so, the answer is no."

He raised an eyebrow. She stepped away from him.

"I only stopped to see if there's anything you need before I get back to work," she said with a nervous swallow.

"None for now," he said softly. "Good day, Miss Swan."

That ended their brief and hopefully only encounter of the day.

But not hers and Emmett's, because they ate lunch on the rooftop.

"How's work going?" he asked.

"It's... work."

"I'm not your boss and even if I was, I'm not one to judge a person for their opinion. Tell me."

"Fine! Lauren gossips about _everything_. Tiffany giggles each time she sees me. Britney does about ten percent of the work she should be doing. Kirsten has a cigarette break every hour. Kerley complains. Keeley-"

"I see you've made friends."

"The worst part of it all is the _complaining_ about how tired they are and it's only Wednesday!"

Bella rolled her eyes and bit her sandwich.

"How's security?" she asked.

"We're going out for a drink tonight. Join us."

"Oh, please, don't feel-"

"I insist," he said. "Besides, haven't you noticed?"

"What?"

"I don't gossip, giggle, do ten percent of my work, smoke or complain."

Bella nodded and said, "You certainly don't."

"Life is much more pleasant with a few friendly colleagues," he remarked.

"Fine," Bella said.

"It's a date."

Bella froze.

Emmett laughed.

"Relax," he said. "I'm married. I'm thirty-six. And you're fun to mess with."

"Jerk," she said with slightly warm cheeks. "I almost feared I had to reject a _grandpa_."

"Excuse me?" he said in mock anger.

Lunch break was bittersweet, for she had to head back to the nagging girls.

It was easier to do her work when she the security regarded her as her friend. Not just Emmett. She also met Quil Ateara, Sam Uley, Embry Call, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, but her favourites were Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater (to prevent confusion, Leah refrained from changing her name to Leah Black), for they were the sweetest married couple she ever laid eyes on.

They made one thing clear and that was to stick to first name bases.

She still had to get used to it, but if it's what they preferred, she would grant them their wishes.

At 16.30 p.m. sharp the ladies planned to leave.

"Can you finish up?" Lauren asked Bella.

"Sure?"

As soon as she uttered the words, somewhat uncertainly, the girls headed back home, and Bella was left to wonder...

 _What needs finishing up?_

And... she was certain Mr Cullen e-mailed her that her day would finish at 17.30 p.m. Were they not leaving an hour early?

She did her best, by placing all used items back in the correct places.

Emmett appeared by her side.

"You're not finished yet?"

She was surprised this task alone cost her over half an hour. She was exhausted and ready to go home instead of a pub.

"Oh, I lost track of time. Honestly, I'm-"

"Great! Unfortunately, my car is jammed."

 _Oh, God._

 _This was not heading the direction she was certain it was heading._

"Emmett, I'm pretty-"

"Don't worry."

 _No, no, no, no..._

"You can catch a ride with Edward."

She was going to be sick.

"He almost finished working. I'll see you at the pub!"

He vanished, and Bella was left to stare at an empty hallway.

She started searching for Mr Cullen with drooping eyelids. She found him at the copying machine.

"Just fucking work with me."

"Hey," Bella said, staring at his frustrated face. "I came to cancel tonight."

His finger pressed the touchscreen uncontrollably. The error was one Bella was familiar with. She bent over the machine and took hold off the power plug and unplugged it. She pressed it back in and glanced at the touchscreen. It was restarting.

"It will work again in a moment."

He shook his head.

"See? There's your file."

And to make a point, she pressed the screen and his file started printing.

"Clever."

She looked up at him and wondered if he was complimenting her or mocking her. Coming from Mr Cullen it was most likely mock.

"Thank you for wanting the give me a ride to the pub, but I'm heading home."

He grabbed the printed papers and gave her a nod.

"Sure. Do you need a ride home?"

Given the fact that they were having some form of conversation and he was walking _away_ from her, she followed him.

"No. Have fun tonight. I was just wondering. My shift ends at 17.30 but the staff went home and I'm not certain what remains to be done."

"Your shift ends at 16.30."

"No, it doesn't."

"Are we arguing about what time your shift ends?"

"Yesterday you mentioned ten-hour shifts. Also, you said 17.30 in your e-mail."

"I think I mistyped."

They reached his office and she waited by the door as he placed the papers on his desk and grabbed his jacket.

"You think you mistyped?" she repeated deadly.

"It was late."

Honestly, all she wanted to do was shake him until he turned decent.

She turned on her heels to get her handbag and leave.

Unfortunately, they met again at the elevator.

"Did you drive here?" he asked.

 _Small talk._

 _Great._

"No."

"Is somebody picking you up?"

If that's his way of figuring out whether she had a boyfriend, it was very done poorly.

"No."

"You need a ride, then."

 _Ping!_

Was it too late to take the stairs instead?

She could pretend she forgot something, so he'd go and she'd be rid of him.

Her legs moved against her will and she found herself and her boss in a small box.

Before the elevator had even descended one floor, he stepped pressed the red button. The one that said, _o_ _nly press in case of an alarm._

She looked at his hand, the sign, the letters.

"Is there an alarm?" she asked painfully slow.

"How do you do it?" he asked.

"What?"

"The talks, the whispers, the rumours, the bullshit. _Especially_ the bullshit. Everybody's been talking about you. And it's not the kind of talk that's complimentary."

"You stopped an elevator, because you're curious how I cope?"

"You can't pretend it doesn't get to you."

"I'm not."

"How do you do it?" he repeated.

"I was deprived of my privacy, my looks, food, you name it, the minute I stepped into Playboy world and the moment I stepped out. That's when the paparazzi stalked me, when the lies spread, when my reputation smashed and my chance of ever getting the job that I deserve stolen. I hear the talks, but I also don't. Why should I waste time listening to bullshit? Besides, I'm not _pretending_ that it doesn't get to me, because there's no need in pretending when it doesn't get to me to begin with."

He watched her as if he wasn't sure if he could believe her.

She instead stepped forward and pressed the red button to get the elevator to start moving again.

"Besides, the security likes me. That's more than I could have hoped for."

The elevator ride was a long one, but Bella was happy when it stopped on several occasions to allow people in.

The happiness was gone as soon as the whispers began.

 _"Oh my God. Check it out. Behind you."_

 _"It's that whore!"_

Ping!

 _"The whore from Playboy! In the CC."_

 _"It's a joke, right?"_

Ping!

The problem was that all day Bella could easily mask out the whispers by just not listening. But this small box that was the elevator didn't allow her to block them out.

She heard them, loud and clear.

"What's your favourite?" Mr Cullen asked.

The elevator grew silent all at once. Bella had to make sure he was speaking to her before replying, "What?"

"Favourite food?" he said as if it was obvious.

"What?"

She knew she should ask a different question beside _what?_ and put in a bit more effort, but she was dumbfounded by the conversation.

It appeared out of thin air.

"I'll surprise you with my favourite then."

Perhaps a _what?_ would've sufficed. She found herself unable to even say that word.

It sounded a lot like he was insinuating they were heading toward a date.

She was very certain that he never asked her on a date and she never agreed to a date. Thus, it would be illogical for him to dive into such questions about favourite foods.

"You made a good impression on the twenty-fifth, Bella. Keep it up, and you'll be CEO before you know it."

Her lips parted, and she was probably more confused than all those people in the elevator put together.

The doors opened when they reached the first floor. He led her outside, to his car, until she stood before him, while he held the door open.

"What was that?" she asked, pointing at the CC. "And what's this?" She pointed at him holding the door open.

"Give them something _juicier_ to talk about?" he said with a shrug. "And this is me offering you a ride home."

"Oh no," she said instantly. "Giving them something _juicier_ to talk about is absolutely not helpful. Being called the whore of Playboy magazine is not that bad compared to being called the slut that's screwing the boss."

"I thought you said you don't waste time listening to bullshit?"

She opened her mouth.

"And that it doesn't get to you."

"That doesn't mean... Just stop it! Yesterday you said that you can't help me with my problems, but I never thought... I never thought you'd find a way to take my reputation even lower. The funny thing is that I probably should have seen it coming."

"Really?"

"I gotta go."

"I'll give you Saturdays off if you accept my offer to drive you home."

She crossed her arms, contemplating the deal.

A _whole_ day off for the same salary was amazing.

There was no logical reason for him to offer her something so generous.

"Plus, a ten percent pay raise."

Of course this was a lie. He knew she was poor, needy, but that didn't give him the right to mock her in her face.

"If I'm just a joke to you-"

"I'll send you the confirmation by e-mail within five minutes, right before I drive you home."

"What's the catch?"

"There isn't one," he said with a shake of the head. "Get in the car, allow me to send you the conformation, and I'll drive you home."

Her wall crumbled a little, and she stepped in the car.

He shut the door.

If he gave her Saturdays off _and_ a ten percent raise, she would cry of happiness tonight.

As he started working on his phone, she looked at the parking street. There were still plenty of people heading to their car or finishing up their conversations on the street.

"I sent you an e-mail."

"Show me," she said, looking at his phone.

The e-mail was sent to her and it contained the deal he just made.

 _You'll be working Monday to Friday, from 7.30 a.m. to 16.30 a.m. You're of work on the weekends. You're salary is 10% above minimum. These terms apply effective and immediately._

"Is this legal?"

"Yes."

She thought for a moment, and nodded.

"If you're lying, I'll-"

"I promise I'm not lying. It's a done deal."

He started the car and left the parking space.

"Take a left here," she muttered.

It was rather quiet in the car, in which Bella found herself laughing.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, but it's funny. You're funny."

"Aha. That explains why you're laughing."

"Seriously, what's up with the raise and the change of six days to five days work a week? And the _mistype_ of 17.30 p. I'm certain at least _that_ was a lie."

He hummed.

"Come on, this is _almost_ human. Working five days a week, from 7.30 till 16.30 for more than minimum wage is great. And the change occurred because of this."

She waved around at him and the car.

"Because I accepted your offer. Oh, you were supposed to take a right. Take a right on the next street and just stop there."

" _Almost_ human?" he repeated.

"You're pretty decent," she said hesitantly. "Maybe I was wrong about you."

"Good news spreads like fire," he said. "In the elevator everyone thought we're off on a date. As curious as the human nature is, they were all still peeking at us. You were about to walk away from my car, even if I was the gentleman holding a door open for you."

She said it again. "What...?"

"My dear Izzy. I'm not going to get _dumped_ before a date even started. So honestly-"

"You deceitful, horrible shithead!" she snapped in rage, because she knew exactly what his so called generous offer was all about.

"-you did me the favour by stepping into my car and allowing my image to remain intact. If they are letting their imaginations run wild and free, why not just go up to your room and give them something to _really_ talk-"

She clicked the seat belt open and hopped ungracefully out of the moving vehicle. In the process, she stumbled face flat and rolled twice until coming to a stop.

His car came to a screeching halt and she heard the door open.

"Christ! Watch out! What's your problem?"

"You!" she snapped, getting on her feet. "I quit!"

"Sure you do!" he said when he came to stand before her.

She slapped his face out of anger. It was ironic, seeing that last night she told herself she would never slap him. Here she found herself doing precisely the opposite.

For a moment she feared he would hurt her back.

Something else caught her attention, something much more important.

Just like last night, it was a flash. This time she was certain that it was a camera, which meant last night someone - perhaps the same person, took a picture of her just like now.

She tried to cover her face with her hair.

It would never end for Bella. Even her simple job as a janitor was going to be terrorized by Playboy.

"What was that?" Mr Cullen asked.

She was surprised he even noticed the flash. It had been very subtle, but to Bella's trained eye it was noticeable.

"It's Playboy magazine," she answered defeatedly. "It's the paparazzi, the stalkers, the ones who have brought me down."

He turned his eyes to her, a slight shade darker now.

"Be careful, Mr Cullen. They might do the same to you."

She went home while he was left there on his own to ponder the meaning of her words.


	5. Chapter 4: Tears

**A/N:** Thanks for the love!

I'm sorry to say that the next update won't be till February. My January schedule has me in a chokehold.

As you read this, remember Kingsmen: Golden Circle - "No time for emotion"

* * *

 _Chapter_ _3 - Tears_

Indeed she cried, but not of happiness for having Saturdays off and a ten percent pay raise. If only she watched her back more, this would have never happened. How would she ever be able to show her face at the CC again?

Tears streamed down as she washed her hands under icy water for an endless amount of time.

During her jump out of the car, she was filled with adrenaline. It was only now that she felt a burning pain. The left side of her left hand was scratched badly and dirt laid deeply in her skin. The palm of her right hand also caught some of the fall with a strange cut that didn't even bleed. It did hurt, though. She kept washing her hands with soap until most of the dirt was out.

All the time, she was curing Mr Cullen, the CC and the paparazzi.

With six band-aids she covered the wounds.

The minutes ticked by, and the hours brought complete darkness. She didn't bother turning on the lights.

He lied straight in her face when she asked him what the catch is.

She was deeply embarrassed for telling him that he's pretty decent - he was the son of the devil. That arrogant way he said _'sure you do',_ upon her quitting. It seemed like he already knew her well enough that she wouldn't quit because of him.

The night was long and lonely. Bella yearned someone to talk with, but there wasn't anybody. The friends she once had turned out to be not that great friends.

She remembered the flashed clearly. Somebody caught her one camera twice.

She had about enough of the past haunting her and trying to push her off the edge, which was about to last thing she possessed.

There was only one thing she could do.

She started typing an e-mail. It was nearly five a.m. when the e-mail was sent.

 _Dear Mr. Cullen._

 _I won't make it at work by 7.30 a.m. which I hope won't cause any trouble. I hope to be at work by noon._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Isabella Swan_

She laid back on her couch and felt her heart jump upon a notification sound from her laptop.

 _Nobody_ sent e-mails at night.

Nobody except her.

She sat up and concluded, nobody except her and her boss.

 _Dear Miss Swan,_

 _How come?_

 _Edward Cullen  
The Cullen's Company  
Department of financial services_

For a long time, she just stared.

 _Dear Mr. Cullen._

 _Personal business._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Isabella Swan_

She was prepared for harassment, or mock as to her quitting her job.

 _Dear Miss Swan,_

 _I wish you the best of luck. Take the time you need._

 _Edward Cullen  
The Cullen's Company  
Department of financial services_

"Personality nine," she said into the dark room. "That's the person who sent this mail."

Because there was no possible way for Mr Cullen to wish her luck and hand her time.

Her mind was exhausted and not even sleep would fix it. Instead she took a hot shower for a very long time.

She found herself in an overcrowded bus for nearly an hour until she arrived at the most dreadful place in the world.

Her former boss' workplace.

She remained casual, as she stepped inside and went straight to her old boss' office. The secretary shouting at her to wait, people around her whispered, but Bella didn't come here for doing this _his_ way. She opened the door and found him by his desk - a skinny blonde girl with a young nineteen-year old's face turned into an adult one. If Bella stepped a few minutes later into this room, she would've found live porn.

"Oh, Aro..." the blonde girl shrieked in surprise.

"Leave," Bella snapped at the girl.

" _Excuse_ me?"

"It's okay, Celestine," Mr Volturi said with dark eyes. "I shall fetch you later."

Bella stared at her enemy, long after the door behind her shut.

"Long time, no see. How is life, Izzy?"

"Why have you sent your people to photograph me?"

"Have I? I don't recall doing such a thing."

"Oh, I'm certain that you do. You did it before, months ago upon my resignation. Now you're doing it again."

"Izzy-"

"Izzy died the moment you assaulted me. I'm asking you why yesterday and the day before I was photographed by your people."

Mr Volturi stepped forward. Sshe kept her face cool upon his closer proximity.

"I can almost smell your fear," he said, his eyes showing pleasure.

" _Almost_ , because the fear isn't present."

"Always the clever one."

"Do not evade the question."

"Whatever it is you think you've seen... it wasn't me. You're nothing, a waste, dirt."

Without any warning, he hit her face backhanded and smacked her body against the door. One of his hands crushed her neck and the other clamped her mouth.

She couldn't breathe.

Her body struggled fruitlessly.

A cry for help remained only a thought. Not a sound could escape her mouth.

"You ever step into this building again, and I shall become your worst nightmare. And you can tell anyone whatever you want, because nobody will believe you."

Finally, the pressure loosened. Bella tumbled over, choked and gasped as fresh entered her lungs.

Her hand held her neck in fear he might do it again.

"Leave now. Don't come back."

Still gasping, she reached the door handle and bolted.

It was only when she ran down the stairs that a few tears forced its way out.

Back in the bus, she thought of the progress she made from going to the director of Playboy magazine.

 _None_ was the correct amount.

Her boss lied to her.

Her former boss lied to her.

Everybody lied.

She felt the heath in her cheek, and used her cold fingers to cool it. Her neck was soar. His fingers had been powerful. The way he struck her face was much more painful than the slap a few months ago.

Tears wanted to fall, but this wasn't the time or place for them. She told Mr Cullen noon, so she would make it at work by noon.

Occasionally, she thought she noticed a flash - she must be getting paranoid.

If only there was an explanation for Mr Volturi's lies.

As she stepped into the CC, she kept her eyes low and tuned out so she wouldn't hear the rumor. She headed straight to the bathroom.

She needed to pull herself together, soon.

During her photo shoots in Playboy magazine, she often was forced to turn her feelings off. She could do it once again.

Her reflection showed an ugly spot on her face. Her neck had bruised, but not much. She took most of her hair and cast it over her left shoulder. She used a clip to hide a part of her left cheek. The other strands hid her neck.

There, she was as good as new.

In the elevator, she stared at everyone who stepped in with no shame. If they stared, she would do the same.

The clock read 11.30, which was perfect. She didn't miss her own deadline. Mr Cullen couldn't be mad at her.

Jacob and Seth greeted her cheerfully. She only nodded.

She went straight to the cleaning staff's room, dropped her bag there and put on the dark blue blouse over her shirt.

The cleaning staff was on the west wing. Her shift started strangely, as they seemed to not notice she was late.

Perhaps they didn't care. They sent her to the kitchen to clean up plates and cups. It was somebody's birthday, which meant a lot of cake and even more dirty dishes. She was alone in the kitchen with dozens and dozens of plates, cups, mugs and cutlery.

The alone time she was rewarded was very nice. Her hands didn't work as quick as they should, due to her recent attempt to flee Mr Cullen's car. That didn't matter much, seeing that she was doing most of the work anyway. Not one person from the cleaning staff offered their help to Bella. She was certain they were somewhere now, gossiping and complaining.

The hoard of voices entering the room caught her of guard. She quickly put the last few clean plates back in place and hurried out of the room.

In the hallway, as she was walking with her face down, a few whispers started.

As usual, she ignored it.

Hours passed. She didn't take a break. She couldn't afford being around people.

A soft _'hey'_ escaped her lips as Emmett greeted her happily. She wasn't sure he noticed her changed behaviour, her absence this morning and on the rooftops during breaks.

Just like yesterday, she finished up on her own.

She was in the middle of shoving different items in an overstuffed closet, when the son of the devil stopped by.

"Can I see you in my office?"

"Busy."

"I can wait."

Can you wait until the day you die?

She jammed a bucket in and quickly shut the door to prevent everything from falling out.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"In fact, no."

"I'm ending your shift now. Come."

She turned to look at him and was surprised to see how tired he looked. He did send her an e-mail in the middle of the night, which made him a morning person or simply someone who didn't sleep much last night.

"One reason," she said. "Give me one reason why I should."

"Tetanus. Playboy. Death. You said one. I gave you three. Did you notice my generosity?"

 _Nothing_ about him spoke generosity. It seemed like it, but there was always a catch. The wounds on her hands taught her that the hard way.

There was a different thing that brought back the confusion she felt last night in the elevator.

 _Tetanus, playboy and death._

"I have no idea what those three so called reasons mean."

"Allow me to explain in my office."

He turned.

She followed.

She had no other choice.

She stood in the door opening.

"Explain."

"Come in first."

He took the door and closed it slowly.

She didn't want to, but stepped inside. She heard the soft click of the door shutting. He didn't unlock it.

Ironic, how that good deed didn't give him even half a point in good behaviour.

"I had a look in yesterday's incidence-"

"The one where you made a shot at my reputation, the one where you threw me out of your car-"

"The one where you said Playboy magazine made pictures of us," he said with a scoff. "I didn't _throw_ you out of my car. But I see why you've made enemies, with the way you change reality to your own liking. Another word for that is lying."

She grew infuriated, but her cheeks felt hot against his accusation as she could see his point. He didn't push her out of his car, that was a fact.

"It felt like you throwing me out of your car, with the way you were going."

He huffed and said, "I'll get to that in a minute. Playboy first."

She watched him take out his phone and glance at it quickly.

"Whoever it was last night that made those pictures, they weren't working for Playboy magazine."

This meant that Mr Cullen and Mr Volturi worked together.

In fact, she told him.

"You're friends with _Aro Volturi_?"

"Never met the man in my life."

He didn't even blink.

"It was a rhetorical question," she snapped.

"You think I'm friends with a man who abuses women?"

She opened her mouth, shocked to find herself too struck by the intensity of his eyes. It was a challenge where she found herself unsure of continuing the discussion.

"Who is it then, according to you?" she said instead.

"I don't know yet. But not Playboy."

She thought back of when he said he had three things he wanted to discuss with her. This is what he meant by wanting to discuss Playboy.

Still she was sceptical at his exclamation, even the way he said that he didn't know _yet_ , implying that he was still figuring it out.

"It's Playboy magazine," she held on steadily.

"They tell you that this morning when they were strangling you to death?"

She froze in shock.

"Who... who told you that?" she snapped defensively.

"Your bruises."

She brought her hand up unconsciously, trying to hide her cheek and neck with her hair.

What's the use if he already knew?

"You said you can't help me with my problems. This conversation is therefore pointless."

She was ready to leave.

"Your health is my concern. Especially if I endangered it."

"My health is alright."

"When was your last tetanus shot?"

There was the second point he mentioned.

"Excuse me?"

"Your hands."

He stepped forward to her towards her.

"You hurt them yesterday?"

"When you pushed me-"

"Out of my car," he finished slowly. "Yes. My apologies about that. I'll remember next time you're in my car to put it on child's lock."

 _Next time you're in my car..._

"Drop dead."

It just flew out of her mouth, unintentionally.

It seemed as if her words didn't even faze him.

"You shouldn't tie such wounds tightly," he said. "It causes infection."

" _What?_ "

"Didn't you know?"

He said it so casually and easily.

She couldn't take the risk, so she started for the bin as she started taking of all the band-aids she wrapped around her hands.

"Oh, yes. The skin underneath produces pus. The hand swells. Sometimes the skin turns black."

It hurt now that the wounds were no longer exposed to the pressure.

"Then your fingers slowly fall off. Next your hands. On some occasions, death follows."

She turned to him, wishing she had the strength to take hold of the desk and crash his body with it.

"That's a bullshit story."

"Could happen," he said with a lazy shrug.

His eyes looked at her hands.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"My ears, from all the words coming out of your mouth."

He chuckled.

"Now before you're going to make some snide, dirty comment about your mouth, I want to let you know that I'm off."

"I'm no doctor, but I know some about tetanus. You might need a shot."

She kept it in mind to Google it once she got home. She certainly wasn't planning to stick around any longer.

"Don't pretend to care about my possibility of getting tetanus," she said with a meaningless smile.

She certainly needed to Google it, a.s.a.p.

For some reason, she associated tetanus with rats and nothing else. What did her hands have to do with tetanus?

"One last thing," he said. "You look like death."

"If that's your way of charming a girl, I'd say you're doing a terrible job."

Her hand touched the doorknob.

"Take off tomorrow, that's what I'm saying. Have yourself a long weekend."

She waited for the catch.

With him, there was bound to be a catch.

He rolled his eyes, and said, "I mean it."

"I need-" she began.

"I won't withhold your pay for not working tomorrow, neither for this morning. Go, now."

 _As if_ she would go now, when he was making offers that were too good to be true.

"Why would you pay me for missed shifts?"

She feared his answer, thought of another one of his prick answers to turn around the corner.

"To redeem the wounds I inflicted on your hands."

She nodded and opened the door.

That touched her a little.

"If you need more days, let me know. This one's on me."

At last, she walked out, before he would say another thing that would change the way she thought about him.

He was finishing a few last things when Bella walked past his office to the elevator. The floor had emptied.

Downstairs, she stood outside under the rooftop. The rain was falling out of the sky in buckets. She couldn't walk home in this weather.

She paced in frustration, because all she wanted was to lie down on her couch and sleep.

Of course Mr Cullen would walk past her if she stood at the main entrance, but frankly, she didn't care.

In fact, she waited for him. She waited until she saw him walk out of those doors.

"Need a ride?"

"No."

Mr Cullen laughed a seemingly genuine one.

"It's no trouble," he said, stepping next to her with the umbrella.

"I'm sure..." she muttered. "I'll be the slut and you'll be that champ that screwed the model. Charming stories, these people gossip about."

The wind blew her hair out of her face.

She waited for a comeback, but he grew very quiet.

"What?" she said. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Did he...?"

His eyes glanced at her cheek.

She brought her hand up unconsciously. In the office he only mentioned strangling, not her cheek.

Only now did he see the bruise on her cheek. She should've been more cautious.

Her legs moved away from him, but he held her upper arm.

"Why did you visit him this morning?"

She tried to answer, but she chocked in her words.

"Come with me."

With his arm around her waist, his umbrella protecting them from the rain, he led her to his car and opened the door.

"Get in."

His orders were almost her weakness. She simply did.

But before she stepped in, she whispered, "If you put this door on child's lock, I will end you."

Once the car drove, he frequently looked at her.

"What?" she demanded.

"I'm just hoping that it was worth it."

"What?" she snapped. "You mean the strangling to death, right before he hit me? No. I left empty-handed."

He was quiet for a moment.

"What were you searching?"

"His confirmation that he's stalking me. Making those picture, you know?"

"He didn't tell, did he?"

"He did. He told me it wasn't him."

"Do you have reason not to believe him?"

"Of course. _Everything_ he says is a lie."

"Is it like him to make pictures but not yet spreading them on the news? They took the picture last night."

Now that she thought about it, it was strange of him to make pictures without using them against her. _Especially_ the one from last night, with her and Edward together by her apartment.

She didn't know.

For the remaining of time she was quiet, until he stopped the car where he stopped it last night.

"Is this it or do I need to drive a bit further?"

She cleared her throat.

"Yeah, around the corner," she muttered.

As he drove, she unbuckled her seat belt.

"About the shot," he said. "Let me have a look at your hands. It might not be necessary."

"I thought you said you're not a doctor."

"Just give me your hand."

He put on the light in the car and waited.

"Be careful," she warned.

The strange thing was he barely touched her hand, only turned it - gently. He did the same with the other.

"It's fine," he concluded.

"What were you looking for?"

"Dirt. But you seem to have washed most out."

"Is that another bullshit story?"

He laughed.

"No. A bad fall in the streets can actually cause wounds to be covered in dirt. That can lead to tetanus."

"But I'm fine?"

"Your hands are. I have some concerns with other areas of your body."

"Disgusting, heartless-"

"Your cheek and neck, is all I meant, dear."

She stopped and looked away.

 _Damn him._

"I gotta go," she muttered. "Thanks for bringing me home."

"Why do you walk? These must be _long_ walks."

Half an hour walk, to be exact.

She sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"I never really learned to drive a car, and walking is easier for me."

"How is it easier?"

For a second she thought of how much this looked like a man showing actual interest.

"It's free," she said at last. "You know, since I'm broke."

He scoffed. "You want me to buy you a car?"

She laughed. "Didn't you hear? I don't have my license."

Her laugh was a brief disguise to cover her uncomfort.

She tried to make it into a joke and said, "If you're offering to pay both driving lessons and a car, I'll say yes."

"Sure." He shrugged. "If that's what you want."

Her face fell at how serious he sounded.

"I'm just joking," she said quickly. "I mean, really. What are you trying to pull?"

"Nothing."

"Right. You're just trying to help out the poor model?"

"No, that's not-"

"Wait, you don't _help_ me. My problems are unfixable."

"You can't-"

"Somebody is probably taking pictures right now, hoping to catch something juicy between the whore and the CEO of the CC."

"Should we give it to them?"

He didn't even blink and for a moment she was caught by the look in his eyes.

The touch of his fingers against her bruised cheek brought her back to reality.

"I'd rather die."

He pulled his hand back and looked at her cheek for a little while longer.

"Be safe," he said. "Lock your door well. Call me _instantly_ if there is anything."

"You really are disgusting."

"Maybe," he said, handing her a card with his number on it. "But I'm also the reason that you might be in danger."

"Sorry?"

"You're fairly certain these people are making pictures of you. Who's to say it's not me they're after?"

The idea was ridiculous. She shook her head immediately.

"The day before yesterday they made another picture, and I was alone then," she said. "Trust me, I've been here before. It's me they're after."

He glanced away.

"Why would anyone be after you?" she said queasily.

"I don't know yet. Perhaps I'm wrong and you're right."

The idea that she might be in danger was not one Bella liked.

"What kind of danger are you talking about?" she said nervously.

"I'm hoping none," he responded. "I didn't mean to frighten you. Let me walk you to your door."

He stepped out.

She sat frozen, but her mind worked very well to tell her:

 _That son of the devil did it again._

When he opened the door for her, she stepped out with a glare in her eyes.

It was still raining, but she'd rather stand in the rain than share his umbrella again.

"Have you really stooped that low to scare me into believing _another_ bullshit story, just to get even a little closer to-"

A flash stopped her mid-sentence and she snapped her head over Mr Cullen's arm.

"What?" he said.

"They just made another picture. Of _me_."

His head snapped to where she was staring.

Nothing was there to be seen.

She was certain that the flash she saw was real. She started breathing faster and quickly walked to her flat.

"So sick and tired of this," she muttered to herself. "Either it's Playboy trying to kill my soul or it's the enemy of Mr Cullen trying to kill my body."

"I sure hope not your body."

She turned to him, and thought about spitting in his face.

"Are you really that desperate?" she snapped.

"I wouldn't-"

"I hate you. Do you get that? Back there you really made me nervous! You can't joke about telling me I might be in danger. Keep your stupid card. I don't want it."

She turned to step into her flat through the main door after throwing the card he gave her in his face.

"I wasn't joking about your safety, Bella," he called to her back.


	6. Chapter 5: James Coven

**A/N: I can't even say how sorry I am. I hope this new chapter and the upcoming ones, which are mostly finished, will make up for this very long wait.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 _Chapter 5 - James Coven_

 _"I wasn't joking about your safety, Bella," he called to her back._

She was in so much anger that she found herself typing on her computer with hard taps on her keyboard.

 _Dear Mr Cullen,_

 _What was that supposed to mean? That you weren't joking about previously named concern. Would much appreciate a proper answer._

 _Kind regards,_

 _Isabella Swan_

That thought had absorbed her during her shower, during her cooking and as she was trying to relax on the couch.

She regretted sending the email as soon as it was sent but she also knew that an answer was the only way to ease her mind.

Her laptop notified her with a soft _pling._

 _Dear Miss Swan,_

 _A proper answer would request for a formal meeting. Call me? 555-2680_

 _Edward Cullen  
_ _The Cullen's Company  
_ _Department of financial services_

She would call him the day someone would prove that the earth was flat.

He was useless. She went to shut all the curtains. She made sure the door was locked well.

From the distance she heard her laptop again.

 _Dear Miss Swan,_

 _So be it. Be safe._

 _Edward Cullen  
_ _The Cullen's Company  
_ _Department of financial services_

In no way did he offer even a lending hand. She just wanted a clear answer and all he did was nothing!

 _And give her his number._

But if she called him...

Things could go wrong, or she might get an answer.

However, he made it clear that he would only give her a proper answer by a formal meeting, which meant they would need to come face to face. In that case, she would become yet again the target of his wicked games.

She dialed his number.

"I might forgive you for running late, Isabel, if you bring Stella with you tonight."

Bella gagged. She didn't need to know that.

And hung up.

She threw her phone across the couch. Her phone rung and she knew, of course, that it was him, without even glancing at her phone.

It rung endlessly long and with each ring she grew more nervous. He couldn't possibly know that she called him, so there really was no need for her to fidget. Her secret was safe.

Then again, maybe he was calling because _he_ received a call from _someone_ and was hoping to see who it was.

Her phone bleeped, and she noticed a text message. She read it very slowly.

 _Isabel, Stella... Isabella. Bella. Hardly a difference there, right?_

She needed several moments to reread his text to understand it fully - _Edward Cullen was not about to have a threesome._ Pleasant to know.

And he knew it was her who tried to call him.

So much for the safety of that secret.

She didn't even dignify his... _joke_ or whatever it was with a response.

Bleep!

 _You're probably not in any danger. Don't worry._

She stared at the message with rage and her message to him read: _Probably? That's the greatest bullshit you've said ever since we met._

His next message told her: _You are upset._

In fact, her body was shaking.

She typed her next message to him with care: _I know what you are trying to do, and it won't work. You want me to cave in and ask you to tell me what this is all about. You want that formal meeting which you mentioned not even a few minutes ago in that e-mail. Unfortunately, you and I can never have a formal meeting. You locked the door during our interview and you assumed I'm a whore. "I have thoughts of your naked body on this desk and my wish to do with you whatever I desire. Do you accept checks? Will you be rubbing your knee between my legs? Why not just go up to your room and give them something to really talk about?"_

She was damn proud of herself as she sent it and didn't receive a message back.

She knew she had finally taken the upper hand, she knew she won, at least for now and she knew that right now she was the master, not him.

His delayed text message said: _I never pegged you to be melodramatic._

Until he said that, until he called her melodramatic, only then did she know that her previous thoughts were false, only then did she realize how shallow this man was. Talking with him was a waste of her time.

He would never get it

She started typing again and hit send. A few tears rolled down as she reread her text.

 _I'll no longer respond to any more of your comments, unless they're work related, because, when you're kind, you're a jerk, when you're considerate, you're mean, when you're decent, you abuse, when you offer, you are selfish, when you're charming, you're cold-hearted. I've been taking care of myself for a long time now and I will continue to do it without you._

It was too late to stop the tears, the emotion... everything.

She had fallen for his schemes several times now and each time she felt like the fool. For some part, she was the one to blame - she should have never let it go on for so long.

But no more. She put a line through it all. It was over. She would work, earn her wage fairly and do her best to avoid the paparazzi.

She dried her eyes each time she thought the crying stopped.

It never did.

She turned off her phone and didn't turn it back on, until the next morning.

Even then, there was no reply from Mr Cullen.

"How was your weekend?" Emmett asked with his mouth full. They were having lunch together on the rooftop.

"Quiet."

"You're very quiet today."

"I didn't notice."

He hummed as he allowed a moment of silence to fall in between them.

"How have you been?"

She sighed. He kept asking questions that required several words to answer.

"Good," she answered.

"Can I ask you about your neck?"

She froze. Her bruises were no longer that prominent. Some make-up turned them invisible.

"What?" she said.

"What happened to your neck?"

He could see them.

"I went to my old boss last week," she muttered. "He didn't take it too kindly. I'm fine, really."

"How can it be fine?"

"I'm used to it."

"Maybe you shouldn't be."

"Maybe you should butt out," she snapped. "You and your brother should both not stick your noses in somebody else's business."

She walked back inside angrily. She didn't want to get angry with Emmett, but all they did was remind her of pain and misery. She wanted a normal, boring life. She wanted simplicity. She could live her life with a nine to five job and be the happiest girl in the world.

Instead there was gossip, lies, bullies and harassment. If she could slowly cross those out of her life, she would be halfway on her way to happiness. If only.

Her colleagues talked too much and did too little. It was Bella who did most of the work.

Her day was a routine. She woke up at six, had a shower and breakfast. She left home at seven, started work at seven thirty. Her shift ended at four thirty, sometimes later. It depended on the work that remained to be done, including cleaning of the floors after most of the workers left. There were times she finished at six, being one of the last few to leave the building. Her breaks were too short, and allowed her little time to rest.

The walks were the longest drag after a long day of work for merely 10% above minimum age.

Beggars can't be choosers.

She managed to avoid Mr Cullen. He often made an approach, which she would ignore and ban from her mind.

Everything revolving around Mr Cullen didn't deserve her attention.

The people from security became friendly with her. They always greeted her in the morning and always bid her goodnight. She knew that they knew about the gossips. Everybody in the building knew about the gossips. Yet the security never judged her and for that she was grateful.

However it didn't make her friends with them, merely colleagues she enjoyed to share a friendly smile with and the occasional small talk.

She wasn't ready for friendship, not after all her friends turning her back on her.

Miraculously, and she was still holding her breath... _no pictures_. The people who'd been pretty much stalking here hadn't been around anymore. They probably realized she was just a boring cleaning lady now.

The days turned into weeks and she received her first pay check. Of course she thought of making sure she received the 10% bonus on top of her minimum wage.

When as she logged in on her bank account, she realized it was unnecessary.

Her previous balance had been a few dollars. Now it read...

 _$50.003,78_

Her face stared at her laptop screen long after it turned black and she was only looking at her own shocked reflection.

She had 3,78 dollars on her bank account before the CC deposited 50.000 dollars on it.

She remembered that number from a few weeks ago, during her first meeting with Mr Cullen. He offered her a valid check that read 50.000 dollars - she had ripped it and thrown it in the bin. She remembered what she asked him: _"You're willing to hand over fifty grand for just a moment with this body?"_

Was this mock on his behalf?

"Mr Cullen..." she said to her walls. "What on earth are you trying to pull?"

Was she supposed to say something to the administration office of the CC? That they made a mistake? That an income over _fifty thousand dollars_ was not minimum wage plus 10%?

Was that her duty?

She thought of it in her bed all night until the nightmares took over and made the decision for her.

The nightmares...so vivid and freakishly weird. Or were they dreams?

She e-mailed Mr Cullen instead of the administration that registered all incomes of the employee.

Perhaps, because she knew it wasn't a mistake at all. Mr Cullen had done this very precisely and he received what he wanted - a reaction from her.

For the first time in weeks.

 _Dear Mr Cullen,_

 _The deal was that 50.000 dollars is given to me was if I allowed you to put my naked body on your desk and your wish to do with me whatever you desire. That was the deal, wasn't it, Mr Cullen?_

 _This hasn't happened. Giving me this money and thinking I'll give you my body is an offense to my intelligence! I can't believe this._

 _Why can't you leave me be?_

 _Kind regards,_

 _Isabella Swan_

She laughed at no one in particular as she reread the e-mail and decided to delete it.

But when she pressed a button with her sleepdrunk eyes, she saw the email not being deleted, but sent - to Mr Cullen.

 _Oops._

She was certainly second guessing the contents of that e-mail.

Maybe writing e-mails at 4 in the night was not the wisest decision.

 _Stupid Bella!_

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up confused.

A number was calling her, which she didn't recognize.

A number was calling her at 4 at night.

A number was calling her a few minutes after she sent that e-mail.

Did he not sleep?

"Hello?" she said shakily.

"Hello."

He heart sank.

It was Mr Cullen, indeed.

She waited.

She was unsure of what that e-mail did to him - anger him, frustrate him, irritate him?

"Why are you still awake?" he asked.

He surely didn't sound angry or of the sort.

"Uhm..." she said, still shakily. "I had a bad dream."

"About?"

"I don't remember," she lied.

"Hate when that happens."

She heard a grin in his voice.

Everything she poured into that e-mail... she was afraid others might be able to read it or see it.

She had to ask to be sure.

"Can I...?" she started insecurely. "I mean, that e-mail I sent you? Can other people see it too? Read it?"

He chuckled. "It's encrypted. "

 _Oh._ She knew that meant in a way it was protected from being read by other people beside Mr Cullen.

She waited again.

"I have a question," Mr Cullen began.

She held her breath.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"What?" she breathed out.

"It's yes or no."

Her chest was heaving and she held her phone away so he would hear her panting.

 _He asked her, are you afraid of me?_

She never thought of that. But if she had to answer, the answer would be...

"No," she said in a small voice.

"I would believe you, if you sounded convincing."

"You intimidate me," she said instead.

She waited in anticipation for his reaction.

It was true. His simple 50.000 dollars had given her nightmares, made her write that nasty e-mail to him and now she was too ashamed to speak to him over the phone.

"That's unexpected," he said eventually. "I just deposited the money because I wanted a reaction from you."

Just like she thought.

He was _that_ predictable.

"I'm sorry for that e-mail," she said. "I sent it accidentally."

"Accidentally?"

"I meant to delete it, but...pressed the wrong button I guess."

She sighed.

"If it's a reaction you wanted, well there it was," she said awkwardly. "I'm sorry for the way it was. I think the nightmare just messed me up and it's late and I'm tired."

She sighed again - the nerves killed her.

"How can I make a deposition back?" she asked, her mind on the fifty grand.

"What was that nightmare about?"

"I said I don't rememb-"

"Tell me the truth and you can keep the money."

"I don't remember."

"I'll give you another 50 grand if you tell me."

She yanked at her hair right after she ran it through it.

" _This is why you intimidate me!_ " she snapped through gritted teeth. "You make offers I can't refuse."

"Please," he added.

 _Please stop._

"No," she said a little more strongly.

"It would kill me not to know."

"No."

"It's not like I'm asking you to sleep with me. I'm just asking for a peek in your mind."

 _Good. God._

Why did she cave in so easily?

Perhaps his comment triggered her - not the second one, but the first one: _It's not like I'm asking you to sleep with me._

"I don't want you to make any comments or just _anything_ about it once it's said," she said sharply. " _Ever_."

"Okay."

"You have to promise."

"I promise."

"And don't tell anyone about it."

"Okay."

She knew she shouldn't tell him.

"It was about..."

She knew it was beter to stay quiet.

"It was..."

She took a deep breath.

"We were having sex. And I... I liked it."

She bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly.

She made herself vulnerable and this was the moment he could say and do anything to hurt her.

"Can I ask something?" he said. "Or is that breaking my promise?"

"Yes," she croaked out. "I don't know... Is it something offensive?"

"No," he answered. "Why did you call that a nightmare instead of a dream?"

"I wasn't supposed to like it."

"Why?"

"Because you just want my body."

"So?"

He didn't even deny it.

"Because you just want my body," she repeated, "and that's offensive! It's a nightmare when you know a man just wants your body and nothing more. It's a nightmare when you expose yourself to a man and are given nothing back in return. It's a nightmare when the man that makes you feel good, is the same one that intimidates you in real life."

"Can I call you Bella?"

 _What?_

Did he even hear her?

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you just want my body," she repeated for a third time.

"So?"

Her mouth dropped. _Again_ he didn't deny it, yet he wanted them to become friends?

He was incredulous.

"I'm not sure what's happening," she said. "I'm no longer able to tell if this conversation is really happening or not. Maybe I'll wake up to realize this is just another part of my really bad dream. I hope it's the latter because I regret telling you that I dreamed you and I had great sex."

"I thought it was a nightmare."

"Goodnight, Edward..." she said with a tight throat.

Before he could reply, she'd already hung up.

It was so strange to hear his name leave her lips, but she had to do it to make a point. He didn't make any snide comments, and that deserved to be noticed.

Next day at work, she didn't see Mr Cullen. She wasn't even sure if he was at work.

After work, she checked her balance, which now read something that made her heart go wild.

 _$100.003,78_

He deposited the extra fifty grand, as was the deal if she told him about her nightmare.

Whether this touched her that he held true to his word, of whether this confused her about his motives, she had no idea.

In the upcoming days, she just did her very best to stay small.

Even during lunch breaks, she tried to avoid Emmett. She tried to avoid talking to anyone.

One day, an hour after her shift ended, she wasn't watching where she was going.

The day had been hectic. Lauren, Tiffany and Tanya had called in sick and as for Kirsten, she had more smoke breaks than normal, and as for Kerley, she complained more than usual about the work load being too much.

They left when their shift ended, but Bella, she had a strong feeling of responsibility.

She bumped into a man, hard, and stumbled on her feet.

"Sorry," she said clumsily. "I wasn't... looking."

Her body grew cold as she looked at the man for the first time. He was very tall in a dark - _probably expensive -_ suit. What frightened her was the dark look in his eyes. He had long blonde hair, tied back.

"It won't happen again," she continued at the very intimidating man.

His lips slowly went up in a smile, but she could not detect any kindness there.

"Not to worry."

She turned her head down to let her hair fall in front of her face.

Men like him watched dirty magazines. Men like him would recognize Izzie Dwyer. The last thing she needed right now was one more humiliation.

"Excuse me," she muttered, making her way back to the break room.

He held her shoulder and walked around her.

He asked, "Do I know you from somewhere?"

Her quick reply was, "No."

He seemed to be calculating her. Perhaps her _no_ had been too fierce and too quick.

"Is there anything you need?" she asked awkwardly.

"Not quite..." he said, his eyes flickering to something behind her. "Are you free tonight, Miss Swan?"

His eyes had read her name of her name tag.

"I am not," she said.

"Tomorrow?"

"Sorry."

He seemed slightly amused.

She was a little shocked. This good looking man was very obviously asking her out on a date.

Yes, he was handsome but also very intimidating.

But...

A date wouldn't be bad, right? There was nothing wrong with a date. Even dating in general. Why shouldn't she date?

"Maybe some other time," she offered.

He handed her a card, and said, "Call me _some other time._ "

Before she had the opportunity to take it from him, a hand from behind her snatched it.

"Leave," Mr Cullen said.

Bella looked up, unsure whom he was talking to. If he meant her, she was sure she'd be very angry for him to speak so rudely to her.

"Ah, hang on. You're surely not here to say you two are seeing each other? If that's so, you must be a terrible lover if she would accept my number."

"She's not interested in you," Mr Cullen snapped.

"Come on, Edward. Have you forgotten your ex? This is a history repeating itself, wouldn't you say?"

He took a step forward and for second, Bella thought he was going to strike. This stranger who'd been trying to ask Bella out on a date was apparently not on good terms with Mr Cullen.

There must be a reason for that, which made her think fast.

"I wasn't," she said in a shaky voice.

The stranger brought his eyes to Bella.

"What's that, love?" he said.

She shuddered.

"I wasn't accepting your number. Just hoping that if I would take your card, you'd release me and stop your very obvious and very lousy attempts to get me to go out with you."

"Well, aren't you a piece of work?"

Bella was unable to respond, because in fact she was lying and she knew for a fact that lying was not her best skill. In fact, she was sure that Mr Cullen and the stranger caught her in the act.

"I don't see it," he said directly to Edward but then he looked Bella straight in the eye.

She was forced to ask, "See what?"

"That thing about you that struck the eye of your boss. Without the editing, you aren't even pretty."

Her eyes closed briefly because all along he knew she used to work for Playboy magazine.

To put it lightly, that felt like he struck her with a knife.

And that was without the mention of how he thought of her appearance.

 _You aren't even pretty..._

Well, wasn't that a sharp stab in the chest?

"Get the fuck out of here," Mr Cullen said.

"Maybe you can explain?" the stranger continued as he brought his eyes to Mr Cullen. "Does she fuck well?"

 _No, no, no..._

Let it not be that this stranger thought that she and Mr Cullen had sex.

If he thought it, there could be the possibility that more people thought it.

If more people thought it, there could be the possibility that _everybody_ thought it.

And all along, this was what Bella wanted to prevent; that she, _the slut who used to work for Playboy magazine_ , was sleeping with her boss, _the CEO of the CC._

"Emmett," Mr Cullen snapped.

He only did a nod with his head and Emmett got in action.

"Its a cliché, Edward, to fall for the prostitute."

Her eyes snapped to the stranger.

He wore a knowing grin, but he wasn't looking at her; his eyes were on Mr Cullen.

So she did the same; she put her eyes on Mr Cullen.

He was staring at the stranger with dark, glaring eyes. It almost made Bella take a step away from him...

How to unhear what was said so loudly and heard so clearly?

 _It's a cliché... to fall for the prostitute._

Let's forget that it's a cliché and that the stranger called Bella a prostitute; yes, that was a minor detail.

 _To fall for..._

 _To fall for..._

 _To fall for..._

Bella's heart beat a tad bit faster. She didn't know this stranger, but he thought that Edward had fallen for _Bella_.

That was absurdly ridiculous and bullshit.

Mr Cullen guided Bella to his office - she didn't even know it was happening until she was inside his office. There he slammed the door shut, which made Bella jump at the sudden sound. He started pacing the room.

She felt a tension for reasons still unknown to her.

"What did you tell him?" he snapped.

"N-Nothing," she said shakily.

He seemed awfully angry and she didn't know why. But surely it had to be something more than anger. That man mentioned an ex and history repeating itself.

And it really was odd the way Mr Cullen answered for Bella by saying that she wasn't interested in that stranger. That wasn't completely true. She'd been considering his offer to go on a date.

Until he turned out to probably be a creep who said that, quote; _you aren't even pretty'._

"He was giving you his number," Mr Cullen said, coming to stand in front of her. "What did he say? How did you two even start a conversation?"

"I thought I said that it was just a tactic to get him off my back."

He looked her straight in the eyes and she pressed herself a little deeper into the wall.

"That was a bullshit story," he said. "Your attempt to lie was sad. You liked him. You wanted him. What gives?"

She was shocked to say the least. He saw right through her and that was more than a little frightening.

Something that could've perhaps led to a fun night out with a handsome man showing interest in her had been taken away from her by Mr Cullen's meddling. Even if the stranger turned out to be a douchebag who hurt her feelings when he called her ugly - in not so many words, but still she could feel the stab.

She brought her chin up and decided to no longer be afraid of his anger. After all, she had done nothing wrong.

"Why is that any of your business?"

"Fucking answer me."

"Or what?"

He stepped forward and his fist - which made Bella freeze, hit the wall beside her head.

She knew that he probably would've wanted to hit hear head instead of the wall.

His raging eyes fell on hers and he stared at her in contempt. This is what she meant a few days ago when she told him that he intimidated her.

With her eyes downcast as a way to avoid his much darker ones, she started.

"I bumped into him. I apologized and excused myself, but he held me and wondered if he knew me from somewhere. I said no, and he still wouldn't let me go. I was certain he would recognize me from the magazine, perhaps even mention it, And if anything, the last thing I needed was for him to bring up my time at Playboy. Eventually I asked him if he needed something, in the hopes he'd say no and let me go. That's when he read my name of my tag and asked if I'm free tonight, or tomorrow. I said no. And when he still wouldn't let me go, I realized he was showing interest in me and maybe I shouldn't too hastily cast him aside. I was thinking a date wouldn't really be such a bad idea with everything that's been going on. I mean, what's the harm in a date? It's just talking on neutral grounds. I told him maybe some other time, so he gave me his card and said to call him some other time. Then-"

She looked up at him and was tacken aback by how intensely he was watching her. As if there was a mystery to be solved.

"You came," she mumbled.

"I see," is all he replied.

She was looking down, feeling awkward and humiliated.

"If you see him again and you're alone, call 911."

"Oh," she breathed, glad he wasn't yelling at her again or punching the wall. "He can't be that..."

She caught the look on his face.

"...bad?" she ended weakly.

"James Coven was the prime suspect of a homicide, but he was released from custody when there was no evidence."

"James Coven?" she wondered.

He watched her incredulously, then rolled his eyes.

"I see the confusion," he said sarcastically. "That man you were speaking to is James Coven. Was it during your fantasy of a date with him that you never bothered to ask for his name?"

She was tacken aback to respond to his sudden hostility.

"It's not... no, I told you how everything went, that's not how-" she had begun awkwardly before his rude side kicked in and cast her aside like a piece of trash.

"Unless that's the way you roll, which is fine by me. However, you're very tacky to be so compliant with another man while you act like a saint in front of another."

"What?" she said in a small voice, not understanding the meaning behind those words.

"You do realize that talking to James Coven does not help you to improve your reputation? In fact, I believe it took a downfall. I'm unsure you might ever find your reputation back."

"I didn't even know who he was!" she said defensively through gritted teeth.

"Obviously not, considering you didn't even ask his name. If you had his number now, Miss Swan, how long before you would call him? Three days? One day? Tonight?"

"That's unfair. You don't-"

"Only a few hours before you started riding him?"

She couldn't respond as her words got lost in her mind.

Why did he ambush her like this?

"On the hood of his car after dinner? Behind an alley after having drinks? In the bathroom during the date? Or how about on the fucking parking lot of the CC for the whole world to capture on camera your escapade with a criminal?"

"Why-"

"Or maybe you'll have a _dream_ where he fucks you and you like it."

How foolish and naive was she to think he could even keep a promise?

She told him about that dream... even if it granted her 50 grand, but still she hoped he would keep his promise and never make any mean comments about that dream. This hit the nail right on its head.

 _Fool._

That it was, then.

He kept repeatedly insulting her in this ambush. Already she was fighting back tears, which was something she often had to do when authority was arguing with her or treating her unfair. This was not even that. This wasn't an argument.

It was abusing the employee in such an unreasonable way. She told him she knew nothing of that man's past, yet he decided to humiliate her.

It was clear to her that she was no longer welcome in the CC.

"I'm sorry to have angered you," she said - it was hard to hold back the tears, but she would give it all the power she had. "It was done unintentionally. Even if it was something as innocent as a silly fantasy of me on a date."

She couldn't stay here. No longer was she able to do this with him. It was too painful and slowly reducing her to tears.

She had to leave, _now_.

"I...I will keep in mind the warning you gave about 911. I'll only need a minute to get my things."

He scoffed at her.

She turned around and with her hand on the door knob, she remembered that dream from a few days ago. In fact, she didn't remember any details, except that she spent an intimate moment with him, when he repeatedly asked her, _'Is this okay? Are you okay?_ '

He showed concern in that dream. He cared about her in that dream. That's why she liked having sex with him, _in that dream_. She smiled at the thought without truly feeling the happiness.

She couldn't stop herself as she glanced back, but never really meeting his eyes.

"You were really nice to me in that dream. I'll try and remember you like that, even if it's just a bittersweet memory of something that never really happened."

That being said, she left his office in a hurry.

It all went very quickly from there. Her work clothes neatly folded with her badge on top of it placed on the employee table, she left the floor as silent and invisibly as she could.


	7. Chapter 6: Jealous

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Thank you everyone who reviewed and showed me their thoughts._

 _Enjoy._

* * *

 **Chapter 6 - Jealous**

She thought about waiting for the elevator but today was a good day to take the stairs. She would do anything to get away from this place as soon as possible.

"Hey, Bella," she heard Emmett right before she opened the door to get to the stairs. "Where are you going?"

Clear confusion was in his voice. She merely pointed at the stairs, because she herself thought it was obvious that she was going home.

"Did you talk to Edward?"

Don't cry, Bella.

"I talked a little, yes."

He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

"You're being very mysterious," he commented.

"I have to go, Emmett," she said in her strongest voice.

"What do you mean?" he said with a scowl. "James Coven contacted you. Didn't my brother explain?"

Explain what?

He told her plenty, and it all lead to her heart being crushed. She hated how much his words made an impact on her. It wasn't meant to be like that. She wasn't meant to feel this much because of a jackass who didn't even know her.

"What happened?" he continued when Bella didn't respond. "I was gone for only a minute."

She sighed at the situation. Truth be told, Emmett didn't do anything wrong. He deserved more that her passive aggression.

"Emmett, you're very kind. Too kind. Maybe the genetics passed on too much on you and left no more to spare for you brother. But I'm done with him."

"What did he say to you?"

"Ask him."

"I will, if that's what you want. But I want to hear it from you."

Couldn't he tell from her posture, her eyes, her voice... couldn't he see what was so obvious?

If not, at least her following words would explain what happened in that office a few minutes ago.

"He hurt me," she said with a breaking voice.

Tears fell and she felt like a fool. She tried to wipe them away but they kept falling.

It's too soon to fall apart.

She sniffed and tried to stand a little taller. It was important to not let them show that he did more than just hurt her.

She thought that life had already broken her. Life had hurt her by taking away everything she once had. She didn't know a person could do that to her as well.

"Bella, he's an idiot. As your bodyguard-"

"You're not anymore my protection. I don't think you ever really were. The thought was nice though."

She tried to smile, even if it felt bitter.

"As your bodyguard," he continued slowly, yet fiercely. "I'm telling you to hear my brother out. You don't have to speak. Let him do the talking."

Emmett clearly didn't understand what his brother was capable off.

"You brother doesn't talk," she said desperately. "He stabs. He crushes. He insults. He breaks. But he rarely talks."

"Bella, first of all, nobody messes with my friends. And second, you need to hear him out. I'll tell him to behave."

She was about to wipe a few hot rolling tears away from her chin as they dropped down when Emmett turned her around all off a sudden.

Her eyes locked with Mr Cullen.

What the hell?

Emmett was too nice, she said? The hell with that. He knew that his arse of a little brother stood behind them and he chose to turn her around just she was falling apart.

Thank you for the humiliation, Emmett!

What a jackass he was.

She wondered how much of her conversation with Emmett he caught.

She slapped Emmett's arm in a poor attempt to hurt him.

"You're just as bad as he is", she said angrily.

He was suddenly too close to her, and whispered in her ears, "Bella, you're capable to throw the jackass of his high horse. Now go do it."

"Why?" she asked in disdain, loudly for everyone to hear.

"Because somebody should," he said loud enough for Mr Cullen to hear.

"Do it yourself," she said in a tone that suggested that he was dismissed.

"I can't. Nobody can. But you can."

That. Made. No. Sense.

Next, Emmett just folded his arms in front of him and looked back and forth between Bella and his brother.

She noticed Mr Cullen watching them both with curious eyes.

"What did you tell her?" Mr Cullen asked with a raised eyebrow.

"None of your business, asshat," Emmett snapped to Mr Cullen. "Don't you dare mess with her again. I'll know if you did, and you will answer to me."

She pressed the button for the elevator to take her away. However, Mr Cullen was behind her and she felt a panic.

This was ridiculous!

Why should she be panicked? She'd done nothing wrong!

"Bella," Emmett said.

The elevator came and she stepped in and turned to look at him. Mr Cullen stood a step behind her.

Emmett came to stand next to the entrance so the elevator door wouldn't shut.

"Call me if he misbehaves. Or if you need a friendly chat. Or if you need to yell at me."

He smiled a little apologetically.

"I don't have your number," she responded monotonously - that was the end of her conversation with Emmett.

"You do."

She scowled as he gave her a wink instead as he stepped away from the entrance - but not before handing her a handkerchief.

The texture was very soft - it was too beautiful to be used...

Tears were however still falling, so she used the soft fabric to quickly wipe them away.

She could feel Mr Cullen's stare on her and she was even more humiliated that he saw her like this.

There; he broke her.

Happy now?

"Edward. Why are you dripping?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your hand, idiot."

Bella glanced behind just when Mr Cullen looked at his right fist, the one he used to hit the wall, to see the skin had ripped.

That looked painful.

It also reminded her of his uncontrolled rage toward her.

"Hit a wall," Mr Cullen said casually.

No.

That was not a representation of him hitting a wall. It was so much more.

Emmett's chest raised in a deep breath and he shook his head.

"You really are an idiot."

Of course she didn't expect Emmett to see what Bella so clearly noticed.

The elevator doors slid shut.

Mr Cullen placed his good hand under the dripping one to prevent blood from dropping on the floor. As they reached the first floor, he still stood in that position and said:

"Wait here. I need to get this fixed."

"I'm not sure what you're implying, Mr Cullen, but I know that I'm leaving."

Even though her voice shook, she was glad that she'd been able to tell him that.

"You're in danger, Miss Swan," he said with a hard stare. "If you care about protection, stay here while I get this fixed. We'll talk when I get back."

He turned his back to her and left with an irritating, confident walk.

Bella felt like crying again.

She's in danger?

What was that supposed to mean? That James Coven would probably never see her again.

There couldn't be any danger.

She didn't want there to be any danger.

She refused to believe it.

Still, she walked with wobbly legs to a waiting area and dropped herself on a small couch.

There she sat, waited and worried. Of everything that happened, the reason behind Mr Cullen's fist that hit the wall right beside her head was the one that bothered her most. For reasons unknown to Bella, he got mad at her, and insulted her, and implied her being fired.

But the reason for his fist that he was currently cleaning up was crystal clear to Bella - Mr Cullen wanted to hit Bella when instead he chose to hit the wall.

She couldn't get over that fact, she simply couldn't.

He was back fast with his hand cleaned up.

"Ready?"

She was hurting again. Just his mere present was painful.

"Miss Swan?"

Also frightening.

And it's like he didn't even see.

She was only a grey mouse to him; and oh how well did he toy with her for his own pleasure.

"Are you ignoring me now?" he asked. "How immature."

Her heart just crushed a little more.

He came to sit beside her and even though she could feel his eyes burning holes in her head, she still couldn't respond or give him a look.

"You look nervous," he went on. "You've been twisting that thing a million times now."

Her hands were indeed fumbling with the handkerchief that Emmett gave her. It was one of her habits, to play with her hands or whatever was in her hands when she was nervous.

Alas, Mr Cullen noticed.

When he touched her hands, she flinched away and turned her shoulder to him, as a way to make a barrier between them.

"Don't touch me again!" she hissed, only it came out much weaker than she hoped.

"Again?"

She heard the incredulity in his voice.

"I've never touched you."

For a man who was perspective, he was a fool to not notice the dominant emotion that Bella felt.

"Are you coming, or what?" he asked in a voice that suggested that his patience was wearing thin.

Was she coming?

Well, she wanted to know about that James Coven and she wanted to hear Mr Cullen out, but mostly because Emmett told her that she should. Basically, yes, she wanted to go someplace a bit more quieter and a bit more private where they could talk about the so-called danger that Bella was in.

The possible danger that she might be in, because of James Coven.

But before she could do that, she had to be sure that she was safe and not in a different kind of danger.

The kind of danger when Mr Cullen was enraged and hit the wall so hard that it made him bleed.

The kind of danger where Mr Cullen wanted to hurt her physically.

"I need a moment," she said in a small voice.

"What for?" he said.

"To hear you out, as Emmett suggested."

"That wasn't an answer to my question."

His tone, dripping with sarcasm just cut deeper and deeper into her open wounds.

Could he not be just a little kinder?

Just a tiny bit?

Her eyes were merely on the marmer floors. How could a building so beautiful as this one be run by a man as terrible as Mr Cullen?

Fine.

"I thought that the worst thing you could do to me is insult me," she said in slow motion. "And humiliate me. And manipulate me. And sexually harass me. And insinuate to the world that I'm just a slut who's sleeping around with you or any man for that matter. But it's not."

There it came, the moment she would tell him the truth and he would make yet another piercing comment.

At least she was honest.

"After you hit that wall so hard it made your skin rip while you were hoping it wasn't the wall but instead me that felt the strength of that strike, I'm going to need a moment to collect just a little courage, because I'm now not only intimidated by you. I'm also scared of you."

A shiver ran down her spine as she said that out loud.

"I need a moment," she repeated. "Because you wanted to hit me. And I'm scared. Well, go ahead then. Mock me. Laugh at me. I don't care anymore."

He leaned his elbows on his knees and she thought he was trying to catch her eyes. She was however just staring in front of her, at nothing.

"But I didn't," he said in defense. "I hit the wall instead."

The defensive comment was unexpected, but at least it wasn't mock.

"You don't get it, do you?" she asked. "You don't see it..."

It was quiet then and Bella wondered if he was thinking about just leaving her to fend for herself.

They had obviously hit a dead end.

It would be better to just leave it at this.

Until she heard his next words.

"Then tell me."

She was a mess and he was so calm. She was shaking her head.

"You didn't hit me," she said. "But you wanted to, didn't you?"

Her eyes never met his but her heart beat felt loud as she waited for an answer.

"Never," he said quietly.

Why was he lying?

It only angered her.

"Fine!" she snapped. "Go ahead and try to brainwash me into believing you. But I know for a fact that you were angry with me. You were yelling at me. You made fun of me. You hit that wall which was only inches away from me. You... hurt me. I'm barely able to talk to you. I can't look at you. And I'm unable to go anywhere with you, unless..."

Her voice broke and her tears started again.

What were a few tears, when she just made those horrid confessions? They were only a representation what she already felt, and now he knew.

"Unless you give me a moment," she choked out for the third time. "And if you can't wait, it's fine."

Her mind was running over hours and she felt stupid and silly for asking him for a moment. It was clear that he wouldn't give her what she needed.

"It doesn't even make sense that you're here to tell me whatever you need to tell me about James. I know how little you think of me. I'll ask Emmett instead."

From the corner of her eyes she saw him move, but he only seemed to sit straight up and lean against the couch.

At least he wasn't trying to look at her again. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her humiliation.

"I can wait," he said, his tone a little off.

She covered her face in the handkerchief and waited for the quiet sobs to end.

Her moment turned to minutes, by which her sobbing ended and her tears dried.

Her moment turned to half an hour, that had her thinking about her broken life and why it was that she couldn't have an ordinary life.

Her moment eventually reached an hour and she didn't know what to say or do.

The clock in front of her read it was almost half past 7.

She glanced back carefully.

He had a piece of her dyed-black-dead hair in his hand and he was twirling it around his finger. She saw he did it repeatedly. She hadn't even noticed a touch or a pull on her head.

He brought his eyes up and she quickly dropped hers to his hands and her hair. His fingers kept working around that single strand of hair.

She moved so all her hair was in her own hands and she brought it to her side, away from Mr Cullen and his reach.

It was a way of telling him to not touch her or any part that belonged to her.

However, when she denied him, she feared him even a little more.

His anger back in his office had been so unexpected.

She drew in a nervous breath.

What if it happened again?

"What happens now?" she asked in a dry voice.

"We need to talk about James Coven. Unless you're not ready."

What if she was never ready to talk about that with him?

"Take your time," he added.

She shook her head, because there was a limit to her time. That made her feel so desperate.

"I don't think it's useful to just sit here until I'm feeling better. Let's just-"

He interrupted her and said, "I'll wait until you're ready."

She shook her head.

"I'll wait for you."

What was he saying?

What was this about?

Mr Cullen wasn't meant to say things that were... kind.

She had to ignore those words to keep her mind a little clear.

"I should call the police if I see him again, right? What more is there to say?"

"There's so much more than that. There is actual danger."

DAMN HIM.

She turned to face him for the first time.

"Why?" she asked.

He seemed confused, especially when their eyes caught.

He repeated, "Why?"

"If there's so much more, why didn't you tell me so in your office? Why instead did you choose to tell me all those other things? Because, I think it's hypercritical of you to call me immature while really, you're the one who's not acting his age. What if Emmett didn't stop me? Would he have called me, to talk about this so-called danger? Would he have visited me at my place after he noticed my absence tomorrow? Would you have told him what you told me?"

He opened his mouth, and in that moment, Bella didn't care what he wanted to say. She had just one more thing to tell him.

"Do you treat everyone like shit, or is it just me?"

For a while it was a staring game.

He sat quietly, so passive.

Did he even care that he hurt her?

"Why are you waiting?" she asked. "It's been over an hour. You can't mean it that you actually want to wait here."

"I have something to tell you."

"Haven't you said enough back in your office?"

He brought his eyes down and she didn't know what to make of it.

He seemed...

No.

It could not be that he looked ashamed.

"I can ask Emmett to take over, if that's what you want."

She wondered out loud... "Isn't that what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"To get away from me, to leave, to go and do things a lot more amusing than sitting here. That must be what you want."

He didn't reply.

"If that's it, then go," she said.

"That's not it," he answered.

It was short and firm. He didn't make any snide comments, but he simply disagreed.

"Is that what you want?" he asked. "Do you want me to leave?"

She turned her eyes away from him.

She didn't know what she wanted.

"I'll go if you tell me to go. Emmett is still upstairs. He's very fond of you."

She didn't know quite what she wanted yet from her boss. Former boss. Or whatever he was. But as it would seem so, he was simply sitting next to her and not leaving because apparently, he didn't want to.

"Emmett is kind," she responded instead.

She leaned back and started twirling a piece of her own hair around her finger - just like Mr Cullen had a few moments ago.

"What was it that he whispered to you?" he asked.

"Something silly."

He was staring at her hard and she sighed.

"He said that I'm capable to throw the jackass of his high horse."

At first he watched her bluntly, but then he chuckled and muttered, "Fuck me."

"Silly, right?"

"Is it?"

He inhaled sharply and ran a hand through his hair.

"Can I tell you something? I assure you that it's not a repetition of what I told you in my office. But neither can I promise whether you'll take it as an insult or not."

Even though he hurt her and humiliated her, she found herself wondering what it could possibly be that he wanted to tell her. He even asked her politely.

She could decline, but then she would never know the mystery.

"There's only one way to find out," she said at last.

He didn't start immediately. The anticipation was real for Bella.

What would he tell her?

Would she take offence?

And if she did, would it truly surprise her?

It probably shouldn't.

"I need you to know this first. I will never hurt you physically. Even the thought has never crossed my mind, nor will it ever. I didn't hit that wall because I was angry with you or because I wanted to hit you. I would have never hit you. Hitting that wall had nothing to do with you. The last thing I wanted was for you to think that."

She was captivated by the intensity of his voice. He watched her in a way that was foreign to her. He was more serious then she had ever seen him since they met.

"But I did harass you," he said. "I forced you to tell me what I needed to hear. Which came with a cost. I don't take pleasure in seeing you like this."

She swallowed nervously and he seemed to hesitate himself before he said, "It hurts me to see you hurt."

Without giving her words a thought, she said, "Then you must like pain a great deal, because all you do is hurt me. Could it be that you are both a masochist and a sadist?"

She wanted to smack herself as soon as she said that.

"So is this what you wanted to say?" she said quickly to kill her awkwardness.

"I haven't even begun yet," he said with a scoff. "Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head no, and said hurriedly, "I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and it feels like you're behind me, ready to push me off whenever I make a mistake again."

He leaned back and let out a hard breath.

"You say that it hurts you to see me hurt, but you're the one who hurt me. And when I confront you with that, I don't know what you'll do to me. You managed to make me feel like this. You managed to get inside my head and drive me mad to the point it disrupts my sleep, gives me strange dreams and now... now I must be mad for even telling you all this, because it makes me the masochist who's asking for a beating. Or a little nudge until I'm no longer on that cliff."

After she said that, it was very quiet.

And she waited, waited nervously on the edge.

"Listen," he said quietly. "I won't push you off the cliff. There are only two things that could happen on the cliff. The first being that I throw myself off that cliff to free you from me."

Her heart beat a bit faster and her stare on him became frozen.

"As for this," he said, showing me his bandaged hand. "I hit that wall because I was jealous of James. You had only just met him, and already you two seemed to be getting along very well. What you saw in my office was a jealous man. It's not an excuse. But it's what I felt, and it's a feeling I haven't felt in years. I can't remember the last time I felt jealous, and if I did, it was never as strong as the moment I saw you with James."

She stopped breathing, because her mind seemed to know where this was going, but her brain refused to help her process it.

It simply couldn't be.

"In your last e-mail you asked me a question that only added to my own confusion: why can't you just leave me be? That was my question. You know that obsession that teenage boys have when they find a girl they like? It's one I have now for the first time in my life come across with."

...find a girl they like.

Oh, no.

Mr Cullen, please don't say it.

Panic...

Alert...

Her brain was blocked, because that's what the brain did when there was immediate danger; it blocked to save the body.

"I've been with many women," he said. "No strings attached. No feelings involved. I never really had that need to be with someone, except for sex."

She was shocked at the horrible confession. What constituted many women?

And he was only with them for sex.

Surely he was exaggerating though. There must have been a girlfriend at least once in his life. There must have been feelings involved.

It must be an exaggeration.

"At least, that's what I thought until I met you," he said.

What was happening now? This was even worse than his previous comment about waiting until she was ready, waiting for her...

"I crave for your attention. I long to know your thoughts. I have to be near you. I want to touch you, even if it's only a piece of your hair."

He had taken her hair in the hour that she'd been silent and taking her moment, he had been twirling her hair, because he wanted to...

Touch her. Be near her. Know her thoughts. Have her attention.

There was a word stuck on her lips;

No.

However the way he spoke seemed so very gentle. She didn't know this side of him. Therefore, she allowed him to speak whatever it was he wanted to say so suddenly.

Even if it made no sense.

"I didn't understand for a long time why you became my obsession. I understand it now. I can see why I feel this need to chase you."

Her heart was beating restlessly, but she told herself to look at his face, his eyes and his expressions. She had to know what he was going to say.

Even if it made no sense.

He smiled, a little forced and a little bitter.

"It's because, if I'm not quick, I'll lose you to another man."

Nothing made any sense anymore.

He ran a hand through his hair again.

Just like Bella toying with her fingers of an object when she was nervous, he seemed to be also doing something with his hands when he was nervous.

Which meant that Mr Cullen was nervous now.

"That thought kills me," he said with his eyes on her.

She didn't know what to say.

He had rendered her speechless.

"At least, that's what I thought, until you said that you're afraid of me. That kills me even more, because I can't undo it. I can't force you to stop fearing me."

There's a moment in your life when everything seems to stop moving. It can happen when something beautiful happens. It can happen when something terrible happens.

And it was happening right now to Bella.

Was it happening to her because this was beautiful of because this was terrible?

"I know I'm not good for you. But for whatever it's worth. You're changing me. And I'm letting it happen. Because I want to change. For the better."

Oh.

"For you, Bella."

She felt bitter.

Was it because he told her something so darkly romantic, or because he called her Bella?

She said, "It's a cliché, Edward, to fall for the prostitute."

She was repeating James' words.

"Who cares if it's a cliché, when it's the truth?"

She closed her eyes, because he didn't deny it. He had fallen for Bella.

Even if it didn't make any sense.

All this time, Mr Cullen made it so clear he wanted her body. Nothing more. But James said it so clearly. Of course she remembered the painful words where he told her that, "without the editing, you aren't even pretty". However, right before he made that comment, he said something that Bella decided not to give a single thought. "That thing about you that struck the eye of your boss."

It wasn't a love confession or anything, but it was something a hell lot more than Mr Cullen only desiring her body.

"It's a mistake," she added with her eyes downcast. "You just want that fantasy of Izzy. Even offered me money."

"If I wanted sex, I would be having it right now with any other woman. But I'm here with you."

He had a point there. He could be having sex with any woman right now. But that didn't mean she would so easily give up.

"Because Emmett told you."

"Because after you told me that that dream you had is just a bittersweet memory of something that never really happened, you caught me and now I'll be chasing you forever."

She took a sharp intake of a breath. "All I know is that you want my body. That's the only thing you've made clear."

"That's all I know. I've never felt anything like this before. I don't know the steps."

"The steps of being a nice guy?"

"I've never been a nice guy. It's not you. I treat everyone like shit. To answer your previous question."

"That's why you treated me like a prostitute for shallow sex?"

"On the interview I was testing you. I knew very quick you're not the person the media has portrayed for the world to see. All the other times it was just to see your reactions. To get your attention. Because God forbid you find out I have a crush on you."

She winced.

She really didn't know what to say.

He had it so clear to her that he desired her body, never something more.

She cleared her throat.

"There's a catch," she said. "With you, there's always a catch."

"There was never a catch," he said.

Still... if that was true, still...

"Be realistic," she said. "I'm on the bottom of the food chain."

He steered his head.

"What?" she said. "I'm the prostitute. Imagine what it would be like if I ever met your family. I would get laughed at."

"It is I who would get laughed at. You're high above me, even with your tainted name."

He said it without joke or mock.

"I don't know what to think anymore..." she muttered. "I don't know how you can go from being so mean to being like this... It's too sudden. It's not real."

"Why?"

She had a hard time breathing, but since they were already on dangerous territory, she decided to go even deeper into the dark.

"I'm walking on a very breakable thread that will send me straight on the streets. Everybody I once knew has left or died. I have nobody to go to. I have nothing."

She wasn't even feeling a thing as she said this. She had lost everything a long time ago. It didn't hurt her anymore.

"You're the owner of this company. Do I really need to say it? Do I have to continue for you to see my point?"

"No," he said. "I understand. You're saying I'm superior to you."

"Yes. You said it just now: God forbid I may find out you have a-"

She couldn't say the word.

He smiled a little as he looked down.

"I told you about two things that could happen when we're on that cliff. Do you remember?"

"Yes."

"I told you that the first one would be that I jumped to free you from me. Do you remember?"

"Yes."

"The second one would be that I make sure that that dream you had is no longer just a bittersweet memory of something that never really happened. Even if I don't know what exactly made that dream so special."

Even if it wasn't wise to tell him what made that dream so special, she felt like she really didn't care anymore whether he knew or not.

"If you must know," she started, "in that dream you were considerate. You kept asking me if I was okay and if whatever you were doing is okay. You kept showing concern. You cared about me. It was sweet. That's all. Nothing more. Just... considerate sex. It's lame, I know."

He seemed to be thinking hard.

"You didn't have to tell me that," he said eventually. "Especially after the way I talked to you in my office. I broke a promise. I used something you told me against you."

"I honestly don't care if you have more ammo to hurt me with. I really don't care."

"I'm not collecting ammo against you," he said with a scoff.

"I don't care if you are."

She didn't mean to make herself look like a sad piece of work. But here's the thing; she was telling the truth. She really didn't care what he was doing. Because he was going to do it anyway.

"What does this all have to do with you being superior to me? I already knew you wanted to fuck me and now I know you want to fuck me on a cliff. Perhaps right before you commit suicide. You really didn't strike me as the depressed type of guy."

He seemed to be biting his tongue and she just realized what she just said.

No, not said.

Blurted out.

"That was blunt," she said awkwardly.

"I can take it," he said with a smirk. "The cliff is a metaphor for your feelings. My suicide is a metaphor for giving you what you need."

"And you fucking me on the cliff is a metaphor for you fucking me on the cliff."

So blunt...

What's wrong with her?

He said, "And me fucking you on the cliff is a metaphor for us having considerate sex."

"Are you mocking me?"

She heard him sigh. "No. You threw the jackass of his high horse."

She felt odd that he thought she managed to do that.

"You'll be okay, Edward."

He laughed, but it wasn't humored.

"Are we on first name basis now, or are you being cute with me?" he asked dryly.

"You tell me, Edward," she said. "Besides, you're no longer my boss. Why should I call you mister? Besides, you're tall. Just jump and get back on your high horse."

He smiled, a strange smile.

"What's funny?" she asked defensively.

"You don't see it, Bella. You don't see that I fell of my horse the moment you told me you're scared of me. You don't see that my horse ran away and I didn't attempt to stop it, because I didn't want to."

She couldn't not feel something. His words were touching her.

Even if he was a disgusting man.

"Why would you let a perfectly good horse run away?" she said in a way of a joke.

"I don't fit well with that horse."

"You'll find another horse. Maybe one that's even bigger."

"I don't want a horse. I want you."

She looked away.

She didn't know what to make of that. It still wasn't real.

"I'm sure it's just Izzy you want. You barely know me."

"I don't want Izzy," he said. "I want you."

For one final time, she thought of an excuse, something, to tell him, to make it stop. However, she couldn't find any other words to his comment - made twice, that he wanted her.

"That was blunt," he said, as a way of repeating her previous words. "Let's get dinner. I'll tell you about James on our way there."

"Just tell me know."

"After I told you what I need to tell you, you might freak."

"So?"

"I want to stay with you when that happens. And we might as well have dinner. Unless you have other plans?"

"I don't, but-"

"Please?"

She didn't want dinner, yet she found herself in his car.

He asked her where she wanted to go; she said she didn't care.

He asked her where she would like to eat; she said she didn't care.

He asked her if she was still scared of him; she looked away instead.

"I was with a girl once," he said. "James Coven killed her around three years ago. I don't need the police or evidence to know that she's dead."

She held her breath.

"Pictures are being made of you and me. Now a killer tried to contact you."

Her breath fell and a shiver ran down her spine.

"That's why you are in danger. Because of me."

She refused to believe it.

"This girl that James killed, she was with me often over the course of a few weeks. It was never more then sex. But James must have thought that I liked her and that she and I were dating. I started noticing small things. For instance, he tried to make me jealous. He wanted me to react. Perhaps needed me to react. But I didn't. I never did. So he killed her. His own company is dying. She was collateral damage to one of his weird plans to bankrupt the CC. He's had several over the years. When his plan failed to bring me down, he no longer needed her. He could have easily let her go. But he knew that killing her would frustrate me. I never meant for that girl to die."

She wasn't sure she understood it...

She wasn't sure she liked this conversation.

But she didn't want to speak.

Even if it would make him think again that she was immature.

"He made the mistake three years ago to snatch the girl whom he thought I had feelings for. James isn't blind. He noticed my interest in you. Three years ago, he tried to make me jealous, and as I've said before, I don't get jealous. But this afternoon, I did. And that was my mistake. I should and could have known that was his goal. Now you're in even more danger because of me. If he could kill once, he can do it again."

Not long ago, Mr Cullen was telling her that he has feelings for her.

Right now he was telling her that James Coven, the man she spoke with a few hours ago, was a killer and he probably would kill Bella if he could get the chance.

She was having a very hard time not to panic.

"The police is of no use to report him. They let James go after holding him in custody for two days, stating he's innocent. And he hasn't sent you anything threatening that you could use. There's nothing you can use against him to the police."

How was that fair? The police were supposed to help you and when you had a big chance of being murdered, they couldn't help you because legally, nothing showed you were in danger.

"At work, your safe. Always. I can also guarantee your safety whenever you're home or going to work or elsewhere. I can arrange a few bodyguards. If you ever see James and you're alone, call the police and tell them somebody is going to kill you. Because, he will. I'll also arrange a bulletproof vest for you."

She thought of a girl that was once Edward's... very friendly friend and now she was gone. The police couldn't find her.

Bella could become that girl.

Because apparently, she was in need of safety, bodyguards, 911 and a vest.

"I'd say you're very safe with all these taken actions. And the stalking will probably stop, now that James has gotten what he wanted. Well, that is to say, in case you hadn't figured it out yet, it was James who has been taking your pictures. He's been keeping a close eye on you."

She gasped.

He took her pictures?

James was her stalker?

That's what Emmett meant with stalker...

James had been stalking her even before she had an interview?

Mr Cullen parked the car in front of a fancy looking place.

She didn't want to go there, eat there, or whatever. But she needed air, so she got out and walked.

She walked, walked, walked.

"Bella!" Mr Cullen called.

"Get away from me," she said quietly.

"Bella..." he said, his voice closer and less loud.

"Leave me be, Mr Cullen."

"You're in danger. I can't leave you here to fend for yourself."

She turned around to face him, but kept a full several yards between them.

"Well, you're useless, right?" she snapped. "How are you supposedly going to help me if somebody would hurt me right now?"

"I would take out my gun and kill them."

What?

He didn't even hesitate.

She reached her breaking point and quickly got behind an ally. She faced the wall and felt like she was choking. Her body was shaking and she could not take it anymore.

He walked over to her and looked cautious.

"You're ashen," he said. "And hyperventilating."

"You have a gun?" she squealed.

He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Take deeper breaths, Bella."

She shook her head, because she couldn't.

"Leave me be!" she snapped.

She had gone weak from everything that had been said and done today. She was clueless. Her mind was filled with information, but the connections were lost.

"I have taken care of your safety. Even right now, there are bodyguards keeping you safe. What can I get you to make everything else less unpleasant?"

She was so worried.

What should she do? What would happen if she saw James again?

She couldn't bear the thought of meeting with that killer again.

"You're safe, Bella."

"Can't you fake your feelings? Show James you don't like me. Take me in this alley and then leave me. Or punch me in the stomach. Show him I'm nothing to you."

Her rant was quick and thoughtless.

"Take you in this alley and then leave you?" he repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Just do it. Or punch me in the stomach."

"I'm not going to take you here, Bella."

"It's what you've wanted all along. What's wrong with it now?"

"I never wanted to take you in an alley...however, if there was a chance it might work, I would consider it. But it's too late. We can't fool James. He's not easily fooled."

"This is your fault!"

"I know. I take full responsibility."

And what use was that?

What was she going to do? What could she do? She didn't know.

She was alone, there was nobody.

How the hell did that happen? Why did her parents have to die? Why was her life such a mess? Why was she alone?

Mr Cullen... Edward... Whatever she was supposed to call him, came to stand very close to her.

He might take her, right now. Perhaps they could still fool James.

"Did you reconsider?" she whispered.

When he didn't respond, she looked up and noticed only his blank face.

"No," he said eventually.

"Somewhere else then?"

He seemed both amused and disbelieving.

"No," he repeated.

"Oh... Did you start? Am I supposed to play along? I don't get it... What are the rules? We're supposed to fool James, right? You can't just start without even hinting at me what I'm supposed to do or-"

He pressed his thumb against her lips and she drew in a deep breath.

"No," he said with a scoff. "You're not supposed to worry about those things. I got this."

She shook her head. Of course she was worried.

"I've got your back," he said.

Sudden exhaustion kicked her in the head and she started to have a blasting headache.

He released her lips, but rested his hand on her shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

"I don't want to take you on a cliff, or in this alley, or any other place."

"I don't know which game I'm supposed to play."

He sighed and held her chin tightly.

"Forget about James. I'm not playing a game with you, which you're supposed to follow along."

"What do you want from me then?"

"To call me Edward and mean it."

For a second she got lost. Not sure if it was in his words or in his eyes.

By the look in his eyes, he seemed to notice the change in her.

That's all he wanted? For her to call him Edward. However, it meant so much more. Calling him Edward made them friends...connected.

"Okay..." she said quickly. "Okay, then you should call me Bella, right?"

He released her chin and rested both his hands on her shoulders. Without notice, he pulled her forward and pressed her body against his own. She didn't know how to respond, so she didn't. Her hands remained stiffly by her side.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," he said close to her ear.

When he released her body, he placed his hand over hers and pulled her softly along with him.

"Come," he said.

After a few yards he released her and there was a tense atmosphere. Bella's heartbeat was running wildly.

She was scared...and that's why she walked close next to him and clung to his arm.

She had a very bad feeling about James Coven.

"Hell is empty," she said. "All the devils are here."


	8. Chapter 7: Overwhelmed

_A/N: So sorry for the late update! Thank you for sharing you're thoughts with me and reviewing! There's some confusion. Thank you for pointing them out! Here are some facts to clarify:_

 _1\. Edward is **29 years** old. This can be found in chapter 1, where Bella glances at Edward's passport. It says: 20 JUN 1988. She also makes the calculation, and says to herself that he's 29._

 _2\. Bella is **21 years old**. This can be found in chapter 1, where Edward says 'Twenty-one', commenting on her age. Bella felt a little insecure so as a way to try and insult Edward, she comments that 'he must be 40' and he continues the joke by saying he's actually 56._

 _3\. Bella **is not a prostitute/whore** , but a former model at Playboy magazine. James called her a prostitute to see Edward's reaction. Bella called herself a prostitute, because if that's how the world sees her, she feels like she might as well go with that flow; seeing that life is not kind to her and swimming against the flow is too hard for her right now._

 _Please let me know if I need to clarify any other parts of the story. Enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

 **Chapter 7 - Overwhelmed**

She felt like a loser.

She could already read tomorrow's headlines in the papers; _Former Playboy model 'Izzy Dwyer' clinging to CEO Edward Cullen_

Could they also read?; _Her life is in danger_

Could they also tell the truth?; _"She's scared and lost and alone"_

She released him when he went forward to hold the door open for her and she instantly regretted following him to this place, or at least not stopping him. However, her feet dragged her inside and she and her boss found herself in what was probably the most beautiful, enchanting restaurant Bella had ever been to.

Was it possible to be in her current, possibly _life-threatening_ position, and still feel shame for the gigantic money barrier that stood between him and her?

Of course, he was still wearing his suit and she wore an outfit that cost probably no more than fifty dollars. Yes, it was very possible to feel such shame in her current position.

She zoned out, never hearing the waiter, never hearing her surroundings and never even acknowledging anything or anyone around her. Until he snapped his fingers in front of her. She had seated herself opposite from him and he stared at her with narrowed eyes.

 _Was he angry? Was he regretting this? Was he expecting something from her?_

"What?" she said.

"You okay?"

He sounded a little careless asking it, and it suddenly made her blood boil. She wanted to be calm and show him that was wasn't worried. However, the only thing in her mind was that right now, she didn't dare to be alone and he was her only option to keep her company. She was that pathetic and that alone.

"No, I'm not okay," she snapped. "You've ruined _everything_. It's not like I had even that much, but you managed to take it all. You're like a leech that's already full, but just for its own pleasure sucks out even the last drop of blood."

He opened his mouth, probably to come at his defence, but she wasn't finished.

"Then you bring me to this place that's obviously made for your kind."

He looked up behind her, and whether somebody had come to stand behind her or if he simply decided to not look at her anymore, she didn't care, because she still wasn't finished.

"And it really doesn't help that you're _always_ perfectly composed, ready to shoot your smart-arsed reactions at me and make fun of me, because I'm the cheap joke in your life right now."

He smiled gently, and said, "Bella. You're wrong, about everything."

"Whatever you say, _sir_!" she mocked. "I'm freaking out, okay? I don't know what to do, where to go, how to act or how to breathe. I have no place to go right now, because I can't be alone! And I have nobody in my life, so I have to sit here with you!"

She gasped once for air when suddenly a man walked around them, took a chair for a nearby table and sat with them. Bella scoffed at the random man who looked at Edward, who in turned sighed and watched the man with angry eyes.

"Hey, Carlisle," Edward said.

She froze in her seat. She knew that name... She knew who Carlisle _Cullen_ was, but maybe this was another Carlisle.

"Hi, son."

 _Son._ What was Edward's father doing here?

He turned to Bella.

"Carlisle Cullen," he introduced himself with a seemingly kind smile.

She already knew that, and it felt weird. Also, was it weird that Edward called his father by his first name?

"Bella, is it?" he asked. "I'm sorry we meet like this. I took the pleasure of inviting myself over."

Bella looked at Edward, her eyes hopefully cold.

"What's this about?" she asked him.

"Don't blame my son for my intrusion," Carlisle said before Edward had a chance to reply.

He irritated her. His sudden presence was to Bella, in her current _falling-apart_ state, unwanted.

"Why are you here?" she asked bluntly.

Edward laughed, and Carlisle raised his eyebrows, but then managed a smile.

Not a moment ago, Bella had been so angry for Edward as he asked her if she's okay. But when she spoke so rudely to his father, whom, on second notion, he called by _Carlisle_ , instead of dad, he laughed, seemingly amused by Bella. And at that, Bella couldn't help but wonder how the relationship of these two men was. It couldn't be well, if Edward chose to call him by his first name.

"James Coven is not a matter a take lightly."

Wow, this man just dove right in, didn't he?

"And seeing that you're near a panic attack and my son over here knows nothing about medicine, I thought-"

"I was pre-med," Edward intervened. "To say I know nothing about medicine would be an exaggeration."

 _Pre-med?_ That explained all the tetanus talk. That didn't explain his career choice.

She reminded herself to ask him later.

"Nonetheless-" Carlisle said.

"Nonetheless, I got this."

"How much?" Carlisle asked.

"How much what?" Edward said.

Carlisle sighed and said, "How much does she want?"

Edward didn't respond, and Bella sensed they were talking about her.

"What's this about?" she asked after their little argument.

"Are you honestly that dumb, or are you that naive to not have asked her?" Carlisle continued to ask Edward.

Edward looked at Bella tiredly.

She tried to read in his eyes what he was trying to tell her, but she failed to catch the message. All she heard was how the father thought that Edward was either dumb or naive, which was interesting.

"He's dumb or naive, why?" Bella asked to Carlisle, curious now. "Please, what's this all about? I want to know."

"Leave Washington," he responded. "With a new identity, a new life and a new start. And any sum of money you want."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That's... Is that possible?"

"Certainly," Carlisle said.

There was a catch... There was always a catch in this Cullen family.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" she asked Edward.

He didn't respond.

"Because people are fools when they are in love," Carlisle said. "Do you accept?"

Bella sat even more frozen at that confession. _Love_ was something nobody ever mentioned. A crush, sure. But love?

 _Of course it wasn't true._

"Where would I go?" she asked carefully.

Edward rose a little in his seat as he gazed at Bella, his eyes assessing her sharply. She felt herself scowl at how hard he was looking at her. It was very unnerving.

"Nobody knows beforehand," Carlisle said. "To ensure safety."

"Nobody will know where I go, but neither will I?"

"That is correct."

"Can I ever come back to Washington?"

"It depends. If your safety can be ensured, then yes. But the odds are slim your safety can be ensured, unless James Coven is either dead or sent to prison for life."

She glanced at Edward, who watched her tiredly.

"It's the best deal," Edward said, speaking for the first time, "which I would take, if I were you. Especially if I'm the leech who has drained you from all of your blood."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" she said. "If this is the best deal...?"

First, Edward scowled as if it was obvious. But then he chuckled, and Bella couldn't help but wonder if silently he was laughing at her.

"You heard him," Edward said, nodding his head towards his father.

"I don't understand," she said, trying to think back of what Carlisle had told Bella in the previous minutes.

"People are fools when they are in love," he said slowly.

She froze at hearing those words again, only now they had come from Edward's lips.

"I'm sorry for being selfish," he added.

The words were repeating in her head, over and over. Yet, it couldn't be love.

"Surely, you accept this chance and the money?" Carlisle asked.

She was staring at Edward when Carlisle asked her that.

Next, she saw a scenario in her head... _Bella lands, on the grounds of France. Her new life will be in the capital city, the beautiful Paris. But not a few minutes have passed with her feet on Parisian grounds when James finds her..._

She was unsure of many things, but she was sure of the answer to Carlisle's question.

"No," she said.

They both looked surprised, however Carlisle looked even a little more suspicious.

"How much money do you want?" Carlisle asked.

Edward leaned back, and it looked like he kept himself out of the conversation. But before he did that, he gave her a wink.

 _Why?_

"Nothing," she said dryly.

"One million."

Her mouth opened.

"Two million?"

"What is it with you two?" she snapped. "You keep offering me money as if I'm a..."

She shook her head. They made her feel cheap.

"Ten million, Bella. Ten."

"You would give me that much money to leave?"

He nodded and even brought out a check book.

The waiter arrived with a bottle of wine which she hadn't even noticed had been ordered. When he had filled three glasses, she was the first to take the wine for a big sip.

"Why?" she asked.

"It's complicated, Bella," he said.

 _Try me_ , she wanted to say. She knew the correct answer though and didn't need his answer to know the truth. He wanted her gone, because she was an actual threat to the CC.

It was true that Edward had fallen for Bella very deeply; of course, he had. Even some strange love had made it to Edward's heart. James knew that, and he was going to use that to his advantage. The CC was at threat and the father had come to save it by sending away the whore. She really did feel like a whore in that moment. She took another sip of wine before she gave this man her thoughts.

"All you care about is your company, instead of my life. You're trying to get rid of the prostitute and that's fine. I never expected anything less. I see what you're trying to do. Your company is at risk and I'm nothing to you. And if I die in Paris, what do you care?"

She took another sip of the wine.

"Paris?" Carlisle asked with a confused smile.

Next, she took another sip of the wine.

"Yes, let's say I accept your offer and I'm shipped off to Paris. But from what I have heard, James is very smart. Smarter than you. He probably even knew about this plan long before you even thought of it yourself. That's why it's complicated to explain to me why you would offer me millions to make me disappear, isn't it?"

Carlisle seemed perplexed and she took another sip of the wine. Perhaps she should slow down, but the wine was divine and giving her courage.

"You said it's complicated, but the truth is that this is the worst deal!"

She took another sip of wine as she got angry at Edward. In that moment, she knew that he didn't love her. He didn't even like her. Perhaps he did, for a while, but not anymore. Edward cared more about the CC than her, just like his father did.

"The way you're offering me so much money shows me that," she continued. "You must think I'm stupid to not have figured out the truth! When I set foot in Paris, James will be there, and I will be alone, and I will be screwed. I _knew_ there was a catch, because _everything_ that Edward's done has come with a catch and apparently it runs in the genes."

She finished her wine and put it on the table, ready to leave.

"I won't be some tragic death in Paris no one knows about. At least here, people will know I died. Even if it's _just the prostitute_ who died. I'm _really sorry_ my presence is inconvenient for you. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get away from both of you, because I'd rather not be associated with pigs who would send someone straight to death just to save the CC."

With that, she concluded. As she stood up, Edward was the first to speak.

"Wait," he said quickly, his eyes swimming in different emotions.

"You were ready to have him ship me off to _death_ and even called it _the best deal_. Why the hell should I wait?"

"Sit down, Bella, please," Edward said tiredly. "Let me explain."

"Can you?" she said sarcastically. "Or will you try to feed me some more bullshit? I noticed it runs in your family."

"We can both explain, Bella," Carlisle said. "The answers might surprise you."

"Why should I listen to an explanation?" she said, tears in her eyes already.

"Please, Bella," Edward said. "I want you to stay and hear us out."

She was done with these two, but they made her wonder if there was an explanation for what they just pulled on her. She sat down and looked away, because eye contact was too offensive right now.

"I had a theory," Carlisle said. "Edward didn't agree to it. That's why I came over myself to test you."

She felt angry, already not liking where this was going.

"James is smart, as you've said. He would take extraordinary steps to take down the CC. He would find a girl who works for him and have my son fall for her. He would make up her character of an orphan who is in debt and in dire need of money. He would first make her work for Playboy magazine, though. He would do all that. He would create a girl who is as tragic as everything that has happened in your life. _But_ you refused the amount of money James would never be able to offer you. If you truly worked for him, you would have taken it and gone."

"You both think I work for James?" she said, crossing her arms and looking at the table.

"No," Edward said. "I already knew from the start that you're not scheming with James. My father showed up unannounced and unfortunately, he has his own will."

She didn't even feel touched that Edward never doubted her. She was deeply hurt.

"Either I took the money because I worked for James, or I didn't figure out how clever James truly is, and I would've been murdered in Paris. That's unfair."

"Bella, I wouldn't have let you go into that program had I known-"

"That's unfair," she repeated. "Because had I accepted the deal, you two would've thought that I work for James! And I would have been murdered in Paris. Can't you see how cruel that is?"

"We never considered that to be an option," Edward said slowly. "Never thought of it. Even though we should have."

Bella was consumed by so much anger, she was taken aback back those words.

"Even though _I_ should have," Edward said.

"Of all people, you are the one with the highest intelligence," Carlisle said, taking the bottle of wine and filling Bella's glass. "You thought of a scenario neither of us thought of."

She took the glass of wine; he had filled it, so she could drink it, so why not? She needed alcohol anyway to have this conversation.

"We thought of two scenarios," Carlisle continued. "If you worked for James, this act would have made you disappear and James' plans would've been destroyed, because he would've lost his inside woman. And if you didn't work for James, the odds were high you would have taken the money and left. In the meanwhile, Edward would fool James that he no longer loved you and at the same time, tried to bankrupt him. But we never thought of the scenario you mentioned."

Carlisle was watching her seemingly impressed, but she was not feeling it. She wanted to scream at them.

"Good thing I did," she said with a dead smile.

"We didn't see what you did," Edward said. "But I don't doubt your reasoning. James would have probably hacked into the system, found your location."

She shook her head.

"Are you both telling me you didn't think of this?" she said.

"I should have," Edward said. "If I had sent you into death-"

He looked away, his eyes cast away from her.

She found herself wanted to know, _what?_ If Edward had sent me into death, then _what?_ How would that effect him? But his eyes were cast away and she couldn't catch the emotion in there…

It was in that moment she found Carlisle's eyes gazing at her, just as she'd been fixedly staring at Edward.

"I deeply apologize, Bella," Carlisle said. "We know James better then you and we made a mistake to think you'd be safe through a witness safety program."

Edward breathed out hard. "Now that you have tested her, scared her some more, insulted her, perhaps you can go?"

"Yes," Carlisle said. "We are here to help you, Bella. You are not alone."

This man had tested her, and she didn't like him for that reason. Even though he sounded sincere, she didn't feel like ever asking him for help. He stood but before he left, he asked one more question.

"Have you fallen in love with Edward?"

He sounded nonchalant. She felt weak at the sudden invasive question.

Edward eyed his father and said, "She hates me."

Carlisle kept his eyes on Bella and when neither spoke, Edward brought his eyes to Bella. She could feel them on her, but she refused to look at him.

"That's none of your business," she said at last.

Edward brought his confused eyes to Bella's and they both didn't notice when Carlisle gently left them alone.

"I never even stopped," he said, "to think how you feel about me."

She froze. She was again scared, but also embarrassed and feeling lost.

"No," he said quickly, his eyes at conflict. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, or even if you want to tell me that you hate me."

Edward looked up when a waiter came by their table and asked them if they would to order. Bella hadn't even glanced at the menu yet; she believed neither had Edward.

"Can we get another bottle of wine, the same one?" he asked. "We haven't decided yet what we'd like to eat."

"Certainly. Let me know when you've decided."

Bella didn't take the menu from the table yet, because she was thinking how it's not true what Edward thought. And she wanted him to know.

"I don't hate you," she said. "But I honestly don't know how I feel about you."

She didn't know how he would take this, but she waited quietly. She swore he seemed smug. There was nothing to feel smug about, but maybe she was missing something.

"I was expecting hate and anger," Edward said. "Not indecisiveness. Which is actually much better."

"How's that?" she wondered.

"It means it's not too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Us."

She pressed her lips on each other as she thought, _that's what he's smug about._

When the wine came, she instantly started taking quick sips.

"How did this happen?" she said.

He thought for a moment. "My falling for you or James finding out about it?"

She shrugged a little, because honestly, she needed to know _everything_. Maybe then she could make sense of things.

"I'll hand you a timeline of everything that James noticed. But it will be in James' point of view. Bear with me, okay?"

She nodded.

"James knew I bought the Playboy magazines that had you on the cover."

"So? It's not like you're a gentleman."

His lips parted in actual shock.

"What's noticeable about that?" she continued frustratingly. "Men buy Playboy constantly and men like you _definitely_ buy Playboy."

"I never buy Playboy magazine. I only bought it when you were on the cover."

She grew nervous. His eyes had seen so much of that _fake_ body.

"James noticed this movement and noticed the connection - you. Soon he also noticed I sent you an invitation for an interview. He knew-"

"Wait," she said. "Invitation?"

"I sent you that invitation, based on your unsolicited application."

"You-"

She stopped abruptly and wanted to just yell at him.

The day of the interview was still clear as ever to Bella - with him and her in a locked office, money offers for sex, and a questionnaire not based on her grades or work experience, but on her private life. Her interview had been an invasion.

"That's not what you did," she said angrily.

"I know."

They stared at each other, Bella feeling rage and the man in front of her being passive and seemingly uncaring.

"Why are you like this?" she asked.

He scowled the tiniest bit, and Bella knew she would have to elaborate, as men sometimes really were stupid.

"Why did you treat me like a whore? Why did you invite me for a job that didn't even exist in the first place? Why did you purposefully give me those terrible working hours of six days a week, ten hours a day? Why did you ask me so many personal questions? Why did you offer me a job as a janitor?"

"Those are a lot of questions," he commented. "But I wasn't finished yet with the timeline."

"It's just a detour," Bella snapped. "If you want me to believe you, I'll need some answers to those questions."

"Even if you'll hate the answers?"

"Just tell me."

He watched her closely before he replied.

"I believed the media. Everything they said about you. That's why I tested you on that interview. If you were what the media said, then you would've said yes to my offer."

"Testing me?" she asked in a hurt voice.

"Yes."

"Just like your father was testing me in a terrible and unthoughtful way, to make sure whether I'm trustworthy or collaborating with James."

"Yes."

They all _tested_ her. They felt the need to _test_ her because they didn't believe her.

"You weren't what the media said, though. You never accepted the money. In fact, you were abhorred by the idea. And I was fucked. Because you really did want that job and-"

"You _knew_ ," she said with a scowl. "You knew I went on all those interviews and that nobody wanted to hire me."

"I thought you were fucking them for money. I thought I might as well get some too. It's all over the news."

"I stopped reading the news once I realized everything they write is _bullshit_ ," she said. "You invited me…to give me money, and fuck me? That was the reason?"

He said, "Yes. I warned you that you would hate the answers."

"You're admitting to thinking I'm a whore!"

"No, dear. I thought so in the beginning. But the moment I set eyes on you in that elevator, and you snapped your rude question if I saw something I liked, I knew that everything they said about you is a lie."

"No," she said. "In the elevator we hadn't even formally met. The first thing you told me when you brought me to your office-"

"I was only fucking with your mind."

"Why?" she asked desperately. "Was it that enjoyable to get some way of fucking with me, if not physical, then mentally?"

"I really liked pushing your buttons. It was never meant to be harmful to you."

"Yet, it was. Just continue."

"I was fucked," he said a little slowly, "because I didn't have a job, so I just thought of something to fix your rep and help you."

She shook her head. Of course, that didn't make any sense.

"The former Playboy model who goes and works at the prestigious CC?" he said.

"You said during the interview that you wouldn't help me."

"I didn't want people figuring out I hired you to help you. I have my own rep to uphold."

That was mean and insulting, but she kept those thoughts to herself.

"Like I said, I don't make it habit of reading the gossip section of the news," she said. "But I can imagine what the media is telling about me further downgrading myself. I didn't even know about the gossip that I'm a whore now a days."

"Some state we're secretly dating. Some state we're in love."

"How is that beneficial for me?" she asked.

"I'm the CEO of the CC."

She sighed and crossed her arms.

"It doesn't change overnight," he said. "It's not easy to change someone's opinion of you."

"Yes, I can imagine you have so much experience with that. It's not like you just saw me in the elevator and thought instantly, _this girl is not what the media is telling us_. You didn't-"

"Why not?" he asked. "In the elevator you snapped at me, and then you apologized. It was clear as daylight that you hated the way you're being treated and with that I knew the media lied about you. That was it, Bella. I knew."

"You kept trying to seduce me with money," she snapped.

"What's wrong with trying?" he asked, his words shamelessly thrown in her face.

"You treated me like a whore."

"I was observing your reactions."

She was on the point of getting up and leaving.

"I was observing you, Bella, because I wondered if there was _any_ dirt on you, any reason why the media would hate you so much. You can't blame me for that, can you?"

She looked away from him nervously.

"What did you find?" she asked.

"Nothing, except that I'm not the only one who's jealous of you. Aro too. I don't know how you two escalated so quickly, but I'm certain Aro's feelings were involved. Why else would he have turned you in such a scandal?"

She looked down and tried to block a memory she had not thought of for a very long time. _Now_ would certainly not be the time to think of something she had hid in her past.

"Fine," she said curtly. "Continue. You were mean during the interview. Asking personal questions which I had to answer but ignoring the ones I asked you."

"I was curious, and I like power."

"What a jerk you are," she said out loud.

He smiled humourlessly.

"I'll answer whatever questions you ask me now," he said.

"It won't change my opinion of you," she shot back.

"Obviously," he answered. "But that's not why I offered. I only meant that if you have questions, I will answer them. With you, I don't care anymore about power."

There was only one thought running through her mind right now.

"You sent me an invitation to fuck me in your office for money."

"I sent you an invitation, because I liked you."

"Come on! You would have paid me for-"

"I like you, Bella. Even when I had no idea what it meant. I wanted to see you. Even if you were just looking for money by selling your body."

"You're charming," she said sarcastically. "Also, that part where you're being selfish and thinking about only yourself and your own rep is lovely."

"Did you expect me to be your hero?" he said slowly. "Come to save you from your fallen reputation?"

"All, but that," she snapped. "You made it perfectly clear what you wanted from me."

"All I saw for a long time was a girl that was selling her body," he said.

"And you had to have that body."

"How can that even be true? The body on the picture isn't yours."

She looked away.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious," she said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That you only wanted _that_ body. The one that they edited, the one that's been photographed-"

"Well, I'm glad _you_ said it, sweetheart."

"Now I have no idea what you're talking about, _dear_."

"You're so entangled in the idea that I want that body of _Izzy_ , right? The one that's been the main reason men have screamed out _Izzy_ while yanking off?"

 _Oh, God,_ did he have to put it like that?

"Let's say, just for argument's sake, that you accepted the money I offered you and we had sex. With _your_ body. Not the model's. What does that make me? Hmm?"

She could barely speak.

"That would've made me the man that chose _your_ body, not the model's one. Not the edited one. Not the photographed one. I chose you, Bella. I didn't choose Izzy."

"No," she said, "you're just trying-"

"Trying to change your perspective, because you're so damn stubborn into thinking that you know what I want."

"But you would have paid me," she said weakly. "And that's when I'm a whore."

"If you had taken the money, yes, but that would've been an alternative world where you're not the Bella Swan that I have come to know."

She shook her head. Did he have a point?

"If that were the case, you and I wouldn't be here right now, because the woman who would've taken the money would never have had your mentality or class. Despite your debts, and an easy way to have gained fifty grand, you said no. And then you quit your job two times because you couldn't stand me. That calls for strength."

All this... _everything..._ it was related to him being sexually attracted to her.

 _Her._

Bella Swan.

She thought of her ghost in her closet.

She thought also of the part where Edward and she had sex. She really did, and this is what she came up with;

"If we have sex, it will be disappointing to you."

And she was a little scared for admitting that.

He took her hand in his, and gently lifted it to his lips to kiss her fingers. Her body filled with shock. She didn't know this better side of him.

It was almost comforting...

"Shut the fuck up, Bella."

 _Then he had to say something like that._

"I could be," she argued quietly. "I've been so before."

"No," he said, his eyes disbelieving.

"I have," she insisted.

She told him the one secret she had kept with her. It's something no one knew.

"I want you to know something about me. I've only done it once. You know him... We were having diner, and one thing led to another…"

"Aro?" he guessed correctly. "You had sex with Aro?"

Bella was deeply ashamed and nodded her head.

"Where?" he asked.

"In his office," she said with a little cringe. "He bent me over his desk..."

Edward watched her dryly.

She could imagine very well that he was currently reminiscing the first thing he told her on their interview, that he had many fantasies of her naked body on his desk and his desire to do whatever he wanted.

It would seem so this had also been Aro's fantasy - one that was now fulfilled.

"Classy, Miss Swan. You lost your virginity to Aro while being bent over his desk. Very classy."

He didn't sound quite amused.

"Did you come?" he asked.

Her lips parted in shock at the question, but he seemed intent on getting an answer.

"No," she said.

He nodded, and she wasn't sure why.

"Afterwards he said you're the worst lay and left you on his desk for you to fend for yourself?"

She could feel her eyes widen, because that indeed happened.

"Were you naked?" he asked.

"Yes..."

"Let me guess. He only unzipped his pants."

"Yes."

"And you believed him."

"What?"

"That he would want more from you and not just sex."

"How do you know all this?" she snapped. "It's like your spirit was there, watching the whole thing."

"It's a common scenario. You would know if you had more knowledge of the sort."

"What's that supposed-"

"He took you from behind, Bella. It's fucking, it's grabbing the girl's body by waist or shoulders, pounding into her, no eye contact, no facial expressions, no connection, nothing. He took you, he came, you didn't, he left, and that's it. Though I'm not saying it's a bad position, it's hardly one you'd want when doing it for the first time, or when trying to be sentimental with Aro."

Those were about fifteen daggers he just stabbed her with and the effect was clear.

Now, it wasn't necessarily that he was hurting her...just the way he portrayed the truth and made Bella realize that her first experience was also her worst experience, based on everything Edward just said.

"How would you know all this?" she said, trying to save her dignity.

"It's my favourite position."

Bella closed her eyes.

 _No connection._ There _had_ to be a reason why Edward never had a relationship. The way he spoke made her think perhaps he wasn't truthful.

"And what would you know about the right position when you're doing it for the first time, or when you're trying to be sentimental with someone? What happened to you? Did you once connect too deeply, and now you put up this facade that you're unattached to every living being? Or-"

 _She had one more important hypothesis..._

But he didn't let her finish.

"I'm not lying, Bella. Just because I know shit, doesn't mean I've had a relationship."

"Not lying..." she repeated. "You're telling me you're always honest with me?"

"Sure."

She nodded first. Then she gave him the hypothesis she thought might be true.

"Are you scared of connecting? Is that why you love to take them from behind?"

She thought she saw him tense and she thought she knew why; this hypothesis might be true... It was something she came up just now and she was damn proud of herself for coming up with the idea. For now, she let him think about her words.

"Bella," he said slowly. "My parents are married happily. Both my brothers are married happily. I'm the odd one out. Is there a logical explanation? You had sex with a man who then treated you like shit. Can you explain that for me?"

"Maybe all the obvious daddy issues emerged from under the table and I was looking for any romance to make up for the loss of my parents. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Bella-"

" _Anyway_ , I told you this because you have to know I could be your worst experience."

"I wouldn't compare you to the women I've been with," he said with a scoff.

"You would," she said. "It's inevitable."

"I don't believe Aro," he said. "You don't have sex with a virgin, then call her the worst."

"That's how it went."

"Hmm, if I recall correctly, you said during our interview that he offered you money for sex. So, can I assume you took it?"

 _Oh, my God._

She wanted to kill him. That feeling lasted very shortly.

His assumption truly hurt.

She was angry with him, angry for allowing him to hurt her, but also angry with herself.

"Why would you use women like that?" Bella snapped, referring to all the women Edward had been.

"I don't use them. They come to me and they let me fuck them. Sometimes they beg me to fuck them. I have never used them. On the other hand, Aro used you, or else you wouldn't have made that accusation to me. Don't blame me for what he took. Don't blame me for your past infatuation with Aro. Were you expecting a romance with the director of Playboy? A relationship? Come on, Bella. Perhaps living my life isn't that bad, seeing how the hope for a relationship can be plainly stupid."

"Either you just called yourself stupid - because if you truly like me, I assume you'd want a relationship with me and I assure you, Edward, that you are going to need a lot of _hoping_ before I can even _consider_ having a relationship with you. _Or_ you don't really like me. It's not love, but lust. And all you hope for as that I come to you and let you fuck me."

He took a deep breath and shook his head. Oh, yeah, he looked just as irritated as she was.

They were both a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

"I don't even want to hear the answer," she said. "Because I already know."

She looked away and was exhausted. It was the kind of tired that couldn't be cured with sleep.

"I'm glad your life is amazing," she started as she tried to smile. "You have your job, your reputation, your money, your women, your family."

She turned her eyes to him and he had only narrowed his.

"My parents' divorce was brutal. I was seven. My dad only criticized me. My mom barely noticed me. I don't have any siblings. My mom moved around a lot, so I ended up in a lot of places. It was a mess. Going from elementary to elementary to high school to another high school. Not that many friendships can be made if you're only a few months in town each time. A few holidays I spent with my dad, but we didn't...connect."

 _There was that word again._

"With no social life I did manage to graduate at 17. I moved to Washington then. Started college. My parents died. It was stupid. They were organizing a surprise party for my 18th birthday. There was a bad Washington September downpour...the car slipped. Despite their divorce and previous fights, they were planning a surprise birthday party for me."

It sounded good and sweet, but the reality of Bella's life wasn't.

"Instead I got two funerals a few days before my 18th birthday. And a sky-high debt. Because apparently, they didn't have their shit in order. Happy birthday, Bella. Finished college at 20. By then I was being choked by those debts. I was threatened by my landlord. That feeling of being pushed into a corner was excruciating. I knew that the money I would make as a creative writer would never help with those debts."

It seemed like decades ago, though the truth was it was no more than a year ago.

"Found myself a job at Playboy. Had some success. Felt nice, I guess. Aro seemed kind, only turned out to be terrible. I didn't see that coming. My self-respect is not that low that I wouldn't have said no to sex if I'd known how horrible he truly is. When it happened, I really thought he's a good man."

Edward glanced away, and Bella spoke a little louder to catch his attention again.

"At least you've had _good_ sex. At least you still have your reputation. At least you still have everything. But I don't. I'm sorry that my worst and only sexual experience was to a man who now ruined my life forever. I'm sorry this makes you jealous and bothers you so much, that you insult and hurt me, _again_. I'm sorry I accused you, but you're right...he did use me. And called me the worst afterwards. And then fired me. He fired me because we had bad sex."

Her heart broke again, and she sunk a little in her seat, feeling devastated.

She was feeling stupid for telling him everything, but especially for making the comparison. She didn't like to compare, but it seemed to be the only way to show him that there was a difference between her life and his life; and he should be happy, because his life was good.

"You told me on your interview that he fired you because you didn't accept his offer?" Edward asked with a scoff. "You told me he wanted to give you money for sex? And when you declined, he slapped you. I've seen the bruises on the pictures."

"I lied to you during the interview," Bella said. "He never made an offer to have sex with me for money. I told you that, because the truth was something I didn't want anyone to know."

She could tell he was quickly processing everything.

"He fired me almost right after we had sex."

He took her hand again, just like he did so previously when he kissed her fingers. She wondered why he took her hand this time; he certainly must have become too repulsed by her story to kiss her hand again.

When she looked up, she saw that he did bring her hand to his lips. There he kissed the back of her hand. Bella was immobile as he made this movement, which lasted for at least several seconds.

He brought his hands to his lap and took possession of her now twice kissed right hand.

"What about that bruise?" he asked.

"After he fired me, I told him to get over it. I asked him to not fire me, and that's when…he hits very hard."

His face was hard, angry.

"I'm sorry I lied during the interview," she said.

"No," he said, also his voice hard. "Don't say sorry."

She was taken aback by his stance. He seemed clearly upset, but he still held her hand in his.

"Did he..." Edward began, his tone serious. "Were you turned on enough for him to have sex with you?"

"Turned on enough?"

"Wet enough."

 _Huh?_

"Uh..."

"Did it hurt?" he asked instead.

"Oh...it wasn't without pain...first time always hurts I guess?"

He smiled bitterly.

"Maybe," he said. "Briefly at the most. Next, you should feel pleasure."

"Oh."

"Did you feel pleasure?"

This talk was more intense and more personal than any other experience in her life.

This was so much more intimate.

"Did you?" he persisted.

She shook her head.

"How selfless, Bella."

He looked down at their hands.

"I wasn't thinking! I was stupid. _Very_ stupid."

"Did he use a condom?"

"I did mention it..." she said in vain.

"He said it feels better without it. And you consented."

"He also said it's better for first times. Really, why would any girl like that? Everything was a _mess_ afterwards."

And by mess, she meant literally a mess, dripping down her legs...

"I mean, I had to run to the bathroom," she said in a whispered voice. "It was actually a little disgusting."

Why would she tell him that?

Well, he probably knew about it anyhow. He must have had sex with women without a condom before. Though, his sexual encounters were women he would briefly spend time with, so a condom would be wise to prevent...

"STD's?" he asked briefly, almost as if he read her mind.

"Would your attraction for me stop if I told you yes?" she said. "Or did it stop when I told you I had sex with Aro? Or did it stop when I told you after that sex, Aro-"

"STD's can damage your chances of having children," he said. "That, and other health problems too, of course."

She knew STD's are bad, but she didn't know the details. That part about having children was new to her. She took a deep breath.

"Why were you pre-med?" she blurted out.

"That's a conversation for later," he said with a vague grin.

"No STD's," she answered weakly. "I got a test."

He was quiet then.

She was about to pull her hand out of his bigger and stronger ones. When he felt the thug, he held on tighter.

She sighed, confused at why he would still want to hold her hand after telling him all that.

"I know I'm not perfect. You really weren't expecting this, were you?"

He pushed her hair behind her ear and she was surprised to see him watching her with adoration. His hand slid over her neck, around her shoulders and he laid his arm around her. With his other hand, he still held unto her hand.

Did she not just tell him all the horrible things she'd done with Aro?

It seemed like the more she told him about her flaws, the more he was drawn to her.

"Beside your previous lack of judgement in Aro's foul personality, as for your insecurities about you meeting up to my _highly_ _standardized_ _sexual_ _needs_ , I might say that you are perfect."

He said _highly standardized sexual needs_ in a mock tone.

That wasn't that important right now.

He called her perfect.

The hand on her shoulder started running circles around her collarbone.

"Very sometimes," she said quietly. "You can be charming."

He smiled as he said, "Do you want to order? Seeing as we haven't even ordered yet..."

The truth was; she was drained from all her energy.

But she was too scared to be alone.

"Can we go instead?" she said. "I don't want to stay here."

"Sure..." he said. "I can take you home."

He didn't hear it... He didn't hear when she asked him, can _we_ go. Not her, but them.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," she said. "What if something happens?"

He watched her sadly. "We have you covered, Bella. There are people watching you."

She nodded, thought she still felt unsure.

"Come home with me?" he said.

She looked down, too nervous of Edward to say yes, but too scared of James to say no. However, this is what she wanted, right? To not be alone.

Edward waved for the waiter, gave him his credit card and glanced back at me.

"I've never brought any of those women to my place..." he said quietly. "You would be the first."

"Oh, in that case..." she said nervously.

"I live in a condo," he said. "It's nothing majestic. I have a spare bedroom. You can take a shower. I'm sure I have clothes that would fit you. In the morning you decide whether you're ready for me to drive you back home, or if you need to stay at my place for another night, a week, or forever."

As he said the last words, he laughed a little, and so did Bella, but she had a feeling that he really wasn't joking.

The waiter arrived with Edward's credit card and he bid them goodnight.

"Say yes," he said. "I'll be better."

Bella glanced at Edward, still unsure. She thought of the beginning of their conversation, and the _gigantic_ detour.

"You were giving me a timeline, remember?"

"I remember," he said with amused eyes.

And he knew she needed time before telling him whether she was physically and mentally able to join him to his place. Therefore, he told her the rest.

"James' perspective," Edward said. "Basically, he knew everything. The exact date of when you had your interview, our e-mails sent to one another, the deposits. I told you a few days ago that the messages in our e-mails are encrypted. It would appear so that I had underestimated the power and _motivation_ for James to hack into our accounts."

"He read all those e-mails?" she muttered in shock.

"Most likely. Then the major one; I brought you home. I suspect he has spies, walking around to catch a glimpse of us. A spy must've been in the elevator and that's when I made that comment about us going out. James was by now thinking, _'why would he drive her home?'_. More pictures, of you and I both. Your jump out of the car. Of course he couldn't _hear_ all our conversations, but the things he saw must've seen were confusing him. Another thing my e-mail contained; your 10% raise."

"How can you be sure all this?"

"Some of it is speculation, of course. Well, next day I took you home a second time and this time, I walked you to your door. More photos."

"It's not necessarily obvious that you-"

"A man who offers his free time willingly to drive a girl home, and _nothing more_ \- it's pretty obvious that something is going on there."

She felt desperate and helpless. She pulled her hand out of his.

"What is obvious?" she asked. "All I remember are your attempts to want to have sex with me!"

"That night you made the comment about Playboy making pictures and hoping to catch something juicy. Here's the ironic part. James was hoping for anything but juice. He wanted to see what he eventually saw: that I walked you to your door and that I didn't go inside with you."

"All the time, we were arguing!" she said through gritted teeth.

"What are words when action speaks so much louder? I didn't lay a finger on you. Plus, he's done more hacking. He saw the two large deposits I made to your bank account. I'm certain he's seen the messages too. And he's probably thinking why I haven't fired you. If it were anyone else, I would have."

"No..."

"He saw a man who gave a desperate girl a job, a raise and a ride home twice, and a deposit of fifty grand _twice_. He saw I gave you a morning and the next day off."

She could see that for any other person that it would seem obvious - that this behaviour showed the one where a man is interested.

"Today he showed his face for just the final bit of proof. He caught your attention and made sure to gauge my reaction. And by doing so, he made me realize how I feel about you."

She glanced away. In the CC when he said those things... it felt just odd. Now it felt heavy. His feelings for here were something very present between them, and she was undecided about her own.

She asked about James at the beginning of this conversation, but he may have given her something else. The answer as to why he fell for her.

 _No_.

She didn't know how and when that happened. She knew it _did_ happen, but why her?

"Why do you like me?" she asked, as a way of speaking out her mind.

He gave her a strange look.

"Why?" he asked. "Why did you consider going out with James? Why did you like Aro to the point you chose to let him fuck your virginity out of you?"

Why did he make everything sound so disgusting and why did it hurt each time he spoke?

"Take me home," she said shakily as she stood up. "Better yet... call me a taxi please and I'll... I'll wait on a reasonable distance from you where the words coming from your mouth won't make it to my ears and the daggers you keep shooting will finally stop hurting me."

"Fuck," he said, as if he only just realized how hard his words were. "I'll give you something."

She wondered if she should even ask him what that meant or if she should take a run for it.

"Please sit," he said. "I don't want you to leave."

"And I don't want you to make me feel cheap and miserable, but we can't always get what we want. How many times have you hurt me now? Eight times? Nine? I've seriously lost count."

"If something ever happens," he said, "anything, doesn't matter what. And you need help. I'll be there for you. No questions asked, no explanation needed. I'll give you this. But in exchange, please don't give up on me yet."

"I don't think I'll ever need any help from you."

"I'm saying I owe you. For whatever you need."

"Why?"

"Because I'm thoughtless and the way I talk to you is not a reflection of how I feel about you."

"The way you talk is offensive. Don't you have a filter? _Fuck me virginity out of me_? Who speaks like that?"

He didn't respond, and in that moment, he seemed lost.

He had no manners, he was rude, he was - like he said, thoughtless.

"Don't give up on me, Bella," he said.

"You owe me big time," she said.

"I owe you big time," he repeated.

"Fine..." she said. "Fine, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Again."

 _He owed her._ She would never forget.

"Thank you," he said. "And to answer your question. You asked me why I like you. Is there ever an explanation? Do you have an explanation about how you felt when you were with someone you liked?"

It had something to do with... charm, humour, attraction, making her feel special, and chemistry? But a direct answer?

 _No._

"Fine, there's not really an explanation, but hurting someone you supposedly like... I mean, come on. Clearly you're angry with me."

"Angry? For what?"

"Because I was stupid that day with Aro."

"You're not stupid."

"You sounded very bitter. There ought to be a reason for why you said that."

He laughed a little darkly and shook his head. He turned very serious.

"Of course, I was bitter when I mentioned Aro," he said. "You told me he took you without using protection on his desk and you didn't even come."

She looked down ashamed.

"Now your imagination of sex is forever fucked up. I'd have rather you told me you've slept with ten men who gave you good sex, then what you just told me about Aro."

"Ten," she said shakily. "I'm only twenty-one."

"Still."

"Why?"

"It's fucked up Bella. If you told me you've had good sex, I would've gotten jealous. Now I'm just pissed off at the asshole who used you."

"You're angry?"

"Pissed off," he corrected. "I can't be held accountable for what I'll do to him if I ever meet him."

She was nervously toying with her fingers. She was thinking about his gun.

"You wouldn't kill him, right?" she whispered.

"The idea is tempting," he said with a chuckle. "But no."

She smiled while feeling awkward.

"I don't know what to say," she said at last.

"Come with me," he said. "We'll order pizza."

He took her hand and got out of his seat. She did too.

 _Again,_ there was that weird moment of him ordering her, and she felt the impulse to comply.

When they had entered the restaurant, Bella had been clinging onto Edward. Now it was Edward who had his arm around Bella, to keep her close to his side.

"I thought you had a reputation to uphold," she said.

"I thought it's obvious that I no longer care about my reputation ever since I told you how I feel about you."

"Oh..."

"I know that I'm the worst person to be around with right now, but I will keep you safe. That's all I want for now."

* * *

She felt a piercing tension in his car. It was making Bella go mad. He was driving her to a part of Washington she'd never been before. She didn't recognize the surroundings or buildings. Her voice would shake if she spoke now and she didn't want him to know how much he was affecting her.

He often glanced at her and she tried to ignore it. She made a move to just stare out the window and hope the ride would soon be over.

She took her phone from her bag and gave it a look. She had two new messages.

 _My number. Save it in your phone. - Emmett_

 _Is he behaving himself? - Emmett_

These were sent hours ago; she could not believe it was already nearing ten o'clock.

She texted back with;

 _Surprisingly yes. He's taking me to his place...should I change my mind? - Bella_

She didn't expect a response very soon, seeing that it was late and that he was a married man.

The phone of Edward went off, and he pressed something in his car to pick up his phone - she guessed it was connected to his car.

"Emmett," Edward said. "You're on loudspeaker."

Bella tensed, thinking, _Why is he calling Edward?_

"If you touch that girl tonight, Edward, I will make sure she is the last one you'll ever touch."

Bella let herself sink deeper into her seat and felt terrible. Emmett could not have made a far worse decision than calling up his little brother and threatening him when the case concerned sex between them.

"We're just ordering take-out. Care to join us? Take Rosalia with you."

"It's still _Rosalie_ to you, little Cullen," she heard a girl's voice say with a slight accent.

"Sure thing, Rosalia. Care for a pizza?"

"Listen, _boy_ ," Rosalie said. "Emmett made a friend, and his friends are my concern too. If you hurt Emmett's friends, you'll have me and a pair of scissors to castrate you with."

"I don't understand why you and Emmett are both not just accepting my invitation. If I'm scum, then come over and make sure I don't fuck up."

"It's ten o'clock, bro," Emmett said. "It's obvious what your plans are, and I can't let that happen."

"Of course, you know my plans, I just told them to you; eat pizza."

"I want to rip your head off, Edward," Rosalie said.

"She's been through a lot, Edward," Emmett said. "I heard what dad did."

Ah, yes, Carlisle testing her to see if she is working with James.

Bella really felt like she should intervene. It was her they were talking about after all. Even a woman she had never met was vouching for her.

"Are you mad?" Bella asked Edward, not caring the telephone was still one.

Edward glanced at Bella, first with a scoff, but then he smiled a little when he noticed her face. She was dying with anxiousness and worry.

"Why would I be?" he asked.

"Come on..." she said, as it was obvious what she meant.

"Tell me," he said.

 _Again_ , that impulse to comply at his command. What was wrong with her?

"Because I told Emmett you're taking me to your place."

What was happening to her?

"So?" he asked.

"Now they're..."

She pointed at the phone, to point the obvious.

"I'm not mad at you, Bella. But for whatever reason you felt the need to tell Emmett, I just want you to know that you're the boss."

No, that's not how this felt. It felt a lot like he had all the strings in his hand and did to her body and mind whatever he wanted.

"I say jump, you jump?" she joked.

"I'm your slave, Miss Swan."

She heard a whistle... either Emmett or Rosalie.

"They obviously think you want more from me tonight."

"Yeah, but if Emmett and Rosalie would stop and think for a minute, they would know that I've never brought anyone over to my place before. My condo is a virgin."

"That is true," Emmett said.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Emmett," Bella said. "And you too... Rosalie."

"Don't be silly, Bella, and we will do a formal meeting soon," Rosalie said. "Don't hesitate to call us! That Edward…"

"Bella, you didn't bother me!" Emmett said. "I have known my little brother much longer than you and I can provide all the gory details."

"Emmett..." Edward warned.

"Come on, Edward. Tell her your little fear. For the sake of... well, simply, because if you don't, I will."

"Seriously, Emmett..."

"You know which one I'm talking about," Emmett continued. "You told me not too long ago, at the bar, when you were drunk..."

"Do you want me to traumatize Bella?"

She snapped her head away from the conversation, looking into the dark.

 _What the hell were they talking about? Fears? Traumatizing?_

"You were an idiot this afternoon and she deserves to know. It's the least you can give her."

"Fine, I'll tell her now. But not with you listening in."

He pressed the phone off without saying goodbye.

There was yet another tense atmosphere in the car. And Bella went at it again.

"I'm really sorry," she began. "I would get it if you were angry. I just saw a text from Emmett and I-"

"I'm not angry with you. You don't need to apologize."

"But I feel like now you and Emmett are fighting and clearly he now holds this secret thing above your-"

"Don't worry, dear. I'm happy you don't have _nothing_ in your life. You have Emmett. You two have... bonded. It's cute."

"Okay... thanks. But whatever Emmett is now holding over your head-"

"It's okay, Bella. I don't mind telling you. It's actually related to a question you asked me earlier tonight. Whether I'm scared of connection."

She thought back and remembered how he said that he's the odd one out, because his parents and both his brothers are happily married.

"The truth is, my parents married at a young age, and so did Emmett and Jasper, to Rosalie and Alice. They were still teenagers. After I became twenty-one and still hadn't met anyone whom I felt even the slightest feelings for, I decided to give the idea of love and marriage up. It felt forced to me anyhow. My family was the perfect example of a good and happy life, while I was the opposite - parties, narcotics and women."

 _Narcotics?_

"You're not scared, then," Bella said. "Just hopeless."

He hummed.

"That's not really something to keep a secret, right?"

"No, it's not. It's the part where I might've wanted it some time in my life, but never found it, that I just acquired this _fuck it_ attitude and did whatever I did, with whomever I wanted to."

"Still not secret worthy."

"And then I would someday, according to my family, come across someone whom I would most likely lose, because which respectful, classy woman would want to marry a man like me?"

She froze.

 _Marry._

 _Marriage._

 _In holy matrimony._

"And when I finally met the only one whom I ever wanted would be gone without ever truly having her and I could have prevented that if I lived a better life in my twenties."

She swallowed nervously.

This is how badly he wanted her? He was talking about her though, right?

"That may have come off as slightly more intense than I intended to," he said. "I'm not saying, though, I probably am... But don't feel pressure. Please, don't feel pressure."

Talk about a bomb drop.

"Marriage?" she croaked out.

"I thought the other part would be more shocking."

"I probably didn't catch that... _which part_?"

He sighed.

"Wait," he said, parking his car.

He shut it off and turned himself to her.

"It's already been mentioned several times, but I never told you this myself directly."

"Tell me what?"

Truth be told, she was frightened. What was she missing?

"I love you."

She shook her head, opened her mouth, disagree, doubt, speechless...

He placed his index finger on her lips and said.

"No need to respond, believe it or even think about it," he said. "Just know that this is how I feel about you. I won't say it again or talk about it, until you want to. Until then, consider it said and forgotten."

He pulled out his car keys and stepped out of the car. Bella walked out too and stood on wobbly legs.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked. "You don't look okay. You've paled."

"It doesn't make sense..."

She leaned against his car, mostly because she felt faint.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Everything is going too fast! I can't think. It feels like my life is in a train, swiftly passing my body that's outside of the train, watching but never processing..."

"Just forget it," he said quickly. "Forget I told you. It's not even important. I just said it because it means I'm all in, I'm serious, I'm here, I care-"

He stopped abruptly as he seemed to watch her face.

"But judging from your looks," he said, "that makes this situation even worse. Bella, I'm sorry. Can you please try and come inside? Because, inside... that's where the train station is. The train stops, and you can think and process everything at your own pace."

"I can't..." she muttered, her head swaying.

He sighed, saying, "I shouldn't have told you."

"I feel faint..." she responded.

"Do you need to sit?"

"I might faint..."

"Bella?"

And briefly, the world did go black and her body was tightly held be Edward, who had come to catch her.

"Bella, you should lie down."

"Because you're suddenly the know it all, because apparently the CEO was pre-med?" she said jokingly, as she remembered Edward telling Carlisle earlier tonight. "I really imagine you would be like Dr. House if you had continued that path to become a doctor."

"Probably," he agreed. "I'm happy you found something to mock me with. Probably also the wine kicking in."

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine. Let's go."

"Where?"

"I thought you were taking me to your place."

"I thought you said, not even a minute ago, that you can't come inside with me."

"No, silly goose. I meant I couldn't walk because I was feeling faint."

"Did you call me a silly goose?"

She was trying to come up with a legit answer.

"Anyway," she said. "This happens to me all the time. I'm feeling better."

The part where she said that she was feeling better was a lie. She wasn't.

The part where this happened to her _all the time_ was also a lie. The first and only time she fainted was when the police officers knocked on her door, she was only seventeen, and they told her about the accident, and that her parents had been found dead.

Overall, her body was very well accustomed to stress. In fact, she often moved when there was panic. There was so many people who would freeze and become unable to do or say anything, but not Bella.

Only when the stress was too high for even Bella, that's when she would faint.

Today was the second time she fainted in her entire life.

But Edward didn't need to know that.


	9. Chapter 8: Wicked

A/N: thank you for the reviews! You guys make me laugh so often. Listen to the following song, somewhere along the half of the chapter, I think it might help...

Wicked Game - Chris Isaac.

Hold your breath... and enjoy.

* * *

 **Chapter 8 - Wicked**

She felt weak from her previous faint and even though her steps were slow, much too slow for Edward, he seemed to have adapted his pace to fit hers.

She found herself in a strange elevator - what about it was different? For one, it was a very neat elevator. The mirrors were clean. It smelled nice. However odd, those were the things she noticed first. There was still something odd about the elevator, though she couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

The buttons indicated a total of thirty floors. Edward had pressed the top floor's button... She knew the ride upstairs would take long, but then she couldn't help but wonder that the view from his window must be magnificent. She never gave Edward Cullen a thought before this as to where he lived, what his room would look like, what he kept in open view and what not.

They reached his floor and the doors slid open. She narrowed her eyes at the odd scenery. They were looking directly into a living room. Where was the hallway, that usually appeared when elevator doors slid open?

The both stepped into his condo, with Bella still puzzled.

But before he had a chance to ask, something terrible happened. A barking brown monster came running in their direction.

"No!" Bella yelled.

"Stay," Edward said, and the dog commanded - quite perfectly.

Then he turned around, as Bella had walked back into the elevator with her back pressed into the elevator wall.

"Didn't I tell you I have a dog?" Edward said with his hands in his pockets, his eyes amused.

 _Was he kidding?!_

"No!" she snapped, her voice trembling.

As the elevator doors slid shut, Edward stepped forward to stand between the doors to prevent them from closing. Bella wouldn't have minded that; she wanted to be away from that monster.

"Are you scared of dogs?" he asked.

"They never like me, and they always attack me," she said.

With that, she didn't quite answer his question.

"She won't," he said. "Come inside."

She felt a little pull to do as he said, but she didn't think of that now. She instantly understood why he commanded her so much. It was because of that dog. When you have a dog, you use a lot of commands.

Bella looked at the dog. She knew the breed. It was a German Sheppard.

"What if your dog goes crazy on me?" she said.

"She won't," he said. "Come here, Hailey."

The dog sprang to life and Bella wanted to bolt. When the dog reached Bella, she saw those big brown eyes watch Bella curiously. Bella kept both her hands high, near her chest.

Edward stepped forward and patted the dog's back.

"Now will you come inside?" he asked, watching her expectantly.

The only reason she did, was to escape the staring dog.

"Is it safe in this building?" she asked. "Anyone can just come up..."

"Didn't you see the guards at the entrance of the flat?" he asked. "Also, you need a key for the doors to open at your floor."

And to make his point, he showed her a key card.

"Nobody can get in here and when someone comes over, I have to unlock the elevator doors for them to slid open. It's safe here, okay?"

She was a little distracted by that dog to fully absorb his words, but he said something about safe and for now that was plenty. She had stepped out of the elevator and instead of feeling welcome, felt like an invader instead. There was so much yet unsolved in her life. She had so many questions, so little answers.

She turned around and found him right before her. She gasped at his proximity. He looked amused. She wondered what about her he found so amusing...she felt an unusual amount of nerves taking over.

She jumped into his side when she felt something hot and wet touch her hand palm. The dog had licked her.

"Shit!" she said in fright. "What's wrong with your dog?'

Edward laughed when she went to stand away from both of them.

"She likes you," he said. "That doesn't happen often."

"What do you mean?"

"Usually she hates other people."

That information was new to her...and it unnerved her even more.

"How can you tell?" she asked nervously.

"The growling."

She watched him in shock. "You told me-"

"She listens to me," he said. "I make sure she doesn't attack visitors."

The window sill had been organised into a seating area and Edward sat down. He took out his phone.

"I don't know about you, but I'm starving," he said, scrolling through his phone.

The dog was unnerving her.

"The dog is staring at me," she said.

"Just sit, Bella."

That was a good idea. That would create some distance between her and the dog too. She sat on the window sill opposite of him, kicking off her shoes and bringing her legs up to her chest; this created a shield against the dog.

"Do you want pizza too or something else?"

"Sure. Pizza is good."

That's when she realized that she was sitting by a window. She glanced outside and was in time to hold back a gasp.

The skyline was breath-taking. She could see so much and beyond. They could even see mount Washington. Most buildings were lit, creating small dots of lights against the dark.

Edward gave her his phone and she took it carefully.

"Choose," he said.

She watched him briefly, to see if he even noticed he was commanding her so much. He looked outside, which gave Bella the conclusion that he didn't have a clue. She scrolled through the list of choices. She had no appetite at all but chose something even though she wasn't truly sure of what it was - as the pizza place he ordered from was one she didn't even recognize and most likely expensive. She was about to hand Edward back the phone.

In that minute, the dog jumped on the window sill and sat between Edward and Bella. The dog's head was pointed in Bella's direction, coming closer to her.

"No!" she said, using the phone and her own legs as a shield. "Remove your damn dog, Cullen!"

"Hailey, down," he ordered. "Hailey!"

The dog put its heavy head on top of Bella's knees and watched her sadly, with her ears drawn back.

"I'm sorry," Edward said quickly. "She always listens."

The dog did a small, brief whine and Bella's heart made a little jump. It was the combination of those big brown eyes that made Bella fall just a little in love with the dog.

 _Just like that._

Edward was about to give the dog another warning, so she would go away - this one involving a shove with both his hands, but he stopped when Bella brought her hand to the dog's head.

She was slow and barely touching the dog, because she was still scared - until the dog didn't make a sound or twitch a muscle. That's when she brought her fingers deeper into her fur and felt how soft the dog was.

The dog...Hailey...crawled a little closer to Bella and removed her head, only to rest it on Bella's lap. Bella looked up at Edward, only he wasn't watching Bella. His eyes were low, on Hailey.

"Well, you officially ruined my dog," he said at last. "She stopped listening to me and now she's chosen her favourite person."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, though she was a little amused by the dog's proximity and kindness.

"She's never sat that close to me."

"Maybe because you order her around, like you order me around," she said. "You shouldn't be so commanding."

He scoffed. She would have to explain it to him.

"You often say stuff like, _come_ , _sit_ , _tell me, choose_ , you know? Basically, you've been treating me like your dog. Or haven't you noticed?"

"I order you around? Does it bother you?"

"No, but-"

"In that case, you like to be ordered around and I like to order you around."

She should have said, yes, it bothers me a lot. She shook her head. To be honest, she thought about it. Because each time he did order her, she did feel this strange compelling force take over her body. Did that make her this weak person, or even _a dog_ who was born to obey commands?

The thought frightened her. Why would she even think such a terrible thing?

"Hailey gets me," Bella said instead, using the dog's name for the first time.

Hailey looked up at Bella, probably because she heard her name being called, and blinked. Bella brought her fingers into Hailey's fur again.

"Anyway," he said. "Now that you've stolen my dog, I'm going to lick my wounds with a shower."

His tone suggested that he was only joking. Hailey didn't even look at Edward as he went and disappeared into a room that was the shower.

She never knew dogs could be so kind. This one was so silent and gentle. It was exactly what Bella needed. Could the dog sense that?

When she gave the condo another good look, she noticed a big closet filled with books. She gave Hailey one last pat before getting up and softly walking over to it. Hailey followed her. She let her eyes fall over the titles. She smiled at the titles she had read too. Surprisingly, most she didn't recognize. There was one she did find interesting and she couldn't help herself when she went to free it from where it was jammed.

It had been so long ago when she first read this one. It was a little strange, but she had been fifteen then and remembered that she adored this book. With that book in her hands, she went to sit on the window sill again. She tried to read, but her mind was too occupied. In the end, she only placed the book on top of her knees and tried to empty her mind with the view.

Until she thought of rumours.

She knew she shouldn't do it, but her body had already decided for her as it reached for her phone and looked up her own alter ego - Izzy Dwyer.

The headlines and stories were worse than she could have imagined.

 _"Isabella (Bella) Swan - better known as former Playboy model Izzy Dwyer, is delusional with probably mental instabilities. Schizophrenia is mentioned as an option, considering her behaviour and family history..."_

No. Nothing about her behaviour suggested schizophrenia or any other mental disorder for that matter. And how low could they stoop to mention family history? It wasn't even true.

 _"...dating Edward Cullen, for money and sex..."_

 _"...working at the CC, in hopes of having a feel of Edward..."_

 _"...careful to not ruin prestigious CEO Edward Cullen with her dirt..."_

 _"...Izzy is using her current boss, CEO Edward Cullen, but he repeatedly pushes her away, disinterested and uncaring for her..."_

 _"...whoring her way up, which won't work..."_

 _"...to earn money the easy way, all you need to do is be like Izzy Dwyer; be a cheap prostitute..."_

 _"...and she sometimes fucks for free, which might suggest her instability even more..."_

 _"...it's disgusting and cheap, the way Izzy's been behaving..."_

 _"...uneducated and untrained, she now thinks of herself highly, only because she used to work for Playboy..."_

 _"...can't simply see that she is unwanted..."_

Edward had finished his shower, because she heard him speak to her.

"There's something about a bookworm and a window sill."

 _"...she would do the world much good by simply disappearing..."_

Her face had been hidden from his view and for that she was glad. The stories had crushed her spirit. She brought her fingers to her cheeks to wipe away the fallen tears and hopped of the sill.

"Can I use your bathroom?" she said in a broken voice.

"What happened?"

His concerned voice triggered her pain. Right now, she didn't need his opinion.

She noticed that he was only wearing a pair of dark sweats. She could not deny that he was truly handsome and that she had to pull herself together to speak to him.

"None of your business."

She didn't wait for his answer whether she could use his bathroom. She walked straight for the door he had just come out.

"You're crying, Bella."

He stepped in front of her when she was about to walk past him, blocking her way.

"Tell me what happened."

"Get out of my way."

She walked around him and this time he didn't block her.

"Bella, tell me."

"Or else what? You'll hit a wall again? Maybe break a few bones? Show me again how little temper you truly have?"

She reached the bathroom and wondered if he would stop her once more.

"Alright. Take a shower. Put on some of the clothes I put there for you. Call me if you need anything."

She glanced back, only to see that he had turned his back to her and was walking to a different room. His unexpected kind words struck a chord in Bella. She was touched at his patience, when instead he could have chosen to lose his cool.

In the bathroom, after firmly locking it, she stripped of all her clothes. She yearned for this shower. Her body felt disgusting from today's working, crying and... everything really. The scenery of the bathroom didn't escape her notice. The bathroom alone was probably just as big as her own living room. Everything sparkled a beautiful white and the bath tub was calling her name. She first put on the shower and once the water was the right temperature, she stepped into the tub and let the water wash away today's worries.

She used all the items that belonged to Edward, which now made her smell like him.

The water was soothing, but also terror - once she stepped out, she would have to face her thoughts and Edward again. For that she wasn't ready; and the right time would never come. She forced herself to end the shower and put on some of the clothes he left for her - they all were baggy on her, but they warmed her instantly.

Edward would be in the living room and she didn't know what to expect. But like a band-aid, it was better to not dwell on it for too long. She pushed open the door and stepped into the living room. He sat by the window sill. She saw that there still was no pizza. She wasn't hungry though.

Instead of going to sit by the window sill across from him, she went for the couch. She kept her eyes straight for her, even when Hailey jumped on the couch to sit next to her, even when Hailey rested her body against Bella's, and even when Edward, ever so slowly, walked over to Bella and Hailey.

"Can I join you?" he asked when he stood in front of her.

Bella shrugged.

When he sat next to her, he was quiet for some time. He was probably observing her or assessing her. Neither did she like.

"I like this book you chose from the shelves," he said. "But I must say it's dark."

She realized he was talking about the novel Rebecca. She had forgotten about it - it was the book she had planned to read but instead left on the window sill.

"The second Mrs de Winter constantly worries," he said, "thinking she will never meet up to Rebecca with whom Maxim was married. Everything about the book revolves around Rebecca - even the book is called Rebecca. Until the end when Manderley is burned to the grounds, it's Rebecca, haunting them both to remind them that she is in charge."

She could get why he would call the book dark. But there was much more to it. So much more.

"You didn't catch the context in it then," she said.

He laughed, and the sound caused a raise in her head, to see him - she didn't say anything remotely funny, yet he laughed at her.

He raised an eyebrow. "When did you read it?" he asked her.

"Few years ago."

"Okay. I read it two weeks ago. My memory of it is a little fresher. Rebecca got inside Maxim's head and managed to drive him mad to the point he killed her. He covered up her death, even to the second Mrs de Winter. He was distant, and it often made the second Mrs de Winter wonder if he even loved her. And the housekeeper Mrs Danvers told the second Mrs de Winter to wear a certain dress that Rebecca used to wear, which Mrs Danvers knew would anger Maxim - from the moment the second Mrs de Winter came to Manderley, she tried to break apart their marriage. Then Mrs Danvers tried to manipulate the second Mrs de Winter into committing suicide."

She couldn't deny it - she was impressed.

"What context do you think I missed?" he asked.

"Are you going to tell me that not only were you pre-med and a graduate in economics, you also studied English literature?"

"No, I didn't."

Then how come he had so many books and knew so much about this one particular book. English teachers would be proud of him.

"It's dark," she gave him. "But he loves her so much he marries her, and she loves him so much she doesn't care that he killed Rebecca - she's glad that his strange behaviour was due to the fact he kept her murder a secret and not because he stopped loving her. Therefore, it's a love story too."

"That, though, I never denied."

She looked down again, feeling like a stranger in the home of a man she barely knew.

"After high-school, I didn't do just the pre-med courses. I tackled economy as well. Everyone said I was crazy, because those subjects are each other's opposites. But I was keeping both options open even as I was born to the father of a CEO, knowing that becoming a non-economist was in my case unacceptable."

"If you had a choice, which would you have chosen?" she asked.

"I don't know. I'm happy where I stand right now. But if I could do it over, I don't know whether I'd choose medicine or economy."

This talk was so very casual. It was nothing of the tense conversation they had right before she had stormed into the bathroom. Upon thinking of that moment, she started to be consumed with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"It's nothing. Like I said, I'm happy now with being CEO."

She scowled and shook her head as she looked up at him. "No, that's not why I apologized."

"I know."

 _Oh..._

And that reminded her of their eight-year age gap - not large, but large enough for certain differences.

"Now for sure, you must think I'm childish."

He watched her gently, without judgment in his eyes. He didn't seem angry, but neither did he carry that amused look that he so often wore.

"Nothing about you screams child," he said seriously. "Your eyes show decades of age."

They did?

"When I was twenty-one, I didn't even have a small worry. Everything was perfect. I can't imagine what you're thinking or feeling. Either way, you don't deserve this. You deserve more than a broken family, their death, debts, Aro, James-"

His words were again very unexpected - he acknowledged her misfortune and didn't think she deserved that.

His life, at the age that she was now, was perfect, he said. He had things - a reputation, money, family - things she couldn't simply have...

Except one thing.

 _Sex._

He had so much of it, for a reason, right?

"And me," he said. "You deserve someone better than me."

Surprised at his confession, she watched him well after he said that. His body, not quite touching hers, was so close to her that she could still feel his warmth. His face showed that too - a warmth, something gentle, that she hadn't known for a long time.

His summary was perfect;

Broken family - her parents divorced in a fight when she was a child.

Their death - so unexpected, when she wasn't even seventeen.

Debts - they had given Bella so much trouble.

Aro - taking her virginity without class, slapping her, firing her, spreading rumours to the media about her, gossips, failed attempts to find a job and so much uncertainty in her life.

James - being an actual threat to Bella's life.

Edward - giving her pain over and over... until now.

 _Until now._

"I feel empty," she said. "I can't remember the last time I felt good. I don't know if I ever have."

Bella couldn't tell what he was thinking. Neither could she tell how it made her feel now all this information was out in the open.

He sat a little too quiet. She took a shaky breath.

"When you were in the shower, I read a few of the online gossips. I didn't realize how painful that would be."

" _Bella..._ " he said quietly.

He brought his arm around her shoulders until their bodies touched. She sat a little too frozen at his touch.

"Have you read it?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Did you notice it's only me, not you, they speak badly about?"

"Yes."

He pushed back some of her hair behind her ear. His touch, now a constant, was like before at the restaurant; she told him about her skeletons, such as Aro, but he only seemed to be drawn closer to her. Her imperfections shouldn't be a turn on.

Any sane man would run.

"You used to be bulletproof against those rumours," he said.

"It takes effort."

He was running circles around her shoulders, and it started to become a natural thing - him touching her.

"Why do you-" She stopped abruptly.

He hummed, in a way to ask her to continue.

"Why do you have sex with so many women?"

His fingers stopped moving against her shoulder.

She looked up at him and the first thing she thought was...

 _We're very close to each other..._

Only a breath away.

He scowled a little and said, "It's easier to switch. I don't want them to get the wrong idea and think I'm interested in them."

Well, damn. That wasn't an answer to her question. She didn't mean to ask him why he chose to sleep around with many women...

"Why do you have sex so often?" she said instead - that was the question she really wanted an answer to.

Again, he scowled.

"It feels good," he said, shrugging a little.

"And for them, too?"

"Yes," he said, his eyes narrowing a little.

Did he know which way so was going?

Either way, it made her heart go wild.

"I should have sex then."

He raised an eyebrow and asked slowly, "Who would you have on your mind for this interesting act?"

 _What the hell?_

He didn't realize something she thought he would have understood instantly.

The answer to his question was so easy. She thought - or at least, she feigned to be thinking. It was time for her to tease him a little.

"Somebody tall," she said. "And funny. And handsome."

He had his lips a tad bit too hard pressed on each other.

"With dark hair. Light eyes. Maybe someone older."

"You're very specific," he said dryly.

His tone suggested he still didn't understand her hint.

She knew why. He thought she was talking about another man and again, he was consumed by jealously.

Jealously could do terrible things to a man's mind.

"A girl can dream, can't she?" she said jokingly. "It would also be amazing if he was great with sex."

"Of course," he said with a smirk. "Or else it might be repetition of your first experience."

He was, as she already knew, jealous. It was something that scared her; when he was jealous, he turned into someone horrible.

"He should also know that he has this one flaw that she doesn't find very attractive. He gets easily jealous. Even right now, without knowing, he's feeling jealous of _himself_."

His eyes stilled on her face.

"Because I was describing you..." she said quietly.

He watched her a little harder.

"The rumours are already saying it," she said quietly. "Besides, everybody has sex. Even all those people in all those books on your shelves."

 _Right?_

"So why not...us?" she continued.

She expected at least _one word_ of a response, but he sat motionless.

"I don't mean to say that I want to use you," she said awkwardly. "Though maybe, that is what I'm saying, because you know all the steps and I don't know anything about pleasing a man."

His silence was deadly.

"Do you-" she started abruptly.

He scowled. That meant he was at least listening to her.

"Do you still want to have sex with me? Or..." _not._

"Yes," he said without a blink.

She stopped breathing.

"But we can't. I don't have any condoms in here."

"Don't you-" she blurted out.

It made him scoff again, her unfinished sentence.

She felt silly asking him her the question on her mind, but he squeezed her shoulder a little.

"Don't men keep them in their wallet or pocket?" she asked.

He chuckled and said, "No, I keep them in my office."

She pressed her lips against each other and realized in that moment they were discussing not only Edward's sex life, but also where he kept his condoms, and...

 _...where he slept with all those women._

In his office.

"You only have sex in your office?" she asked, because she couldn't help herself.

"Yes."

She looked down, thinking about what this meant. She took a deep breath, because she felt nervous.

"If we have sex, we'll have to do it in your office?" she asked.

His face hardened. "How can you say such a thing?"

"You said you only have sex in your-"

He pressed his thumb against her lips as his eyes softened. "How about a bed, my dear? In a time and space for us and us alone...not in a place where women from my past can come to haunt your beautiful mind with filthy lies that you should only dare to believe."

Her heart beat louder in her chest...it was absolutely and completely not what Bella expected him to say.

Meanwhile, something within her stirred as the true meaning suddenly appeared. Her eyes snapped to Edward, as if he too knew the meaning. However, he wasn't watching her.

Her mind was fast as she thought of his confessions;

\- He didn't have any condoms on him

\- He only kept his condoms in his office, where he slept with women

\- He brought Bella to his condo

It's not necessarily that she had been doubting him before. Now, however, because he didn't have any condoms in his condo, it was clear that he truly never had women come over.

More importantly, the lack of condoms proved that he _never_ brought Bella here for sex. It hadn't been some plan.

"Maybe we don't need one."

He watched her sharply. She knew that he understood the meaning of her words.

"I'm on the pill. Clean, too. Are you...clean?"

"Yes."

She inhaled quickly. "It feels better without a condom for men, right?"

"I can't," he said.

She felt herself scowl a little and she leaned back. She thought he would have said yes immediately.

He seemed to hesitate when he noticed her silence.

"You didn't like it," he said. "Without a condom. The point of this is for it to be good for you."

She looked away, feeling awkward that suddenly they discussed her sex life. More like, once in a life time sex experience with a man they now both hated.

"It hurt, but a condom wouldn't have prevented that..." she said.

"Not the pain. You said it was a mess, afterwards. That you had to run to that bathroom to clean up the mess between your legs."

She closed her eyes, remembering those awkward words she had told him in the restaurant.

"I'm okay with that," she said.

He watched her closely and leaned a little forward. His fingers ran slowly through her hair.

"You're trembling, Bella."

"Yeah..."

"Are you afraid of me, still?"

"Not quite."

"Why are you trembling then?"

"I'm scared of everything. I'm worried that for you, it will be bad."

He looked a little amused and a little tired...it made her even more uncertain.

"You're always laughing at me, aren't you?" she dared to ask. "You don't even hide your amusement."

"Oh, is that what you think?" he said humoured - _again_.

"Then what's funny?" she muttered.

"I'm laughing at your charisma, which you don't even know you have," he said.

 _Cha...cha...charisma? What?_

"Ever since I first saw you, I had to have you. You're worry is funny, because you don't see that your worries are similar to all those rumours they spread about you; complete bullshit, Bella."

With his free hand, he intertwined their fingers.

"I know you can't laugh at those rumours your read online, but with _funny_... and being amused, I only mean that you know better. You should know better. Those people thrive on people's misery and if you allow them to hurt you like that, you're letting them win. Instead, just be amused. They're bullshit."

He stretched his fingers and she thought he was letting go of her hand, but before that happened, he bent his fingers again, only to hold her hand tighter.

"You're falling for bullshit, even when I tell you the opposite. Even when I tell you that I know sex with you will not be worthless...to me."

"How can you be sure?"

He bent a little closer to her and she froze, her heart going wild and her lungs not properly supplying her of air.

"You feel it too," he said, calculating her. "Don't you?"

"Feel what?" she whispered.

"That tension, whenever I'm near you or touch you."

All this time, his arm had lied quietly and safely around her shoulders, but now it moved as he brought his hand from her shoulder up to her neck. His fingers touched her skin and by God...

She felt it.

"Imagine this," he said. "I've been feeling this for months and I feel it much more strongly than you do."

But he could speak...move...think... Bella's couldn't, except...have one thought, which was the following.

She thought that in that moment, she believed him over her worries. And he knew it too, because he came forward slowly, his lips touching hers lightly...giving her a kiss.

Next, he pulled her with him to his bedroom.

She wasn't sure what to expect; someone horny, someone dominant, someone rough, someone fast, someone quick...

Imagine her surprise when Edward was gentle and kind. Slow and patient. He showed her a side of him she didn't know existed and perhaps this was the first time he met that side of him as well.

* * *

After, she only briefly closed her eyes. That moment with her eyes shut, she relaxed for the first time since a long time and fell asleep. Perhaps in a dream, he pressed his lips against her temple.

Another image brought her to Manderley, a dark place, a fire high above, she jerked up...and gasped as she awoke from a strange nightmare.

 _What was she doing in Manderley?_

She glanced to the side of the bed, afraid to see what she might find there.

 _He's not there._

Hailey was lying on the bed by her legs. She reached to pat her head. She watched Bella tiredly and closed her eyes again.

She saw a clock on the nightstand which read, just as she looked at this, 3;00 AM. Her eyes closed, but her sleep was gone, even if she only got so very little. Also, she felt a little humiliated for falling asleep so soon after sex.

Truth be told, it was his fault...his fault for making it the best night of her life.

She was a little more ashamed to look between her legs, to see how gory the aftermath of sex looked. She could still feel that moment he came inside her and filled her completely...

She spread her legs and found the damage to be acceptable. Where did it all go? Did her body absorb it?

A moment in her dream, perhaps not a dream after all, she had felt something touch the insides of her legs. Did her really take care of... _that?_ That even filled her with more dread and shame as she put on a white blouse she found by his bed. It wasn't the sweater she had worn before, but there was something about a girl who just had sex and afterwards, wore only a blouse that wasn't hers before she walked to the man who had given her such...great sex.

Carefully, she walked to another door and hoped it was another bathroom.

 _Yes._

She glanced at the mirror before going to the toilet and noticed her hair as a mess. She tried to smooth it down as she sat on the toilet. Once he heard the toilet flush, he'd know she was awake. Maybe for the better? She might as well get in, face him and see what had changed.

First she glanced at Hailey, hoping she would join her in the difficult walk. However, Hailey had her eyes shut and wasn't showing signs of wanting to join Bella. She would have to go alone.

When she opened the door to his living room, she saw a strange sight.

He was sitting on the window sill, his back facing her, and he was reading a book. It wasn't _Rebecca_. That one, she noticed, sat discarded on the same place where Bella had sat a few hours ago.

She walked over to him quietly, hoped she wouldn't scare him.

"At night," she said, "when you were still up and responding to my e-mails, or giving me a call... you were sitting here, reading?"

"Boring, I know."

"No. Not at all."

"I was joking."

A tension she felt released her, but she was still unsure of her feeling post-sex with Edward.

"I only read, because of you," he said.

He closed the book and looked at her.

"Interesting, isn't it, how someone can become obsessed over something that's not even their own hobby."

Her lips parted as she realized exactly what he was saying. She was a creative writer, and, in her time, she had read many books. She still did. But it couldn't be. There were too many books.

"I'm a quick reader."

He knew her thoughts; she had been gazing at all the books, thinking that there were too many.

"The ones I like I keep. Soon, I needed a bookshelf, so I got one."

 _Oh..._

She felt blown away by this.

"I never knew books can be such great teachers," he continued. "But the main reason I read them, is because I couldn't get close to you and I thought to myself that this was as close as I could get to you, by reading."

She dropped her eyes on the book that he had been reading.

"Sometimes, you really do know how to flatter a girl, Edward."

He put his hand on her shoulders, then slowly slid it down to her elbow. He pulled her closer to him.

"Are you still okay?"

She nodded. "You've been asking me that a lot."

"I know I'll never reach that perfection of your dream where we had sex, but I can try and get to it as close as I can."

That's when she remembered that dream and the considerate sex...she closed her eyes and remembered all those times he asked her, _Are you okay?_ Eventually, she had just nodded, on auto pilot. Now she knew the real reason for his concern.

"That dream was only a peak of reality," she said, even if it sounded a little cheesy. "Perfection was last night."

He got off from the window sill. He seemed both pleased and worried.

"How was it for you?" she asked.

"It was-"

"Was I disappointing?"

"Bella-"

"Because you look worried, and if it's because you have to tell me that you agree with Aro, just tell me now quickly and-"

"I'm only worried about the damn condom, Bella. I should've brought one with me. I probably look careless to you."

"No, you don't careless to me," she said. "Being unprepared was good."

"How?" he asked sceptically.

"If you were prepared, I may have thought that...maybe...that was your only goal."

His lips parted, but he seemed to understand what she was saying.

But he looked a little bitter.

"Were you still doubting me, then?" he asked, steering his head to the side.

"No..."

"You were."

 _Shit._

"Mind telling me what you texted Emmett?"

She sighed.

"I told him you're taking me to your place and whether I should change my mind."

"So, you were still unsure back in the car."

 _Double shit..._

"Bella," he said.

"A little," she said in frustration.

"Still you agreed to come here."

"I'm sorry."

He watched her sharply.

"I'm really sorry," she said.

"Don't say sorry," he said with a scoff.

She grew more frustrated. "Then what do you want to hear?"

"Nothing."

"You're angry."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you're being passive aggressive."

He chuckled and this time she said exactly what was on her mind.

"You're being terribly rude," she snapped. "You shouldn't laugh at someone when she thinks you're angry with her and when she thinks she gave you worthless sex."

He took her hands and held them tightly.

"I'm amused, because you got it all wrong. You asked me what I want to hear, and the truth really is nothing. It's me who needs to tell you something."

She held her breath.

This would be it.

Over and out, or...

"You came here, despite your better judgement, because you had no other place to go. You're in danger, because of me. And ever since, you were forced to be around me while still doubting my motives. That's why you shouldn't apologize for still doubting me then. It was never your fault."

It would seem that sometimes, not only could Edward flatter a girl, he could also be a gentleman.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. You're not alone anymore."

She looked down.

"If there's any part in you that doubts my motives, still, let me assure you by saying that feeling your body tonight was only reason to want more."

He pushed her chin up.

"If you want more too, I'll only need a sign from you."

She let go of the breath she'd been holding.

She wanted to end the conversation right now, so she thought of the book he had been reading a moment ago. She never caught the title of the book he was reading, but it was a hefty volume.

"What are you reading?"

Fortunately, he didn't seem to mind her unresponsiveness to his entire speech.

He showed her the title.

"Le Comte de Monte Cristo," she said in broken French.

 _Surely, not?_

She took the book and looked through the pages, only to see that it was indeed written in its original language, French.

"You know French," she said.

"Some," he said with a shrug.

"You know it well enough to read Dumas in French..."

He shrugged again. "Occasionally, the CC does business with France."

 _Of course._

"I love this one," she said, handing it back to him.

"I have yet to come across the part that's lovable," he said, unimpressed.

"Not everyone is a fan of his style..." she agreed. "Bear with Dumas."

"I was intent on finishing it."

She looked behind and felt overwhelmed again. _All those books_.

There must've been hundreds.

"What did you used to do? Before you started reading..."

She quickly calculated and could only come up with;

"A book a day," she finished.

"Not much," he said casually. "I used to play some music, but that was long ago."

She loved music, too, especially when someone could play an instrument or even make their own music.

"That's quite sad," she said.

He scowled. She didn't give his reaction much notion, but instead glanced around the room, looking for the pizza.

"I put it in the fridge," he said as a way of reading her mind. "Let me get it for you. Do you want me to warm them up?"

"No, I actually like cold pizza."

She waited for him to return as she glanced at which page he was. _Nearly_ the end, though. And he hadn't found it lovable yet

He placed the boxes on the window sill, her pizza and his as well.

"Have some of mine too, if you want," he said.

"Thanks," she said, opening the box on top - uncaring which of the two it was because she was starving.

"Piano," he said. "And guitar."

"What?" she asked, her mouth already half-full.

"I used to play them."

She hummed, unable to speak now as her mouth was too full to speak.

"I don't see a piano or a guitar," she said once she swallowed.

"No, I stopped playing a long time ago. Though my guitar is somewhere in the storage room."

She thought of doing what Edward so very often did.

 _Give an order._

"Play me a song," she said.

"The guitar is probably not in tune anymore," he said with a scowl. "I may also be a little rusty."

Hmm, it didn't seem to work. She took another bite of the pizza and he said, "I'll be right back."

She nodded, her hunger taking over as she finished her first slice and went for a second. He came back quick with a guitar and sat opposite of her.

For a moment, she stopped chewing and moving - surprise took her over to see him with a guitar, even when he explicitly called the guitar out of tune and himself rusty. Even more, the commanding thing worked. She could command him as well!

He hit a few cords, made some adjustments on his guitar - all of which was unfamiliar to Bella because she knew nothing of instruments and music. After a while though, she heard gentle tones coming from the guitar and it seemed that he had put the guitar _in tune_ if that's how she was supposed to call it.

"Any requests?" he asked at last.

She shook her head.

When he played, a melody came which sounded very familiar.

"This song has been on my mind for some time now," he said. "Do you know it?"

Apparently speaking and playing didn't bother him.

Rusty, he called himself. He was anything but rusty. He played beautifully. It was a waste of his talent to not play.

The words of the song were missing, but the melody was still so familiar. Where did she know this song from?

"I know I do, but I can't come up with the name..." she said softly, not wanting to miss the sound.

"Wicked game," he said.

It didn't ring any bells and she shook her head a little. He stopped playing and took out his phone.

"I'll show you," he said.

His phone was connected to the speakers in his condo, because when he pressed something, the soft melody began again.

 _Fancy._

And when the singer started to sing, she both recognized the words, as felt another gulf of overwhelm. Yes, she knew this song. First time she heard it was a long time ago...it was in the series Friends, when Ross and Rachel kiss...

"You play very good," she said, clearing her throat.

"Do you?" he asked, handing her the guitar.

"None," she said, shaking her head.

"Try," he said.

 _Oh, no._

There was that commanding again. She took the guitar and took a deep breath. She ran her fingers slowly across the strings, each producing a different sound.

This was, truth be told, the first time she had a guitar in her hands.

"Can I take your picture?"

She looked up.

"No, look down, at the guitar," he said.

She felt weird, and flattered, so she did, until he told her to look up again. He was showing her his phone and she saw herself, hair in front of her face, hidden, playing the guitar. She could have fooled herself, that she was a great player.

"I can delete it if you hate it," he said with a chuckle.

"No, it's-" she muttered. She kind of liked the picture. "Keep it."

The words of the song haunted her...

"A few more hours," she said, feeling sad.

"A few more hours for dawn?" he guessed.

"Until I have to go home."

"You don't have to do anything."

"I can't stay here..."

"Is it because I'm the idiot who forgot to offer you a drink?"

He got up and walked off to his kitchen as he asked her what she wanted.

"Water is fine," she muttered.

When he returned with a bottle, she held the cool flash in her hands.

"This is too much," she said, pointing around. "I need some time. Just me. Or...do you think it's safer to be here?"

"No. Your safety is guaranteed, regardless of your location."

They'd gone to a topic she wasn't fond of talking about or even thinking about.

"But here, you'll have me to keep you company. So, whenever you feel ready, come here. Stay here. I can be your companion."

She looked down.

"I'll... I'll think about it," she said.

He smiled, his eyes sad.

"I'll miss this," he said. "I'll miss you."

Why did he have to tell her that? It made things so much harder.

"What if I never get there too?" she asked quietly.

"Get where?"

She couldn't take it anymore and her feelings brought her to a place of desperation.

"You-you...have all those feelings for me...but I don't. I don't even know how I feel about you. My staying here will be a joke, because I'm the one who'll be stringing you along until I've finally figured it out and what if?"

"Bella," he said quietly. "Don't think about that."

"What if I don't love you back? What if I never get there? What then? Will that make me terrible for sleeping with you?"

"Don't think like that," he said.

He leaned a little forward and placed a hand on her knee.

"I have to," she said, "I can't ignore it. Neither should you."

"Answer me this one. You already answered it in the restaurant but humour me. Do you hate me?"

She shook a little from all the panic, and his soothing voice for a moment had her calm down just for a fraction.

"No," she answered.

"That's all I need from you, Bella," he said. "The rest is a bonus."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be that bitch that gave you false hope."

"Yes, I'm sure," he said with a smile. "You're not giving me any false hope. I know you might never get there, and I'm fine by it. We can still be friends."

She took a few shaky breaths and he squeezed her knee. They locked eyes until he pointed to the window.

"Look," he said. "Washington at night."

She hadn't even looked and only now did she see all the lit buildings, yet the deep dark sky surrounding them.

"This is the best," she said. "I can't imagine what it would be like to even live in a place like this."

"The floor below me is empty," he said. "It's yours if you want."

Her eyes felt as if they may fall out of their sockets as she brought them to Edward.

Panic filled her, again.

He looked a little guilty as he said, "I've been waiting for you to make such a comment, so I can tell you that... Your neighbourhood isn't bad, but great neither. Here you'll live a bit better, a bit more comfortable, and you can have this view too. Every night."

 _And_ she would be living only _one_ elevator ride away from Edward. She leaned her head against the wall behind her.

She didn't move, didn't respond.

"But if this is overwhelming you, or even suffocating you, we can look for a different place."

"This place is perfect," she said.

"Take it then."

"You can't just offer me a house."

"It's not a house, it's a condo."

"Your bathroom is the size of my current living room."

"Still this is a condo."

This building had thirty floors, of which Edward lived on the top and Bella was offered to live on the twenty-ninth.

Only then did she realize...

"Each floor is a condo," she said slowly. "Each floor is just for one person. This building is for thirty people only."

That explained the beautiful elevator. That explained the guards by the entrance of the building. That explained everything.

"By now, money shouldn't be something to freak out about," he said.

"That's easy for you to say."

"Bella. It's an easy yes or no question. Do you want to live on the floor below?"

She thought the answer was obvious.

"Yes," she said.

"Consider it a done deal."

 _Too soon._

She was apparently moving, and it was all too soon.

"No... no, I can't take this. I can't."

"You just said yes."

"Now I'm saying no."

She got off the window sill - leaving the guitar on the floor - and was about to walk into the bedroom, but that room was filled with previous sex images.

The kitchen then, a place of the _condo_ she hadn't seen yet. She noticed how beautiful it was, how perfect and charming. He had to have someone clean his place for him, right?

She sat on the chair by the kitchen table and rested her head in her hands.

 _Why?_

She wanted to fall apart.

 _Her reputation was ruined by Aro._

 _Her life is in danger because of James._

What would become of her? What did the future look like? Could she take a peek into her future, just to see if it was one worthy of living?

 _Oh, my God._

She thought, _I had sex with Edward Cullen and am now hanging out with him in his apartment._

She had to get out of there right now.

But when she stood to leave, he appeared by the door and she felt trapped.

"I have to leave," she said in her calmest voice.

"Why?"

"I just do."

She wanted to walk past him, but he put his arm on the door frame and she was staring at his lower arm that was blocking her pathway.

"You can't keep me like some prisoner," she said impatiently.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I should've never treated you as if you're trivial."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Obviously, that's what going on."

"A lot is going on."

"I know, Bella. But the major one right now is how I treated you and how you will never forgive me for that."

She feared so much.

"Do you want honesty?" she said.

"Is that rhetorical?"

She really grew frustrated with him.

"Something will happen."

He raised an eyebrow.

She slapped his chest, even if it most likely wasn't painful to him.

"I can't do this when you're giving sarcastic comments and looks!" she snapped.

She turned her back to him and walked deeper into the kitchen, where she found another window. This one was smaller, but still gave her a magnificent view.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Please, just tell me what's on your mind."

It was hard, and she carefully glanced back to see if he meant that. He seemed truthful.

"Your gestures are grand."

She raised her shoulder, but only because she found it so hard to speak.

"Living here costs a fortune. I can't give you anything in return."

"Your happiness is nothing?"

She couldn't even respond to that.

"That's not really the point though," she said. "Someday, something will happen. We'll fight, again. You'll hurt me, again. I'll be left with nothing, again. I don't know if I can handle that, _again_. My parent's death nearly destroyed me."

That was it. That was what was on her mind.

"You'll hate me," she said. "That will destroy me. You almost destroyed me last evening, when you told me all those things in your office."

He took a step closer to her. She took one back.

"I won't hate you," he said.

"You might."

"I just want to see you happy. You looked happy with the view. So, I thought, I'll give her the view."

He stepped forward and stood very close to her.

"You shouldn't feel like you don't deserve grand things," he said. "And if it's really that hard for you to accept, just think of how I put you in danger and how I've treated you since the moment we met. Consider this just a way of me trying to feel less guilty."

"How is that working for you?" she asked.

"Not, since you threw my offer right back in my face."

How could she accept something like this?

"It's a gift. The place will be on your name and I will cover the costs. Even if we someday find ourselves in the ugliest fight, it will still be your condo. Nobody can take it away from you, not even me."

"It's too much," she mumbled.

"A compromise, then? Keep your own place but move out temporarily. See what it's like to live in this flat. You can always go back."

"I'll think about it."

"Good."

He leaned against his kitchen counter while she tried to stay calm again.

"Will it end?" she asked quietly. "With James..."

"Yes."

"How long will that take?"

"No more than a few months."

"You can't know for sure."

"Actually, I can. He is going bankrupt in less than two months, maybe sooner. Once he is finished, me and my brothers are going to have a little chat with him."

She knew a little chat meant something different. "You mean threaten him?" she asked.

"Yes."

"How?"

"There are ways to persuade someone."

She waited expectantly and what he said next, had her take a step back from him.

"Torture."

 _Oh, no._

This could not be.

"Bella."

"Stay away from me..." she said, walking out of the kitchen back into the living room.

Oh, she might be getting sick.


	10. Chapter 9 - Prison

A/N; thank you for the reviews. And many apologies for the late update and errors.

Clarification:

 ** _Time passed since Bella started working for the CC -_** _4 weeks._

* * *

 **Chapter 9 - Prison**

"You're being irrational," he said to her back.

It was as if he was trying to justify something as horrible as...

 _Torture._

How could he do it? How the hell was he capable of torture? The images of Edward...torturing someone...even if it was James...

How could he?

 _She might vomit._

"You do this, when you panic. You bolt."

Oh...

Oh, the rage inside her.

How dare he tell her she bolted due to panic, when he was the one who put panic inside her? He told her something so terrific, so horrendous. Torture was barbaric and inhumane. It was banned from so many countries for a reason. She knew for a fact that some people went mad from torture that they would falsely admit to have done a crime, only to make the pain of torture stop...

It might not even work with James, now that she thought about it. They could torture him, and then it would only anger him more... It could backfire on everyone.

"What kind of torture are you talking about?" she asked stiffly.

"I have obviously already said too much."

She was breathing faster and the thing was that her imagination was not that wide to take her to the places of torture. Maybe that was for the best.

Still, she was curious.

"I'll ask Emmett then," she said.

She knew that was fruitless; Emmett probably too wouldn't tell. He would side with his brother. Why would he side with Bella?

Edward started stepping forward again, and she was sure he was going for the physical contact.

A flash of something gruesome blinded her and she was angered once more.

"Don't come near me," she said, disgusted. "I can't believe I let you touch me."

And so she had.

For hours, in his bedroom.

He stopped walking and seemed suddenly determined.

"Do you think he was sweet on Tanya?" he asked.

"Tanya?" she asked.

"Tanya, yes. The girl that vanished and not even the police could find her. Don't you think he tortured her, raped her, ruined her, before he killed her and respectlessly discarded her body somewhere to this day unknown?"

Now the missing person had a name and that made it personal.

 _Tanya._

In the mist of her thoughts, she had to say it was a beautiful name. It made her wonder what Tanya had looked like in her living days. It made her wonder if her last day had really been her worst.

"I won't stay here, unless you tell me," she said.

"Is that so?" he asked in challenge.

She hated it when he was like this.

"Should I walk out then, for you to believe me?" she shot back.

"As silly as you are right now, I'd like to see you try."

 _Silly._

He called her silly.

She had heard many things before and the rumors online were terrible, but Edward calling her silly was many the worst of it all.

"And you're disgusting," she said.

She knew that by saying that, she had taken it too far. It would anger him and for sure - and it did. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes briefly.

"Bella, you..." he didn't end his sentence.

He probably wanted to call her many names, or call her for her behaviour. He was sick of her.

"Oh," she said. "I see."

He looked at her, first annoyed, then curious.

"You see what?" he asked, a little sarcasm in his voice.

 _There they were again._

Bella was getting on his nerves, she knew that for sure. Perhaps because she was doing that on purpose. What else could she do?

Like before, it wasn't the anger or horror that consumed her.

It was fear. Because she knew that now, it was over for good. And she was scared of that, scared of being left alone.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Okay," he said.

He walked to a drawer in the kitchen and came back with something that was indeed small and surely didn't look nothing like a torture device. He handed it to her and she saw it was like a ring, which had a small whole in it, probably not much bigger than an inch. Also there was a screw and if she turned it the whole got bigger.

The idea that she was holding something in her hand that could hurt someone seemed absurd as it didn't look like any torture device.

It was almost like a ring...able to fit around someone's finger...

"What, you can break fingers with it or something?" she randomly guessed.

Judging by the look in his eyes, it wasn't such a random guess at all.

She felt sick.

The thing fell out of her fingers and dropped loudly on the floor.

"Is it?" she asked.

"Yes. It's a thumbscrew. You can break any finger with it, though."

She felt panic, fear, disgust, anger...and terror. It was all there, consuming her, making her go wild with frenzy.

 _Oh, God, free me._

She went to the elevator doors, desperately hitting the button for the elevator to come and the doors to open.

"Do you want James off your back, or not?" he asked.

"This is a deal breaker!" she cried.

"Is it?"

There had been a time, not that long ago, when she and Edward slept together. It was more then sex though. It was so much more.

"I can't believe I let you touch me..." she said disgustingly. "Where is that damn elevator?! Are there stairs? Where can I take them? The should be stairs."

 _The idea..._

 _The madness..._

How did this happen to her?

The one and only thing she really wanted was the one and only thing she would never have.

"A deal breaker?" Edward said, appearing before her. "You mean us?"

She instantly took a few steps away from him and suppressed a shudder.

"Stay away from me! There is no _us_."

He looked into her eyes, his face somewhat registering something, but she was too occupied to give him any thoughts.

"You can't leave," he said. "With only my blouse on to cover too little of your skin."

"I don't care!"

"You're not even wearing any panties."

 _What? Shit?_

How did he know she wasn't wearing anything underneath the blouse?

His eyes assessed her carefully and she crossed her arms.

"Why not?" she said. "Let them take my picture, and spread the gossip that Izzy had sex with her boss and now she's gone mad. Let them. I don't care."

"You'd rather do that, huh? Only because I told you about torturing James?"

"No!"

He scowled, and said, "Then why?"

She pressed the button feverously and realized why the elevator doors wouldn't slide open.

And that bastard had known all along.

"Open them," she demanded him. With his key card or whatever.

He raised an eyebrow, and she hoped that her voice suggested that he would have to do as she told if...if what? God, she didn't know. She couldn't fight him.

But he did open them, unexpectedly...finally the doors went open.

She stepped inside fast.

"This is it then?" he said, standing between the elevator doors.

 _Damn him! Why didn't he let her go?!_

"Get away from the doors!" she snapped.

"This is where it ends?" he continued, scoffing.

She thought of how she used to think of Edward, and how she thought of him now, knowing he had that torture _thing_ in his kitchen. She thought she was going to vomit and placed her hand on her mouth. She bent through her knees and put her other hand on her stomach.

 _Please don't vomit..._

 _Please don't..._

"Let me go," she pleaded. "Please..."

She expected his sarcasm and anger again, only it didn't come.

"I'll search for a different way to get James of your back."

The words didn't register.

"No torture," he said. "I'll ask my men for plan B."

His men...meaning a team was working together with Edward - of course they did. He couldn't be doing this all on his own.

But it wasn't logical...not logical that he would change his mind about the torture.

She was weak, weaker than she ever thought. This time, when she bent, she really did fall on her knees and then with her back on the elevator wall. She leaned against it and breathed fast.

What was to become of her?

Strangely, he let himself sit too, against the entrance sliding doors to prevent them from closing, even if that's what she wanted, for those doors to close and bring her back downstairs.

"Will this make you stay?" he asked.

"No."

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked tiredly.

"Yeah," she muttered. "Blame it on me."

"You said that torture is a deal-breaker. Even if I don't know what the hell is going on in your head, I'm saying no to torture, so that there is no longer a deal breaker. Still you want to leave?"

"You don't have to stop the torture just on my behalf. It won't matter."

"Excuse me?"

She looked away and said, "So this is what it feels like to be a prisoner."

"Maybe I'm saving you from doing to dumbest thing in your life, because trust me, if you went out on the streets now, looking like _this_ , it would-"

"Who cares?" she said, interrupting him. "The internet says I'm scum. The rumors are already saying that I'm throwing myself at you and-"

"You may have gone through shit, Bella," he said, interrupting her as she had interrupted him before that. "But right now, you're being unfair to me."

Of course, he would put the blame on her once more.

Desperation hit her and all she wanted was to go home.

"So now you're punishing me by forcing me to stay here in this hell."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" she snapped, her anger rising at his mock.

"I mentioned torture, and you run. Now I take back my words, and you still run? I don't understand and you refuse to tell me."

"I can't believe you! You're just... so disgusting."

"Fine, then," he said curtly.

He got up on his feet.

Then, he reached her and she felt her heartbeat go a little faster. What was he doing?

Before she knew it, he took hold of her upper arms and pulled her up. She thought of torture and she thought of him touching her, as he dragged her out of the elevator.

 _No!_

It was the first thing she thought to do - try to push his hands away from her arms, but damn him for being so strong. Next, she raised her foot and aimed for his kneecap...

But he twisted her, so her back was facing his front and she wasn't able to proceed her original plan.

By now, they were out of the elevator and soon, the doors would close.

"You can't keep me here!" she snapped.

"Let's bet on it, sweetheart," he said with a smile in his voice. "Guess who'll win?"

 _Oh, my God._

Her anger was fueled by his cruel words, joking in a time like this.

She gathered her force and elbowed him in the stomach. He grunted a little, losing his grip on her, but before she had a chance to run through those sliding doors, he grabbed her wrist, twisted her arm and pushed her against the wall next to the elevator.

She was fixated, unable to move away from his strength.

 _No, no, no..._

The elevator doors slid shut.

She lost. She lost the fight against Edward.

She thought about giving up. Her father wouldn't have been proud of her. She thought she was strong, but he was stronger.

The grip he had on her loosened and Bella didn't bother to fight him again. What was the point?

When he released her, she didn't turn around. She was giving up.

His fingers, very lightly, touched her waist and pushed down the blouse, back to her upper thighs where the hems of the blouse had touched it before, right before the fighting.

He then turned her around slowly, by her shoulders.

"How come we're always fighting?" he said quietly.

She couldn't do this, not with him and his voice, being gentle and kind.

"You're not going anywhere, until I know why you're running away from me."

"As if you would let me go once I tell you the obvious."

He assessed her briefly.

"I would," he said. "You're free to leave once I know what it is that I've done that you find so disgusting."

"There's a catch."

"There was never a catch."

"Always."

He rolled his eyes.

"I always am just a joke to you. Even now."

"You are so intent on believing I did things selfishly. Try me. When did I ever say or do something that came with a catch?"

"How the hell did the conversation switch to this?"

"The moment you said that there's a catch. Now you tell me what the hell is so wrong with getting over this already?"

"There's no point. It's no use. I just want to go."

"You know the conditions."

She looked away as he sounded so casual. He _was_ not letting her go until she told him, in so many words...

But saying the words out loud; it was too disgusting.

"What's it going to be?"

She turned her eyes back to his, her body exhausted from everything.

"My first workday," she said. "I was supposed to work ten hours, remember?"

She could see he was going to object.

"It's what you put in the e-mail!" she snapped before he could intervene. "Later that day when I asked you, you said you _mistyped_. That was messed up."

"I had to test your liability. Emmett too-"

But then he stopped abruptly.

She thought her heart broke and that he heard.

"Emmett was there, just to test my liability too?" she said, her voice cool but her feelings hurt.

"I asked him for help and he agreed."

"So I was just a project to Emmett."

"Only for a few minutes, give or take. Then he decided, much sooner then I did, that you are trustworthy."

Everything had been a test. How could she know what was real and was was not?

"Why is he still...talking to me? Having contact with me?"

"That thing going on between you and Emmett is real."

"It didn't start real. It started as a test. Who's to say this is all not still a test to you and him?"

"You're his friend. Surely, you don't doubt that."

"Maybe I do."

"Because of me, right? Because you are running for some unknown reason. Because you won't talk to me."

She looked away again, angry that they were even having this conversation.

"You tricked me that day," she said. "You lured me in your car with better working conditions. Then you revealed the truth - that you only brought me home just to keep up your reputation."

"Was I really doing that? Saving my reputation?"

"It's what you said-"

"Well, use your big brain, Bella. It was so much more beneficial for you to get into my car and let the world think I fucked you, then it was for me. You were the scandal of Playboy magazine, and I, the CEO of the CC, let you get inside my car..."

Everything would come back to that.

Bella was just the scandal.

Edward, however, he was someone the world saw as precious.

How was that fair?

" _Nothing_ about that was beneficial," she said angrily. "All the rumors talk lovely about you. I'm the one they're after."

"I can't control the content of the rumors."

"Yes! You could've! You induced it. You said, let's give them something juicier to talk about. You could've just leave me be, as I asked you so many times!"

"I _never_ thought it would be harmful to-"

"Any idiot could've seen it coming! All you did was fuel the gossip. Now it only makes me wonder if that was your goal all along-"

His eyes narrowed. "I wanted the fucking gossip to end, Bella. I didn't want them to talk shit about you."

She let out a hard breath.

"There never was a catch," he said once more. "I didn't trick you. I wanted to have the upper hand though. I didn't want you to think good of me."

"And you know what?" she snapped. "I never did think a good thing of you. Job well done, Edward."

She glanced away, and thought of what it would be like to just disappear.

"After your shift ended on your first workday," he said, "when you cancelled the pub, I waited in my office until you had gathered your own things and went for the elevator. I was waiting for you, to offer you a ride home. I wanted to help you. Regardless the consequences of what other people might think of you or me. If I had known then that the rumors would get worse-"

"Stop it, just stop it! You made it clear that's not what you were doing, that you weren't helping me."

"I needed to keep up that illusion, because... I didn't know you well. I wanted to see how you would react if I would offer you help."

"You're driving me crazy with all the tests!"

"Likewise."

"I've done nothing that would drive you crazy!"

"Right now, you are. You want to leave and I don't know why."

"That's your own fault, not mine! You're the disgusting jerk who's forcing me to stay here. I don't want to stay."

He raised an eyebrow and a look of resignation crossed his face.

"You're so fucking unreasonable. Fuck you, Bella. I'm done."

He walked away from her. The sight of it was devastating.

 _He's done with her._

She needed time, space, her own place. She needed things she couldn't get.

Then, Edward turned. He threw the keycard, the one he used to open the elevator doors in her direction and it landed next to her.

"Salvation at last," he mocked. "If you want to walk out into the cold, dressed like you just had sex, then fine. Go. But please humor me and stop calling me disgusting, without even as much as an explanation. And stop saying that this is a prison. You're free to leave."

She looked down, at the key card. Her heart ached.

"Put some clothes on, and by the time you're finished, I'll have arranged a safe travel for you," he said before stepping into the kitchen and going out of sight.

She couldn't move. Instead, she slid down the wall until she sat and stared straight ahead of her.

What would become of her?

Bella hated fighting. It's all she had known and she hated it. To her best ability, she avoided fights. Her mom and dad fought so often. It was worse before the divorce, but even after the divorce, they would still fight. And then came her fight with Aro.

Now, Edward.

She picked up the key card. He said he's done. He called her silly. He repeatedly tried to force her to believe that he never tricked her.

But he also repeatedly tried to tell her that she couldn't leave, dressed like this. Even his parting words mentioned putting clothes on. And a safe travel.

Angry or not, she knew that he still cared.

She gently lifted herself up and walked to the kitchen as well. As she walked in, she saw that he was pouring some whiskey in a glass.

"I was-"

"Coming to accuse me of reverse psychology of trying to keep you in my prison?" he said sarcastically.

"No-"

"I thought you want to leave. I gave you the damn card, didn't I?"

 _You threw it at me,_ she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

He walked closer to her and she forced herself not to flinch.

"What for?" he asked.

"I don't understand!" she exclaimed desperately.

He watched her briefly, drained his glass and said, "Understand what?"

"You."

"I'm no rocket science, Bella. Ask me what you need to know, and I'll tell you, in contrary to others. I'm not the unreasonable one here."

This time, she did flinch. He was angry with her.

"Why did you transfer fifty grand to my bank account, instead of my earned salary...?"

"You needed a salary. I gave you a salary."

"What about the contract? The law? Rules? 10% above minimum?"

"Fuck that."

She stared at him in shock.

"Was it such a terrible thing that I gave you a higher pay?"

Her feelings were going all over the place.

"What about the second time? You gave me fifty grand _again_ just because I told you about that dream."

"I was intrigued by you. You deserved to have a fucking break. Also..."

He chuckled a little darkly.

"You wouldn't have told me about your sex dream had I not offered you the money. I know. That was a little unfair play of me."

"I would have. Told you, I mean. With or without the money."

The look in his eyes changed; he was surprised.

"I was intrigued by you as well," she said, looking away from his piercing eyes.

It was very quiet now.

Yes, Bella knew this was new information to Edward.

"I have just one more question," she said. "Something I don't understand about you. Maybe I never will..."

She forced herself to look at him and noticed his eyes were much softer then they were before, when they were fighting.

"How is it that you are incredibly...sweet...during sex, but..."

Oh, God, she couldn't say it.

She shook her head, breaking their eye contact.

"Tell me and," he said, "you're out of debt. I'll pay everything."

Her heartbeat went a little faster. _All_ of that money that she owed...finally resolved. If only she would utter out a few terrible words.

"How can you?" she said, her voice breaking. "I can't get that picture out of my head!"

"What picture?"

But her voice was lost in an ocean of emotion.

"Talk to me, Bella."

It was so hard, but she tried. "Ever since you told me about the torture, I just see you in my head, torturing other people..."

He scowled a little.

"I don't know who you've tortured, or how, or how many times, but how can you? It's like I don't even know you at all. It's like you're not the same person I allowed to touch me..."

Her breaths were shaky. She needed more air.

"You think I've done it before?" he said slowly.

 _Haven't you?_ was her first, logical thought.

But she didn't say it. Because now she thought that maybe...maybe...

"I have never tortured someone."

...maybe she'd been wrong all along.

Oh, the mistake...she made a mistake...

 _Good God, what had she done?_

The only good thing that came from his revelation was that now, she could finally breathe again. Because the picture in her mind slowly dissolved.

"You run, because you think I torture people?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and was too ashamed to utter out a word, or even nod.

She didn't need to, because he knew that was indeed the reason.

"Are you running, still?" he asked.

She watched him with uncertain feelings in her chest. Her body was drained from the previous revelation.

"I don't know," she said quietly. "You're capable of a lot more than I thought. Even if you haven't, you would have...with James."

How much could a girl take in, in just a single night?

He seemed to be analyzing her.

It wasn't long before he said, "You should go. I'll arrange a safe travel from here to your home. A deal is a deal, after all."

He stepped a little back.

"Take whatever clothes you need from my closet."

He went to sit on the window sill and kept his eyes on the window or the view - she couldn't tell which.

She couldn't move her legs to his bedroom.

Instead she went to sit at the window sill as well.

Her panic had completely taken her over; now that she was calm, she realized the terrible things she had said to him.

She needed to repair that.

He turned his head, his eyes tired.

The tension she felt was piercing and she felt like the one step progress they had made was now brought backwards by at least ten steps. She looked down at her feet.

Before, there had been so much tension, and emotion and uncertainty.

Now, Bella knew that it was her fault.

"I just want you to know I'm not disgusted by your touch," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I said that."

"Yes."

 _What's yes?_

Did he agree, did he comment on hearing her, or what?

Yes to what?

Or maybe he wasn't in the chatty mood and she should have dismissed herself from his presence, as he had told her, to get dressed and leave.

"I'm sorry to have offended you," she said, getting of the window sill to do what she should have done before...

 _Get dressed and go home._

However, she felt his hand come around her wrist and he turned her so they were facing each other. The look he had on her eyes was intense and Bella felt nervous just by the way he looked at her. She was frozen in her spot.

"No, I don't believe you," he said.

He released her wrist.

"There's still terror in your eyes."

Was there? She felt shaky but her legs didn't take her away from him. She stayed rooted on the floor before him, with his dark eyes on hers.

Why did she stay? Because he said he didn't believe her, but about what? She never lied to him, so what was there suddenly he thought she was lying about?

 _Never lied to him..._

Well, she did lie to him about fainting all the time, because that wasn't true. She might need to repair that too, at some moment.

"What terror?" she said.

"The fear you felt the first time I mentioned torture. I can't blame you. But don't lie to me. You're disgusted by me. And maybe it's for the best."

 _Maybe it's for the best...?_

What was that supposed to mean?

"You think I'm lying to you?" she said with tears in her eyes again.

"Come on, Bella. It's all over your face."

"You probably mean... Things like... Fear that you think that torture might be the only way to ensure my safety? Worries about _everything_ because my life will never be the one where I don't have to hear cruel gossips, face the paparazzi, drown in debts, get weird love confessions, fear for my life or think about torture as a defense mechanism?"

She crossed her arms and shook her head, her eyes on the window.

"That's what's probably all over my face."

She felt tears fall down and it was a great wonder she hadn't dried out yet.

"The picture of you torturing someone just really makes me sick," she said. "I thought that's what you do. I didn't know how someone can be so destructive, while at the same time so gentle with sex. I was confused. I reached my breaking point, because torture is a deal breaker. But then I realized that this was be the end. Especially because we were fighting and you were sick of me."

Her words awakened his body as he sat a little straighter and watched her in surprise.

"No," he said.

"It was bad," she said. "I was mean. You told me to leave. I thought-"

He reached forward and pulled her closer by her hand, and stroked her cheeks while wiping away the tears.

"You thought wrong," he said. "You said deal breaker and I thought you were walking away for good. Even if I didn't know why you were so upset, did you honestly think I would let you go?"

She nodded.

"That easily?" he asked in surprise.

"You were sick of me-" she repeated.

"If that's true, then why did I try so hard to keep you here?"

His voice with that confronting question nearly crushed her chest.

"You're not?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not sick of you, Bella...even if you run. Even if you call me disgusting."

"But you told me to leave."

"I didn't want to. I wanted to get the chains out and put it around your waist like in _Black Snake Moan_ and keep you here. But you were scared, and repulsed."

Her first thought was, _what is Black Snake Moan_?

Second, she noticed a feeling in her chest, and it was suffocating her.

"You said that you're done," she said.

He didn't respond and she smiled bitterly.

"You really were done with me."

"Done," he said. "Not with you. I was tired. You were..."

She closed her eyes. "Unreasonable, and silly," she finished for him.

Why did it hurt so much?

It all began when she thought that it was over...this thing between her and Edward. His presence, out of her life...that was a painful, lonesome idea.

"I didn't want to offend you."

Truth be told, she didn't care about being offended anymore. She yearned contact.

"I don't want to be alone..."

She sounded a little pathetic saying it.

"Then stop running away from me," he said.

How could he say that?

"You're not tired of me yet?" she said uncertainly.

He smiled a little and held her waist a little tighter.

"I won't let you run anymore," he said. "I'll keep you my prisoner. How does that sound? Hmm?"

"Awful..." she said, not in time to catch her smile...

Because by saying so, he told her in a much better way that they were good.

"Careful or I'll take you up on your invitation."

"My...? What invitation?"

He lifted up the blouse she was wearing, reminding her of her nudity down there...she felt her eyes widen.

"It wasn't an-"

She hadn't even finished her sentence and he had stood up, while lifting her on the window sill. He stepped forward and stood beween her legs like it was the most natural place to be.

"Perhaps it's me inviting myself in," he said with a chuckle, his lips pressing against hers. "Whatever."

Her breath caught in her throat as she thought of their position, and more importantly, _her position_.

The window was right behind them.

"Is this a fantasy of yours?" she asked.

He gave her a look.

"Having sex, in front of a window...where everyone can see us..."

He glanced outside briefly, than back at her.

"It's not a fantasy of mine," he said. "Taking you right here, in this position, is though..."

She stopped breathing and thought fast.

Did she want this? Sex, _again?_ On a window sill?

Not very long ago, they were fighting...

"Unless you object," he said.

She was thinking about it, thinking rationally...

He then took her hands and placed them around his neck. His own hands ran down her arms, to her shoulders, down to her back.

"There's a question in your eyes," he said casually.

She shook her head, and said, "Some things are better left unsaid."

"Tell me anyhow."

She bit her lips. She couldn't ask him the question in her mind.

"Please?"

 _Okay..._

"How many?" she asked.

His lips parted and for sure, he did tense.

 _How many women..._

She knew that he understood her and that she was really asking that question.

And he said, "I don't know."

She looked down and said, "That's a lot."

He stopped moving and she forced herself to look up at him again.

"Why haven't you ever brought any woman to your place?" she asked.

"I brought you here."

It was a reminder, of course, that he did make an exception, but that wasn't what she meant.

"Why not any of those others?" she asked.

This time, it was him who looked away.

"It didn't feel right. It would...leave marks. Marks I didn't want to make."

Marks?

"What marks?" she asked.

"Memories," he said. "I would see them, all the time, around me. I don't want that."

"But your office..."

"It's different. Imagine you had brought Aro into your home..."

Oh, man. She would have wanted to burn her place down if that had happened.

"Still," she said, "you never hated them or anything. It wasn't...a bad experience?" _If that's the right way of saying it?_

"No, but I'd rather not bring someone meaningless with me to my place."

Deduction told her that he brought Bella to his place, and that therefor, she wasn't meaningless.

She meant something to Edward.

"Oh..." she said softly. "You really don't stop with the flattery, do you, Edward?"

He chuckled, his eyes humored.

"Even if I sleep around-"

He stopped abruptly.

"Even if I used to sleep around," he said, watching her now as he spoke slowly, "I think I always kept in mind that someday, I might meet..."

He trailed off, his mind searching for a way to describe whatever he'd been waiting...

"You," he finished.

Each time he made such a confession, it was as if the realization started all over again - that she meant something to him.

The flattery was getting ridiculously intense now.

"I don't understand why you want this," she said.

"This?" he asked, his lips parted in a smile. "You? Or sex? Or sex with you?"

She breathed out nervously.

Then his hands ran up and down her legs. Her breaths grew shaky.

"I hate fighting with you," he said, his eyes fixated on hers. "I don't want to do that anymore."

He wanted her in more ways than just one. And she knew now that physically, it was good. It was very good.

And she had almost ruined everything.

"I'm sorry," she said abruptly, again. "I'm sorry for panicking. And assuming the worst. I'm sorry."

His eyes showed kindness and he softly pressed his lips against her temple.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," she said.

"I know. It's-"

"You deserve sex," she said. "Right here. I'm all yours."

He then lifted her up and she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding unto his waist tighter with her legs.

"What are you doing?" she gasped.

"Even though what you just said is very hot, somehow those words coming from your mouth just make you more cute."

"Excuse me-?"

"And even though you think I _deserve_ sex, I believe that you do too. So how about we just share to one another, hmm?"

She laughed a little, and said, "Why have you lifted me up?"

"What we're about to do should not be seen by the entire world. This one's for us."

He carried her to his bedroom and when he put her on the bed and leaned over her, she realized that this was the chosen location.

"What about your fantasy?" she said quietly.

"I'm living it."

* * *

He stroked her arms with his fingers.

"Rest," he said. "I'll keep your nightmares away this time."

She froze.

"Did I talk in my sleep?" she said awkwardly.

"Loud gasp," he said. "But I didn't want to disturb you, thinking you'd go back to sleep. What was the nightmare about?"

She closed her eyes in shame.

"Something about Rebecca and Manderley," she said. "I saw Manderley burn down."

She knew it probably meant nothing and it may seem like not even a nightmare, but the feeling of losing Manderley had been intense.

"You told me something and now I can't get it out of my head," she said softly.

He pushed away from her and looked at her.

"When you thought that I'm still repulsed by your touch, you said that maybe it's for the best... What did you mean?"

"It means that your staying here with me might not benefit you. But I also don't know if it would benefit you if we were apart."

Which meant, that nothing was sure. Nothing.

"It all comes back to James," she said with pain in her chest. "Doesn't it?"

"It can't last forever," he said. "James won't win."

She hoped he was right.

"I'll keep you safe, Bella," he said. "I promise."

Nobody had ever promised her anything. Her dad didn't believe in promises...seeing marriage is a promise and he and her mom broke that promise with a divorce. And her mom wasn't the kind of woman who would make a promise, ever.

"How?" she said in almost a whisper.

"For one, you're not going anywhere," he said.

"I might run, again."

"You can't outrun me."

And he did show her how true that was. A moment ago, she was running, but he found a way to keep her here.

"And second," he continued. "We're watching James closely. He makes one fault - hack, or enter the CC again - and that will be a violation of the law and with a good lawyer, we can try and bring him down."

"I hope you're right."

"And third," he said. "You'll need that bulletproof vest. It'll be delivered here in the morning."

So many precautionary measures... all for her. All to prove her that her life was in serious jeopardy.

She took a shaky breath, because so soon her mind was occupied again with terrible thoughts.

"What's Black Snake Moan?" she asked.

"A movie. You haven't seen it?"

She shook her head.

"Would you like to?"

"Now?"

He nodded with a shrug. "I'm not tired. Are you?"

"Not so much. But you haven't even slept."

"I go with little sleep."

She was uncertain at first, but he insisted. After they both sat on the couch in the living room, Edward found the movie and pressed play. After some time her body did yearn to sleep, but she didn't want to sleep. Even when her eyes repeatedly fell shut.

He laughed quietly as fought sleep.

"Come here," he said, waving her over.

"Why?"

"Lie down a little. It's good for you."

She looked a little confused, unsure whether this would be too much of a...cuddle...? Too strange? Too soon?

"Just rest your head on my legs," he said, softly pulling her closer by her shoulders. "It's okay."

Her body complied to his words and she felt her tired, aching body appreciate this position. She lay on her side, with her face pressed against his leg. Her eyes were on the television, but she couldn't understand why Christina Ricci was suddenly beaten to near death and left to die on the road.

He started running his fingers through her hair and the feeling was electrical and tingly. More importantly, it was soothing in a way she had never experienced.

She hummed and hoped he wouldn't stop.

She really didn't want morning to come.

"What are your plans?" she asked. "For work, I mean."

"Cancelled."

 _For her?_

She almost didn't dare to think it.

"You don't have to do that..." she said. "I should head home by the time you need to leave for work."

"You must go?" he asked.

"I should. And you should go to work. Keep up the routine."

"And what will you do all day?"

"Uhm. I'm going to think about whether I should move into this building..."

"Clever..what can I do to persuade you?"

"I won't tell you. You might act upon them..."

He laughed and it was the last thing she heard before she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Thank you," she said.

He shut off his engine and turned down to face her, his eyes humored.

 _Thank you_ for what, she thought herself.

"I mean-"

"Anything," he said. "Anytime."

He was about to open his door, but she stopped him.

"Honestly, you don't have to walk me to my door."

He seemed to be debating this.

"Go to work," she insisted. "We'll...talk."

"Do you want me to call?"

"Sure."

"Alright. Now go, before I come running after you..."

It was the look in his eyes that made Bella think that he might just do that if she didn't leave soon.

"See you," he said.

"Bye."

She was walking on a weird cloud as she entered the main entrance and walked up to her apartment.

Once she walked in and slowly leaned against her front door, she sighed.

 _What a day._

"Hello, Bella."

Her body grew very cold.

She should have invited Edward up.

"Keep your hands where I can see them," James said.

James Coven, the _one_ person she needed protection from and received so freely, stood before her, in her apartment...

"Did you have a nice date?" he continued.

He knew.

"Nice sleep over?" he said then.

He knew everything.

 _Talk to him, Bella._

"What do you want?" she whispered.

"I thought it's obvious," he replied with a sickly sweet smile.

She was too scared to utter out another word.

"I found Edward's. Took me _years._ But I think I'll find yours a bit sooner. Perhaps I already found it."

"Weakness?" she uttered out. "Well, the thing is...I'm an orphan. I'm socially awkward. I don't even own a pet..."

He smiled, a dark smile that disagreed.

"I have nothing..." she muttered.

 _Right?_

"You have _exactly_ what I need," he said in a dark voice.

She had been so certain he was wrong. There was nothing he could hold over her head.

But then she heard his next words, and she felt terribly cold.

How magnificently wrong she had been.

* * *

When James left, she fell to the ground and stayed there for a long time. The hours ticked by without much of her knowledge. She didn't want to get up or more or think or rest.

Is this what they called a mental breakdown?

The cold of the floor did eventually cause her arms to move a little. She helped herself up, very slow as a sudden onset of dizziness caught her. She wondered when the first text, the first order would arrive...

 _"Tell me what to do," she defeatedly said._

 _A satisfied look came across his face and he stepped forward._

 _"I'll send you the orders by text. Oblige to them."_

Perhaps the first text was already there, waiting to be read. She shuffled to her phone and as she moved, she noticed how surreal everything felt.

 _James Coven_ , a possible murderer, breaking into her house and waiting for her, while at the same time somebody had been stalking her and Edward and sending the information to James.

The first thing she saw on her phone was the time.

 _Was it that late already?_

It was almost five o'clock.

And to her greatest fear, she did have a text. The first order was there and she was too scared to find out what it was.

It frustrated her so that that James thought that she could even be of any use to him! She was clumsy and nervous. Now he was manipulating her into doing things she had yet to figure out what they were.

 _"What if I don't understand something?" she asked him. "What if I need a clarification from one of those texts you send me...?"_

 _"Don't let that happen."_

 _"What if something happens and I can't oblige to the orders...? If it's..."_

Impossible, _she thought, but didn't say out loud when she caught his eyes. They were glaring at her._

 _The message he gave her was clear; 'Don't that happen.'_

Like ripping of a band-aid, she opened the unread message and drew out a harsh breath

 _Of course. Call me when you're up - Edward_

It was just Edward.

She read the message over and over.

Not long ago, she had tried a different tactic to outsmart James.

 _"I have to pick up my phone if Edward calls me. He will call me."_

 _"In that case," James said. "Give me your phone."_

 _She froze, not wanted her phone in his hands. But he gave her a glare and she quickly handed it over._

Now Bella could see the text James had sent Edward, via her phone.

 _Feeling tired. Going to take a little nap. I'll call you instead, okay? - Bella_

Fear consumed her and the fact that James had sent a text to Edward and Edward believed it was Bella truly scared her. She took a long, hot shower and went over and over that moment that James had been in her apartment. It'd been so brief, yet so effective.

It was simple; Bella would have to do everything James told her.


	11. Chapter 10: First orders

**_AN_** _the occasional review I receive gives me reason to get these out, thank you very much for the support._

* * *

 _Chapter 10 - First orders_

It was nearly seven o'clock when her phone rung. She jumped from the sound and felt her heartbeat go faster. He wasn't supposed to call her, was he? The orders would be sent by text, he said...

 _God, don't let it be him... please don't let it be him... n_ _ot yet._

She wasn't ready. And her heart came at east when she saw that the called ID was Edward. She let it go to voicemail. But then he called her again... And again... And again...

At some point, Edward finally gave up and she was able to breathe again. She didn't want to ignore Edward, but she feared the sound of her voice when she would speak, feared that he would notice something that would make him suspicious.

She heard a bleep - she had a text. _James or Edward?_ Shit... Would she ever feel the sweet relief of calmness again?

She looked at her phone and read out loud:

"Pick up your phone, Bella."

For once, the demanding tone of Edward's way of speaking was soothing - it was at least something familiar. And when he called, she picked up.

"Hmm?" she said shakily.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She inhaled sharply. "Nothing," she answered. "I'm just...tired."

"You could have picked up your phone," he said. "I thought-"

He stopped abruptly and she mentally slapped herself.

 _Way to go, Bella._

He had worried for her.

James told her precisely to not ruin it, to not ruin his plan. _Or else there would be consequences._

"I-I'm okay," she reassured him to her best ability. "You?"

She used as little words as possible.

"I forgot about the bulletproof vest. I thought I come drop it by your place."

She bit her lip nervously.

Firstly, because seeing Edward now in the mess that she was would be very unbeneficial - she was a mess. Her eyes were red, her mind was blurry, her face showed fear. She was _not_ at her best, not at all. Second, she didn't need the bulletproof vest. Not anymore. James wouldn't kill her. He needed her for his plan.

"I'm actually exhausted," she said. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"You haven't decided, then," he said.

 _About what?_

She thought hard about what she should have decided about...she really had no clue what he was talking about.

"Edward..." she muttered quietly, her soul utterly tired.

Could he tell from the sound of her voice that something was wrong? She hoped he could, but then...there would be consequences.

 _No._

She would try harder to fool Edward.

 _Or else there would be devastating consequences._

"I didn't mean to push you," he said. "Don't let my impatience make you wonder whether the offer still stands. Because it does."

 _What offer?_

"Indefinitely," he added.

"You didn't push me," she said, because that was a fact.

"Ah. You have you decided, then?"

"Well..."

How could she stupidly explain she didn't know what he was talking about? Her brain wasn't working with her. His voice was soothing and calm - it should've given Bella some rest of the mind, but she feared rest was something her mind would never get again.

"Well?" he said suggestively.

"What offer are you talking about?" she said forcefully. "My brain is foggy..."

 _That was an understatement._

"The movement?" he said, a smile in his voice. "The view? My flat?"

 _Oh._

His offer to move into his flat building.

She let out a breath and said, "Yes."

She only meant to say that she now remembered what he said.

"Yes?" he said, his voice changing. "Great. That's great."

 _Oh, shit._ _Did she just agree to move into his flat?_

"I'm tired," she said.

"I know," he said, and she swore that he was grinning. "You said that already."

"Well-"

"Can I come inside?"

She froze and dared not to move anymore. "You're here?" she said quietly.

"Yes."

 _Shit._

"Did you eat dinner?" he asked.

"I haven't."

"Would you like to?"

She wanted him very far away from her. She wanted to flee. But there would be consequences, as James told her.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

"Whatever you want."

She pressed her lips on each other.

"Just give me five. My..." _entire body shows fear and terror._

"Sure," he said carefully. "Will you come down or...?"

"Sure," she answered quickly.

She hung up and assessed first her clothes.

 _Thick knitted sweater three sizes too large, reaching her thighs, and warm black tights._

That would do. It's not like she was impressing him or anything. As soon as she had that thought, _'I'm not trying to impress him'_ , she had an idea...an idea that could work, if she really tried hard.

She could, to her best ability, make Edward stop loving her. She could try...and with that...all ties would break loose and she would be free again. It was almost too naive to think this, but damn him! Damn James! Damn it!

 _But if she were to succeed...she could maybe win from James._

She would try. That was a fact. It was a long shot and most likely a plan to fail. But she would try. How? Her appearance was a start; she could walk around ugly and unflattering and disgusting. With that idea in her head, she forced herself to the bathroom and looked at her reflection. She looked like a truck had ran over her body, several times. She tried to calm her tense lips and let her eyes show less fear. But it was very hard to do so. If this wasn't good enough, if he saw her and noticed a change, she would be screwed and _there would be consequences._

It was important to stay calm, to stay casual, to stay normal, so Edward wouldn't notice something about her was different, even though everything had changed and was now different. With that in mind, she walked downstairs to meet Edward. Of course, she hoped he would stop loving her, because it was the only way... and by God, she felt terrible, absolutely terrible.

 _How did this happen to her?_ _How could this have-_

"Hi," Edward said.

She jumped from the sound of his voice. His scowl caught her more of guard and she quickly looked away, trying to not feel so damn guilty for something that wasn't even her fault.

"Hey," she responded.

"You are a little liar, aren't you?" he said, pushing himself from her car to walk toward her.

She inhaled sharply and stared, with shock consuming her body.

"What?" she whispered.

"You told me you're okay," he said, his eyes dark.

She was frozen in her spot as he reached her.

"Obviously you're not."

She swallowed nervously and shook her head. "It's fine."

"You don't look-"

"I don't want to talk about me."

He raised an eyebrow.

 _That_ may have come out a bit too harshly. Then he held up something in his hand.

"I got your vest."

She stared at it briefly.

"He wouldn't kill me," she tried.

He smirked and shook his head. "You can't gamble with the odds. Your life is at risk."

 _No,_ she thought. _Not anymore._

But he didn't know that.

"I'm actually not that hungry," she said in an attempt to not have to go to a place, with people, who all had a life much different from Bella's.

"If you don't want to talk about you and you don't want to eat, then what do you do want?"

 _Things she could never have._

She knew that her idea to turn around the tables, so she would get the upper hand on James was something she could try and accomplish. There was only one way to find out if it would work, and it involved sex. Lots and lots of sex. If he had her countless of times, he could grow tired of her, sick of her...

"Can we just... I don't know..." she tried.

 _She's not that girl..._ She would have to become that girl.

He leaned against his car.

"You have something on mind," he said casually. "Might as well spill it out."

She swallowed nervously.

"That bad?" he joked.

She felt herself smile without ever feeling the humor. However, she couldn't say the words. She would have to show him. Somehow.

"Do you want to go for a ride?" she asked.

"With my car or your body?"

Her lips parted in shock but he laughed and opened the door.

"I'm _joking_ ," he said with a grin. "I couldn't help myself."

He waited for her to get in, but she was struck by the comment...struck by it unexpectedly hard. She turned to face him when she stood next to him.

She said awkwardly, "I didn't think you would..."

What exactly was it she was even trying to say to him? Her mind was too jumbled up to understand it herself.

Apparently, Edward agreed with Bella's turmoil, because he said, "What?"

"Never mind," she said with a sigh.

She stepped into his car awkwardly and kept her eyes on the road. Even when he stepped inside, started the car and drove out of her street.

"Any particular place you had in mind?" he asked.

"No. Yes. Just...I'll tell you when to stop."

"Mysterious, much?"

Her phone buzzed and Bella instantly froze because now she knew for sure that it was James.

She knew.

Her hands shook badly and her heart had started beating faster then ever.

And the words he texted her, read: _Where you go, I go._

James knew that she and Edward were together now. And if she told Edward that James was blackmailing her, there would be consequences.

"Who texted you?" Edward asked casually.

She raised her eyes and just when she looked up, his head turned to meet her eyes. He looked suspicious and Bella felt like such an idiot. Also, she thought that James was an idiot for thinking that she could pull this through. How could she stop her hammering heart and the consuming fear from eating her alive? How could she pretend in front of Edward that everything was okay? That she was okay? That everything was just normal?

Her phone, still in her hands, buzzed loudly in her ear - she just received another text message. She watched her telephone and feared whatever James had just texted her.

She made sure Edward didn't see her screen and read the text with a loud beating heart: _You should remember, Bella, that I see and hear everything._

"Something happening that I should know about?" he said.

"No," she said quickly. "I'm fine."

Of course, her response made no sense and they both knew it.

"Who texted you?" he said again, his eyes amused... but not amused _amused._ They showed danger. Why did she suddenly feel so unsafe?

Her phone buzzed again and her mind screamed, _Leave me alone!_ She didn't dare to look. Firstly, James texted her _anonymously_. She couldn't even respond to the texts, even if she didn't understand them. Secondly, they deleted themselves after a few seconds once they were opened and read by her. He told her that this afternoon.

She glanced down and read the third text: _Let him fuck you. It appears that is something he likes. Also it will distract him from your lousy performance._

She stared at the text long enough for it to disappear right before her eyes. Let...him... _fuck_...her. That was... _no!_

NO! Her plan was to make Edward stop loving her, and the only way should could think of was to give him all of her in any way until he grew tired of her. Her plan had been to stop his car on the side of the road and let him...

 _...fuck her._

She was willing to let him use her body for his own pleasure, for the sake of a _chance_ of untying herself from James. Only now, it was impossible...because James ordered her to let Edward fuck her. That brought this to another dimension.

"Bella," Edward said.

She looked up. "Yeah," she breathed.

"What's happening?"

She wanted to ask something in the direction of, _what makes you think something is happening?_ But then she realized she was clutching the evidence tightly now. If James wanted her to be better at her performance, she needed to turn off her emotions.

"Someone who invited me for an interview," she replied. "The text, I mean."

He seemed dumbstruck.

"An interview?" he said, one eyebrow raised.

"It's a start," she said with a shrug.

"When is the interview?" he said with an amused smile.

"We're still debating a date."

She was surprised that her lies came out so fluently and naturally. She didn't know herself like this.

"You don't need to go on that interview."

"Not everyone is high and mighty and the CC of a major company and drowning in money. I still need a job."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you really?"

He caught her eyes briefly. She shook her head.

"No need-" she had begun to say when she felt her phone go off again.

The text read: _Tell him you want your old job._

What the hell?! How could this have happened? _How_ did he know _everything_? That _bastard_ was listening in on their conversation and it freaking frustrated her that a creep was currently invading their privacy's so violently.

Also, the text _'tell him you want your old job'_ made no sense...What was that supposed to mean? That she should work in the cleaning staff again? She couldn't find a single reason why James would force her to not change her job...

Bella sighed hard. This was a puzzle, but most of the pieces were missing. She looked over her shoulder, almost expecting something to happen. But there was nobody and nothing around. This probably amused James... her fear, her willingness to do anything. A flare of rage hit her, but she pressed her lips as she realized that this man was not to be argued with. He had all the power. She was a pawn he could manipulate in any direction he wanted.

All this time, she thought there were _spies_ , but what if that wasn't the case? What if he put something on her that made him hear whatever conversation was going on between them? Unless there were some really good lip-readers around... but that could not possibly be it - they would have to be all around them to catch their lips from different angles. But what could he possibly use to hear them and follow their current conversation? Something close to Bella? Something close to Edward? Them both?

"Let me guess," Edward said. "You're still debating a date for that interview?"

She felt herself scowl. The way he spoke hinted impatience and mock... Why mock, though? What was so odd about her receiving a job invitation?

"No need to get sarcastic," she snapped. "Did you learn that characteristic somewhere along your road as an arrogant CEO or were you just born this way?"

She thought that perhaps this is not quite the behavior James was expecting from her - nor was it what Bella intended to do, but her feelings were suddenly too much to bear. Her sarcasm was caused by James and now she was directing it to Edward. She wasn't angry with Edward, but she needed to get this out of her system.

"Do you want to talk about whatever shit you're going through?" he asked impatiently.

 _That_ triggered her even more...he had no right to lose his patience, no right at all.

"There's absolutely nothing," she said exaggeratedly.

"Fucking lies, Bella," he snapped. "Just like your story of someone offering you a job."

"Why the hell would that be a lie?" she snapped.

 _Because it was_ , a tiny voice told her.

"Tell me what the hell is going on so I can try to fix it," he said. "I can't do anything unless you tell me what's wrong."

 _You can't fix this, Edward..._

"I'm just going through a little conflict, is all."

"A conflict with what?" he asked.

 _James and his threat._

"Last night," she said curtly. _Not a lie._

He sighed. "I will keep you safe, Bella. I promise."

It would seem so that it's possible to break a promise before it was even sealed. Ironic, isn't it?

First she heard him hum, then he said, "But that's not the part of the night you meant."

His words confused her and she wondered what he meant by them. She noticed his small smile, but his eyes were hidden behind a dark shadow.

"I can tell from your face," he said. "You're conflict isn't about James, is it?"

Her lips parted, because...that was totally it...James, the unexpected visit in her apartment, his threat...everything about James was why she was now at conflict. But she didn't dare and voice out her fears.

"You meant the part where we had sex," he said.

She inhaled sharply at the sudden reminder of their most intimate moment last night.

"So what about it?" he asked, turning his eyes briefly to her. "What was wrong with that?"

 _Absolutely nothing,_ is what she should have said. But still, she couldn't speak.

"Do you regret it?" he asked boldly.

 _No,_ she had to say. But the word refused to leave her lips. Why? She didn't know.

"Come on, Bella," he said in a clipped tone. "Don't just say nothing."

She swallowed nervously and gathered courage and a few words to answer him with. But before she could come up with an answer, he beat her it again. Edward was much faster with his words then Bella was.

"Unless your silence is your answer. But do please tell, which time did you hate the most? The first time? Or the second time? Or was it anything specific? Because I would've sworn you weren't faking those orgasms with the way you screamed."

Slowly but surely, this was no longer a simple questionnaire. It was turning into a repetition of last night, in his office, where he repeatedly offended her. And so she waited, just to see if her hypothesis would be confirmed.

"Or was I _too_ careful? Would you have preferred something closely related to your first experience? With some hair pulling perhaps? A pounding and pace that would've made you sore until this minute?"

Her eyes pricked. She didn't know why Edward became like this when he was angry - whatever the reason may be. She tried to find a reason on his face, but the answers weren't there. His face was hard.

"Do you regret it?" she gently asked.

He chuckled.

It would be a good thing if he regretted it. It would mean he had stopped loving her.

"Do you hate that I'm not the experienced and easy kind of slut that you always have come over in your office?"

"What do you think, Bella?"

The way he said her name was sharp. She didn't like it.

"I don't know...it would have made everything easier for you," she said. "Only what I don't understand is if you hated it the first time why you would want to do it a second time with me."

He raised an eyebrow in her direction, his face serious.

"You really think I regret it?" he asked her.

"I already said that I don't know!" she snapped. " _Nothing_ about you is readable."

He gave her a long, hard look until the moment she dropped her eyes to no longer see his analysis of her.

"I'm asking, because I really can't tell if you regret it," she said. "And if you do, just bring me back home."

"No," she heard him say. "I don't regret it."

She felt like she was being suffocated by James and whatever way he had of _watching_ them. She couldn't think with his presence so near. For a brief moment, there was only silence.

Until Edward said, "I'm not in the mood for any games."

Games? When was it that Bella had begun playing games? It was usually the other way around...

"I'm not playing any games..." she said.

"Is that so, Bella?" he asked with sudden sarcasm dripping in his voice.

"No," she said nervously. "I'm really not."

"Alright," he said.

He stopped the car on the side of the road and turned his body to give her his full attention.

"Who texted you?" he asked with his eyes never leaving hers. "Give me the name. Better yet, show me your phone. Show me _right now_ you're not lying to me."

She froze and held onto her phone tighter.

He smirked.

"Didn't think so," he said darkly.

"What?" she said in vain. "I told you-"

"You know, I never thought you could be such a liar-"

"I don't regret last night!" she said in frustration. "It probably meant a lot more to me than it did to you!"

She was breathing faster, harder, and a new fear developed inside of her. Edward didn't respond.

This new fear would probably consume her till her dying breath. She thought of something else to say, something to make things less awkward, something that could help her. She could only come up with one thing.

 _God, forgive me._

She looked up and saw that he was staring outside the window, seemingly deep in thought. Then, she reached forward, placed her hand on his shoulder and pressed her lips against his. The position forced her to lean more forward and in her rush, she decided to not think and just do...and do she did as she changed her position so that she sat on top of him with her arms wrapped around his neck.

She didn't know she could be like this, but it was confirmed now; she was initiating physical contact, with Edward Cullen, in a car parked on the side of the highway.

Edward unexpectedly deepened the kiss and the feeling of his hands on her body was not the same as last night when she didn't know that James was present as well - not physically, but James ears and eyes were with them. He could maybe see them, right now...maybe he could hear them...hear her breaths slowly turning to panting... That thought brought her out of focus and she thought that the way he abruptly ended the kiss had something to do with that.

"Do you think you can distract me by offering your body?" he asked with mock in his voice.

 _Exactly what James had texted her..._

She was trying to distract him with sex. And Edward saw right through her...he saw.

"Not that I disagree with the latter, but I didn't peg you for the type of girl to be so cheap. Especially since last night _probably_ meant a lot more to you than it did to me, right? So what now, huh? You're on top of me. Do you want to take the lead? If that is something you are even capable of."

Her broken heart froze and shattered into a million pieces when he called her cheap. He was so mean and she couldn't respond, because James had sealed her lips.

"You're being secretive, and now you think I'm dumb enough to not see that this sex offer is a way to hide the truth behind you."

Even if she was hurt, she needed to come up with a lie and she had to think of it quick. She tried to speak, she really did, but no words formed.

He raised an eyebrow. Once again Edward was the one to beat her with responding first.

"Hmm. Never mind, Izzy."

 _Izzy?_ _Why did he call her Izzy?_

"Let's forget about last night. It meant nothing anyway."

 _Last night...meant nothing._

She could tell that the shock she felt was clear to be seen on her face, but he didn't seem to care.

"W-What? No...no..." she tried desperately.

"Keep your secrets," he continued. "I don't want them. Instead, let's take you outside and continue this on the hood of my car. Perhaps we can do the bending over thing. Would you like that?"

 _Everything_ was going wrong. But the thing that felt the most wrong...was when he called her Izzy. That hit a soft spot, especially in combination when he called her cheap. She tried to get away from him, but he reached her waist and held her tight.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, his eyes full of mock.

Oh, there was a way to end this all... She could insult him too and she could anger him some more, and more... But then, there would be those consequences, right? If he got angry with her, there would be consequences... It's the consequences that were consuming her mind and forcing her to stay silent.

"I did pay you, after all?" he said, his face scoffing and his eyes watching her darkly. "One hundred grand _and_ paid your debts. So, what do you say? How long is your body mine? A month? Two months? Three months?"

When she tried to get off of him, he only held her tighter, forcing her in place. She brought her eyes up to his, thinking to herself that she was too weak to fight him.

"Why aren't you letting me go?" she asked weakly.

"I just want an answer," he said, feigning innocence. "You basically owe me for the amount of cash I've given you and I don't think those two times I fucked you last night will do. So, how often can I fuck you until you're no longer indebted to me?"

This man...

This behaviour...

This rotten character...

How dare he be so cruel to her?

"How cheap are you?" he asked.

It reminded her of a moment last night when he was foul and cruel. In that moment, last night, Edward made her a deal - he told her something that she only remembered just now.

"You owe me," she blurted out.

His eyebrows rose and he laughed. It was a mean and dark laugh and it was directed at her personally.

"Keep dreaming, Izzy. I _own_ you in any way I want for probably the rest of your life. Unless you pay me back. But I have a feeling you can't."

She briefly wondered if he thought that she had spent all his money, which would further explain his reasoning for calling her cheap. But now was not the moment to collect her hurt pride and tell the truth - she needed to turn the tables around.

"No, you do _owe_ me-" she had begun saying.

"I owe you nothing. Never have and never will."

"I swear it's true-"

"Don't act like an idiot."

She breathed out in frustration. He was the fast talker and she was the slow talker. He never allowed her to think her words through and when she did speak, he interrupted her and insulted her, calling her the idiot. He smirked when she didn't speak and brought his hands slowly down her body, touching the edge of her sweater by her hips.

She snapped her eyes to him, but his eyes were down, on his hand - he raised her sweater up until his cold fingers dug in her skin and raised her sweater up to her waist. She didn't bother stopping him.

 _Let him do it_ , a silent voice told her.

"Last night, I asked you why you like me," she said quickly, remembering how it began, remembering why he owed her a favor. Her voice shook.

"No need to be nervous," he said condescendingly, probably referring to her shaking voice.

He pulled her abruptly closer to him and she gripped his shoulders tighter. His eyes held more control than she'd ever seen and it frightened her to see him like this.

"Besides, it's you who initiated this. You hauled your body on mine like a needy slut. Don't worry, I'll make sure you feel some pleasure as well."

His words numbed her completely, until his lips reached her neck and went up to her lips - that's when she struggled. He brought one of his arms around her neck and pushed her closer to him - immobilizing her. All struggles were in vain. And when he tried to kiss her again, she didn't feel it. It was nothing compared to what it had been last night. It wasn't gentle, kind and generous as it had been last night. It was a nightmare compared to last night. This was an enraged man taking what he wanted, regardless of the consequences. Right now, he didn't like her. She was sure. That both angered and saddened her.

"You're the liar, not me," she said as she put all her strength into pushing herself away from him.

His arm loosened only a little to allow eye contact between them.

"Sue me," he said with narrowed eyes.

He didn't even bother to ask her to what she was referring to! Even worse - he didn't deny it...he didn't deny lying.

"You never loved me and never liked me," she said. "It was all a lie. Wasn't it?"

"What can I say? Who could ever love trash?"

Her lips trembled and she gasped for air a few times, quickly.

 _How could he say something so cruel in a time so delicate?_

She was at her most fragile now and his back stabbing words were going to push her off the edge soon.

"Your answer," she said quickly, not forgetting her purpose. "You said that you-"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't be pathetic."

That being said, tears did drop and he watched her angrily.

He demanded, "Stop crying."

"How can I, if you won't listen to me?" she said desperately.

"I don't care about your words."

"I can't get through to you and maybe I should give up-"

"Please do give up your worthless attempts at talking. It's useless and pathetic."

 _Because you keep interrupting me..._

 _Because you are doing this on purpose and you know it..._

He glared at her while she felt more and more powerless.

"First maybe," she said slowly, "you teach me how it is that you so easily switch of all emotions."

"I don't need to teach you how to be heartless. You already are. And if you won't shut up, I'll make you shut up."

"What's so wrong with-?"

Her attempt of speech was robbed when he pressed his hand against her lips and attacked her neck with his lips. She forced air in and out...in and out... through her nose. She gasped when the way he sucked was too soar on her sensitive skin. His hand on her mouth moved to the back of her neck. He reached for her lips and pushed her body closer against his with his hand between her shoulder blades. His fingers pressed hard in her skin as his tongue entered her mouth.

Then, she swayed - in fact, everything swayed. She closed her eyes and the swaying got worse. When she opened her eyes, she felt herself slowly go limp and everything was briefly very dark.

Edward ended the kiss harshly and gave her a disgusted look.

"You really don't need to _fake_ a faint," he said. "If you don't want this, I'll only need to hear the words and I'll stop."

Bella never fainted, she knew this. There had been only three events in her life when she had fainted.

1\. The day her parents died.

2\. Yesterday evening.

3\. Now.

It took a life changing event for Bella to lose control of her body and faint.

If Edward knew this about Bella, he would know how terrible the mess that Bella was in right now truly was. She didn't know what was quite wrong with her. She felt empty. Everything was...void. It was as if she wasn't here, in the present, with him. Her body was there, but she didn't feel it.

If she told him to stop - would that anger James, or not?

"I didn't fake the faint," she said weakly, with little breath left in her body. "In my entire life, I've only fainted three times-"

"I won't fall for your lies again," he said with a smirk.

 _He didn't believe her..._

Her head was a complete mess from James' words, Edward's actions and her own robbed authority. He pulled her closer again when she was no longer limp - only she did the only thing she could think of.

She placed her own hand over his mouth.

Yesterday he broke her. Was it possible to get broken again?

"I beg you, Edward," she said in a choke as more tears wet her cheeks, "to give me a moment."

He flinched, but didn't remove her hand - didn't push her away, slap her away or turn away from her. What she noticed instantly is how cold her fingers truly were. There were much colder than Edward's. She felt her fingers burning against his face. _Was she that cold?_

She didn't know why he flinched - the cold of her fingers or the disgust her felt for her or her request of a moment or the fact that she begged him. She expected a comment, a mean expression that would go something like _'you need a moment, again?'_.

Nevertheless, she was given a moment which she gladly took to collect herself. She kept her eyes downcast.

"You aren't continuing..." she said carefully.

She was about to thank him for that, but he had turned cold again. He slapped her hand away.

"Isn't that what you just asked me?" he snapped. "To stop."

She briefly looked down uncertainly and nodded. "Then why, if I want you to listen, you don't?"

His eyes grew darker at her comment and he pressed his lips on each other.

"You're all into deals, right?" she said.

"You want to make me a deal?" he said with a dark smile. "How to seal the deal? You don't have anything I want."

"I might."

He watched her up and down, his eyes halting on her eyes.

"Go ahead," he said. "What's your offer?"

"You can..."

 _Could she say it?_

She closed her eyes. She was aware of her position; her hands holding his shoulders, her legs spread wide as she sat on top of him and his hands gripping her waist underneath her sweater. She was very well aware; they were so close to sex.

 _Might as well use it to my advantage,_ she thought.

She said, "Tonight... tonight, you can fuck me on the hood of your car, or however and wherever, if you first listen to me."

She forced herself to stay strong.

He snorted and asked in a singsong voice, "What's the catch?"

 _Oh, he dared..._

"I'm not like you, Edward."

He glared at her and to say she was intimidated was an understatement.

"Is it that hard to listen to what I have to say?" she said desperately. "Is it that impossible to give me ten, no, probably not even ten... let's say _five_ minutes of your time before you can continue this...this..." _whatever it is._

"Five minutes?" he said casually.

"Yes," she breathed out in relief.

"If I listen to you for five minutes, you'll sell your body to me?"

Her lips remained sealed.

"Didn't think so," he said.

"Wait..." She sighed. "I already told you that you that tonight you can... you can..."

She couldn't even say the words again.

"You can have my body tonight if you listen to me first."

"Alright," he said.

She swallowed nervously.

"It's a deal, Izzy," he said, deliberately slow. "Now talk."

She blacked out. Stared at him with a blank mind, saying nothing.

 _What had she done?_

"Your precious five minutes are running," he said with a chuckle.

She couldn't remember what to say.

Edward watched her up and down, clearly not seeing that Bella was frozen. Or maybe he did see and chose not to care. His hands under her sweater moved suddenly, and she didn't know how he did it, but she felt him pull her sweater up. It slowly left her body until he pulled it over her head and discarded it on the passenger's seat. She still had her tank top on, however...

He reached down, watching her as he slowly started pulling that up as well...

His dark eyes were haunting her, blocking her. His actions were foul and they were reminding her again that even though they made a deal, he was still simply doing whatever he wanted, without any regards of her.

She reached down and held his hands. She tried to regain some power herself

"You're in violation of our deal," she said.

"Time is running," he said dryly. "Thought I might as well undress you so I can start to take what's mine. According to the deal, right?"

He was stronger then her as he fought her hands that were preventing him from undressing her.

"There is no deal if you don't stop playing according to your own set of rules," she said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not fucking you yet. How is undressing you in violation of the deal?"

"Fuck you, Edward," she snapped. "You have no idea what I'm going through!"

His hand grabbed her head and she felt him press the back of her head closer to him until they were only a kiss apart.

She gasped at the sudden closeness between them. He didn't say anything, at first, and she wasn't sure what was happening now.

"Then tell me," he said with sharp eyes.

"Let me go..." she tried in vain.

"Fucking tell me what you are hiding," he said angrily.

 _What could she possible say?_

 _How could she respond adequately?_

"If you tell me now whether you are a bitch who works for James, then I will only torture you a little," he said darkly. "If I find out later, I won't spare you. Not even a little."

She gasped for air and nearly broke then and there.

"I don't..." she gasped in terror, "don't work for him... I don't work for James."

"I will believe you, after verifying something for myself. Don't move," he ordered.

She almost screamed when Edward yanked the phone from her back pocket. He glanced at her screen. Bella tried to take back her phone, but he pressed her head closer to his body to immobilize her.

 _No! No! No!_

He could, not ever, see that James was texting her. Of course, she knew the text were erased once she opened and read them. But she was still paranoid that in that moment, James would send her a text and Edward would see it.

In her maddening attempt to have him release her, she bit him in his neck. Yes, she bit him really hard - drawing blood and tasting the salt.

"Fuck!" he snapped, releasing her and pushing her away from him.

He brought his free hand to his neck and his fingers retreated with blood on them.

Bella was focused on getting back her phone and there was a moment where she touched it...she almost had it. As soon as that happened, Edward yanked her phone back into his possession. He raised up his hand with the phone and he crashed it into the dashboard. Then, he handed her the phone.

 _What...the...hell...did...he...do...?_

She took it with shaking hands, staring at the cracked screen which had gone black. When she tried to put it on, it didn't work.

 _What had he done?_

The consequences... but those consequences. What if James texted her? What instructions could she now not see because Edward broke her phone?

She raised her eyes to Edward and felt true hysteria.

"You broke my phone!" she snapped. "You-"

"You bit me, crazy whore."

He easily pulled the phone from her weakened hands and discarded it next to her sweater on the passenger's seat.

"Your time is up," he said.

 _What would happen now, with James?_

 _What would he think, when she didn't comply to his texts?_

 _Would he know that her phone was broken and that she couldn't read them?_

 _Would he show mercy?_

Nevertheless... he could still be listening. And she thought of a way to end that...

Edward would probably hate her.

But she had to try, right?

First she needed to fool James.

"You shouldn't have broken my phone, you jerk!" she screamed, hoping badly that James heard her hysteria and mental breakdown. "I need my phone."

"You won't need it for the next few hours," he said. "Get undressed."

"You don't realize what you have done!" she screamed, starting to shake him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he snapped, pushing her arms away from his shoulders.

Her eyes, which were looking around frantically, couldn't find his phone.

"Fine!" she said, "take me anyway you want!"

She was fairly sure James couldn't _see_ them, but he could _hear_ them. So she put in all her emotions in her voice.

Then, she finally spotted Edward's phone; in his front pocket.

 _How could she get it fast without him knowing?_

Pretend to... _Unbuckle him?_

She had to. Society had placed the word _whore_ on her body. Edward had placed the word _whore_ on her body. It didn't matter anymore if she had to save her pride. She had to remind herself of the consequences.

Her hands went to Edward's belt and she started unbuckling him. She was afraid to find him turned on.

Last night, she had seen him get hard.

Right now, an erection was absent. That confused her more then anything for a moment, but she wasn't allowed to lose precious time. Her hand sneaked up to his pocket and she managed to pull out his phone.

Without giving it any thought, she did the same as him - she crashed his phone onto the dashboard. Upon one glance, she could tell the damage was done and his phone too was dead.

If the phones were James' listening tool, they were now gone and for a moment, Edward and she had privacy.

Was she sure about it? No.

She turned her eyes to Edward, seeing him watch her as if she'd gone mad.

The consequences still haunted her, because she could never be sure if James had other ways or tricks to follow Bella. But for a moment, she needed to steal some time and she hoped this was it.

She leapt forward, pressed her chest against Edward's and wrapped her arms around his neck. There, where she had previously bit him, she pressed her lips quietly in a gentle sorry.

"What-" he had begun saying.

She pressed her hand against his lips quickly and held him tighter.

"Edward..."

Calling him by his name suddenly felt foreign. It was no longer natural, but different.

"Let me go," he said in a hard voice.

When she didn't, he pushed her away. It felt like she no longer meant anything to him.

If Edward could look into her mind, she would be saved. And there would be consequences.

She felt so ashamed - he didn't know that all her crazy actions and behaviour was due to James.

"I understand that you hate me," she said. "And that you don't trust me. And don't believe me. And that you'll torture me if you find out if I work for James."

He held her eyes briefly.

"But I won't stop you again," she said.

"You really are a whore, then?"

Hearing him say that was too painful.

She wanted to fight it, but the invisible force held by James was too tight.

"If you say so," she said quietly.

"No," he said sharply. "You are selling me your body and you're scheming something behind my back. That makes you untrustworthy _and_ a whore. Admit it already."

She was on the verge of crying. She hated that he thought that. His stare was driving her crazy.

He continued, "You made this deal with your body. Remember? That's what a whore does. They sell their body because they know how worthless they truly are. Isn't that what you have done? Didn't you sell your body to me for tonight? Isn't that what a whore does?"

Each and every time, it was becoming more and more unbearable.

"We made a deal," she said weakly. "Because I had something to tell you. But you wouldn't listen."

This was the most difficult position she had ever been placed in her life.

With her eyes, she told him, _You would understand if you knew the whole story._

With her lips, she said, "I don't care anymore what you think of me. But we made a deal so...do whatever you like."

She was scared. But not of the deal, not of what Edward could do to her.

She was scared of James. She had never been more scared.

"Talk," he ordered. "The deal said five minutes."

She raised her eyes to him in surprise, her lips parting slowly.

"Go on," he said with a scoff. "Even a whore would take what little is given her."

Why did it hurt, every time?

She said, "Forget it, Mr Cullen."

He watched her deadly and she shrunk away.

She felt strange calling him _mister_ but she couldn't help it. Their relationship had altered abruptly.

"What would you take, if I gave you a favor?" he asked.

 _A favor..._

Did this mean...that she didn't misinterpret?

"What?" she whispered.

"I gave you a favor last night," he said. "For that, I owe you one. Isn't that what you've been trying to tell me all this time?"

She felt her body stiffen.

"You agree that you owe me?" she asked in a small voice.

The haunting look he gave her made her realized that she had been played - he had been aware of the things he said last night but he kept her in the dark. He tricked her.

"When did you figure that out?" she asked painfully slow.

He didn't answer her.

"You tricked me," she said. "You pretended that you don't owe me and had me believing I made it all up in my head. You made me doubt myself."

He never cared.

"Joke's on me," she said with a dry smile. "I..."

He watched her up and down. She had given up.

 _This was the point, after all._ She needed to do this so Edward would stop loving her. She could try and break free from James...

"You could have already fucked me and finished," she said in a different tone. "Preparing for round two. It's ironic, right, that instead of fucking me, you're talking to me?"

"If that's what you prefer, step out of the car and start bending over then," he said with deadly eyes.

 _Oh, no..._

She glanced sideways uncertainly.

She knew her fear for James was most prominent, but she couldn't stop the fear creeping up on her when Edward spoke to her this way.

She was still scared.

"Are you going to hurt me?" she asked, her eyes down on his chest.

"No."

Her body weakened. Something shifted in the atmosphere and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

 _No?_

He grabbed her chin and forced her eyes to meet his.

"You are really getting on my nerves," he said. "What's your problem?"

"What?" she croaked out.

"You have a fucking favor. Weren't you-"

"No, I don't," she said, interrupting him for the first time since this evening.

He chuckled. "Does this mean you don't want your favor?"

"I don't want anything from you," she said. "Not anymore."

"Fine," he said curtly. "Consider _that_ your favor and I now don't owe you anymore."

"As if."

She tried to get free, but he brought his hand to the side of her head and she gasped when he held her tightly by her hair.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

She asked desperately, "Why are you asking me questions, instead of-?" ... _that which they agreed on according to the deal._

"Right now you're in anticipation of the unknown. It's enjoyably. To see you miserable."

She took a shaky breath and forced herself to not cry. How could it be that last night this man was completely different? Even if this was part of her plan, she couldn't stop herself...she had to say the one thing that was bothering her.

"I don't owe you anything. _All_ the money you transferred me was according to your own free will. After you're done fucking me, I'll transfer all of it back to you."

 _Minus my salary,_ she told herself.

"Did I hurt your pride?" he asked.

She needed to seal her lips shut. He backfired every time she said something.

"I don't want anything from you anymore because you will fail to deliver," she muttered. "That's why."

He held her a little tighter and she forced herself to not move in fear it would provoke him.

 _She had already provoked him._

"Don't forget that I granted you a favor," he said, "but you refused."

"Is that really what I did?" she said in a hurt voice. "Or is it a bastard who's making me chase something that doesn't exist?"

He steered his head a little and slowly released her hair. His hand started running downwards, past her shoulder, her collarbone to her heaving chest. His fingers went past her breast to her stomach and she wondered if her would do it now and start undressing her.

She needed to keep her composure but inside she was falling apart.

 _Was this the moment he would take her outside?_

 _Would a part of her die after tonight?_

"Let's make you a deal," he said in a darker voice.

"No more deals," she said, shaking her head.

"Once I'm done with you tonight, I'll drive you home if you first tell me what it is you're so badly chasing."

She felt herself scowl. "What do you mean, drive me home? What else would you have...?"

She trailed off as she could very much imagine what he would do after he was done with her. When her eyes met his, she knew he was that cruel.

At least she was one step ahead of him.

"I don't care," she said. "Wherever you dump me, I'll walk back home."

It would appear so that he was several steps ahead of her.

"Without your clothes?" he asked casually.

She froze.

"Yeah," he said. "I would leave you out on the street naked with the evidence of sex running down your legs. Good luck with that. The media will go mad if they see what has become of you. They will finally have a photograph of your recently fucked body."

For a moment, she was speechless.

"Last night... you were-" _a good man..._

"Forget about last night. I have."

She was near hyperventilation and her tears fell once more.

"Do we have a deal?" he said.

"W-Would you really humiliate me like that?"

"If we don't have a deal, you will find out soon enough."

"I could sue you if you did that," she tried with her eyes downcast. "For assault."

"I know."

She brought her eyes up in shock at how casually he answered.

"Still, I would," he said. "I can afford a lawyer, whereas you only have debts. Because, you are transferring me back all the money I once sent you. And I will allow you the same courtesy by withdrawing the deposit I made on you loans."

She died inside. It didn't need the end of the night for that to happen. Those words did it.

He smirked. She wiped at her cheeks quickly, and had a very blurry vision.

She couldn't take it if he would humiliate her like that after the long night ahead of her.

"I want you to take your words back," she said. "You called me cheap. That's my favor."

 _The new deal was now sealed..._ He would have to drive her home...he couldn't humiliate her like that. Even if he was known for being cruel and finding loopholes to walk around the deals, this was now sealed. It just had to.

He didn't seem impressed.

"Isn't that what you were when you hauled your body at me? At least a whore would've _asked_ for a fee."

Why did her heart break each time he insulted her? Why was it so painful?

She looked away in shame, and said, without really thinking; "I've had sex _three times_ in my entire life. What about you?"

She didn't know where the strength to voice out those words had come from. The words had just flown out of her mouth and appeared into his face. The shock consumed her as she brought her eyes to him. His lips parted and she was able to beat him before he could comment.

"You really want to go there?" he said deadly.

"You called _me_ cheap."

"Have you forgotten our deal?"

A flash forward showed her a picture of herself in misery after tonight, being dumped naked on the street.

She couldn't take it...she felt like she was being choked.

"No...I told you my favor," she said hysterically. "You have to drive me home tonight. That's what we agreed on."

"No," he said with an eye roll, as if something was very obvious. "I meant-"

Bella was done; she couldn't take this anymore.

"You can't fool me again, Edward," she yelled with more tears running down her face. "If you don't drive me home tonight...if you dump me like trash tonight, I will throw myself off the bridge!"

Three things happened.

First, she called him Edward again.

Second, Edward held her upper arms - a firm grip, yet one of the most neutral places on her body that he chose to touch.

Thirdly, she threatened to kill herself.

A cold, eerily feeling now crept inside Bella. Why did he hold her arms? What did he want from her? She pressed her lips on each other and felt that each breath was a forced one.

She was scared, of everything. Mostly she feared of what had become of her. Her next movement was stepping out of the car. She expected him to call after her or yank her back inside, only he didn't. Finally out of that suffocating car, she felt like she could breathe again.

She started walking as those final words she said left a bitter feeling inside her. She really didn't want to die. She didn't even know where that threat to throw herself of the Aurora Bridge had come from. She really didn't know, except that everything was James' fault.

She _tried_ to hate Edward. But she couldn't, because in his eyes, she was the one who was lying and holding back the truth. Her eyes went up as she walked, to the sky, because she felt cold drops of rain hit her face. And a slow downpour started... The cold rain drops hit the naked flesh of her arms and shoulders.

 _What would happen now?_


End file.
